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Well, if you have the financial backing to study abroad then you have the means necessary to dictate your life in any way you see fit. The only thing holding you back or causing you to be a loner is you! If I was rich (millions) then I would be throwing parties and be dripping in ummm...how do you say...tail? Sometimes people need to get away from where they are comfortable in order to not only find out who they really are but to also really live. Getting away is freedom. Just make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons.
When I was in high school, I visited London. And even though the women over there are pasty (not tan at all), they sure know how to dress. Skirts and thigh highs galore! You will love it. I sure did.
You're right, I don't like it. I'd change my circumstances, but how? Amazon's been out of stock on the Manual For Life, and nobody will lend me a copy.
Axle I'd rather be staying where I am, sure, but with someone :/
The first thing you need to accept is that you are going to have to operate out of your comfort zone. The first think you need to do is put a plan in writing. Believe in yourself, have confidence and be motivated to change. You can achieve anything you put your mind to.
You wish to change your circumstance? You might find that the new circumstance is less than you have now. But whatever, here you go. Move to someplace completely different. Quit your job, sell anything too big to carry and head out. I guarantee you by next year your circumstances will look entirely different.
Being in a rut is of your own choosing while you live in a free country like the US. You are free to head to Alaska, Florida, Texas or even that hell hole known as SOCAL (joke). You can even head overseas. Who knows? You may find the love of your life in the process.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome.
I agree with this, but it is not always practical for everyone to do. As he is a college student, that would mean transferring and paying out-of-state tuition with the possibility of not all of his classes transferring.
However, it may be something to keep in mind for the future.
As for what to do now, I don't really have any ideas that you probably don't already know.
I also agree with 20yrs about writing what you want to change, and how to do that. I always do that with everything.
I'm not gonna just drop everything I'm doing and move somewhere just to make some friends.
I might go abroad for a semester though.
So your circumstances are not that bad. Life involves trade offs. You can not do somethings with impacting other things you would like to do. If you fail to study you will not pass your courses. Chances are your lack of companionship is based on the fact you have other things that come first. You make the decision on whats more important.
You may think that going out to the party is less lonely than staying home but it isn't always that way. I used to go out multiple times a week and was constantly surrounded by co-workers, classmates, and friends who I got along with really well. However, at the end of the day you still go home alone. It is amazing how lonely I was back then despite all the social engagements I had going on. I was just filling my time with people to mask my true self who I did not like. After graduating, I realized that things weren't going to get better and moved from the city. Now, I am truly alone most of the time and maybe feel just a bit less lonely than before. I have learned to accept being by myself because there is nothing wrong with your own company. Go out to the store and buy nice wine, good cheese, and chocolate and indulge with yourself. Rent movies, read literature, research subjects that interest you. Write, paint, draw, etc...
Learning to be by yourself is one of the greatest assets a person can have. Once you like being with "you", you will attract people who really value your true personality. You will no longer envy the parties because you know that they are full of strangers who could care less about you. Yes, you may meet people but chances are they are drunk and you will have nothing to talk about once sober (except how drunk you were the night before). I don't know how to explain it but its very trite (nightlife, that is). Also, if you really want to make quality friends then you will have to venture into interest groups (book clubs, hiking, cooking, travel, etc...).
Who here sometimes feels like a loner? Maybe you're truly alone, with your only social interactions coming from saying hi to your coworkers and the pizza delivery guy. Maybe you have a few friends, but they're not always there for you, and you certainly don't have a sweet lady / wonderful man by your side. Whatever your situation, you feel alone and it may or may not bug you.
I wake up in the morning and see the rising sun. I throw some bread out for the birds and squirrels, who keep me company for a while. The wind comes in and whispers to me for a while. The cold temperature plays with my nose and ears. I pet the neighborhood cats and dogs.
Then I'm exposed to a night club crowd for at least 7 hours.
Then I close up the club, saying hello to my friends the moon and the stars. I yowl back at the neighborhood cats and pet the neighbor's dogs again.
In the summer, I have my buggy friends to keep me company.
I'm never alone.
But yes, I do look forward to the pizza-girl's visit every week!
Quote:
I'm sitting here in my room at 10PM on a Saturday night. Some might say not just any Saturday night, but the night of the first day of the new year. There are people out there laughing, living and loving, having a party for the second day in a row. Perhaps 'sampling some goods' from a looker they met at another party. Maybe spending the night in, sharing cheese and fine wine with a significant other. And you know what? This is how the majority of my Saturday nights have been for about five years.
You're the only guy that can change that, but I think you already know that...
Just wanted to jump in and say London is an amazing city for a loner to study in. I studied there a few years back and fell in love with the city. There is so much to do and explore with people and on your own that it's perfect. I also found that people over there are much more understanding of different personalities and much more laid back. I'm a loner trying to survive in the social mecca of Los Angeles and have reached a point in life that my main goal now is to save money and gain skills so I can live and work in London permanently. It may be a bit daunting to imagine going over not knowing anyone, but believe me it's totally worth it.
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You will love it. I sure did.
