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You may think that going out to the party is less lonely than staying home but it isn't always that way. I used to go out multiple times a week and was constantly surrounded by co-workers, classmates, and friends who I got along with really well. However, at the end of the day you still go home alone. It is amazing how lonely I was back then despite all the social engagements I had going on. I was just filling my time with people to mask my true self who I did not like. After graduating, I realized that things weren't going to get better and moved from the city. Now, I am truly alone most of the time and maybe feel just a bit less lonely than before. I have learned to accept being by myself because there is nothing wrong with your own company. Go out to the store and buy nice wine, good cheese, and chocolate and indulge with yourself. Rent movies, read literature, research subjects that interest you. Write, paint, draw, etc...
Learning to be by yourself is one of the greatest assets a person can have. Once you like being with "you", you will attract people who really value your true personality. You will no longer envy the parties because you know that they are full of strangers who could care less about you. Yes, you may meet people but chances are they are drunk and you will have nothing to talk about once sober (except how drunk you were the night before). I don't know how to explain it but its very trite (nightlife, that is). Also, if you really want to make quality friends then you will have to venture into interest groups (book clubs, hiking, cooking, travel, etc...).
Exactly. I never understood why people say parties are a good place to meet people. How many people will remember meeting you if they were drunk?
Loners are lonely. I don't consider myself lonely at all. I have friends, single now but have had quite a few girlfriends, etc. I just like doing my own thing, and could give a crap less what other people are doing. Going out and getting drunk with idiots holds no appeal to me, so I just read a good book and watch television on a Saturday night. Being 25, meeting like-minded people that enjoy that same type of thing is hard, so I go my own way.
I have a lot of friends, but I'm also a loner. Let me explain.
Yes, I have a lot of friends. But these friends are from all different circles. Obviously, that put limits on who I can spend time with, when I can spend time with them, how much time I can spend with them, etc
Now it's at the point where I don't go out of my way to see anyone. I just do my thing and see whoever I happen to see. Sometimes I'm alone, but I don't care. I'm not the type of person that always needs to be seen with other people.
I went to a college with no one from my high school. When I was entering college, I knew no one (except for some people I met on facebook and people I met at orientation). I go to a big (not huge, but at least mid-size) college. When I was entering college, I thought "This is good. I should meet a lot of people." And I did. But what I didn't expect is how I would meet people from so many different cliques. Sure, I know a lot of people, but I can't devote much time to any one friend (or acquaintance).
I guess before college I was imagining to meet a lot of people that were all in the same group.
I have a lot of friends, but I'm also a loner. Let me explain.
Yes, I have a lot of friends. But these friends are from all different circles. Obviously, that put limits on who I can spend time with, when I can spend time with them, how much time I can spend with them, etc
Now it's at the point where I don't go out of my way to see anyone. I just do my thing and see whoever I happen to see. Sometimes I'm alone, but I don't care. I'm not the type of person that always needs to be seen with other people.
I went to a college with no one from my high school. When I was entering college, I knew no one (except for some people I met on facebook and people I met at orientation). I go to a big (not huge, but at least mid-size) college. When I was entering college, I thought "This is good. I should meet a lot of people." And I did. But what I didn't expect is how I would meet people from so many different cliques. Sure, I know a lot of people, but I can't devote much time to any one friend (or acquaintance).
I guess before college I was imagining to meet a lot of people that were all in the same group.
Exactly. I moved from Nebraska to Arkansas for college (I'm originally from Mississippi so it wasn't a culture shock), and I met all kinds of people, but all kinds of people who were already in their select groups. I felt I was too old (even at 19-20) to get back into cliques like in high school. Too much effort. At 25 now, I could care less about any of it.
Exactly. I moved from Nebraska to Arkansas for college (I'm originally from Mississippi so it wasn't a culture shock), and I met all kinds of people, but all kinds of people who were already in their select groups. I felt I was too old (even at 19-20) to get back into cliques like in high school. Too much effort. At 25 now, I could care less about any of it.
I actually had a clique during the Spring 2010 semester. It was basically a group of people that all went to high school together (except me of course). But they accepted me and it got to the point where I felt like I was one of them.
This will never happen again though, for a number of reasons. Let's just say there was one fight in the clique and it had a ripple effect. The clique has gone their separate ways. They're all still friendly toward me, even though they hate each other.
In high school, I didn't have a set clique. I weaved in and out of cliques, because I found that it got boring to always be around the same people. Besides, I liked the variety. But it was less complicated because my high school was smaller. My high school had 750 students. My college has 13,000 students.
And the frats make things even more complicated. Frats=high school all over again, except without parental supervision.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,081,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91
I have a lot of friends, but I'm also a loner. Let me explain.
Yes, I have a lot of friends. But these friends are from all different circles. Obviously, that put limits on who I can spend time with, when I can spend time with them, how much time I can spend with them, etc
Now it's at the point where I don't go out of my way to see anyone. I just do my thing and see whoever I happen to see. Sometimes I'm alone, but I don't care. I'm not the type of person that always needs to be seen with other people.
I went to a college with no one from my high school. When I was entering college, I knew no one (except for some people I met on facebook and people I met at orientation). I go to a big (not huge, but at least mid-size) college. When I was entering college, I thought "This is good. I should meet a lot of people." And I did. But what I didn't expect is how I would meet people from so many different cliques. Sure, I know a lot of people, but I can't devote much time to any one friend (or acquaintance).
I guess before college I was imagining to meet a lot of people that were all in the same group.
Yeah it's easy to collect acquaintances and friends you catch up with now and then, but in this day and age having a 'best buddy' is getting harder and harder. People are so career-driven or involved with family or whatever else.
To HurricaneDC, you've just got to get out. It takes time to build confidence, which, with a modicum of personality and friendliness, will have you more friends than you know what to do with!
Who here sometimes feels like a loner? Maybe you're truly alone, with your only social interactions coming from saying hi to your coworkers and the pizza delivery guy. Maybe you have a few friends, but they're not always there for you, and you certainly don't have a sweet lady / wonderful man by your side. Whatever your situation, you feel alone and it may or may not bug you.
I'm sitting here in my room at 10PM on a Saturday night. Some might say not just any Saturday night, but the night of the first day of the new year. There are people out there laughing, living and loving, having a party for the second day in a row. Perhaps 'sampling some goods' from a looker they met at another party. Maybe spending the night in, sharing cheese and fine wine with a significant other. And you know what? This is how the majority of my Saturday nights have been for about five years.
Samston, you are by far one of the most unproductive and non-contributing members of this forum. Pretty much everything you post is some misanthropic, 9th grade angsty teenager bull**** and you'd do the world a favor if you just shut the hell up for once. I'd rather read a million threads from TVSG than see more of the drivel you post. Welcome to my ignore list, you're the first
Samston, you are by far one of the most unproductive and non-contributing members of this forum. Pretty much everything you post is some misanthropic, 9th grade angsty teenager bull**** and you'd do the world a favor if you just shut the hell up for once. I'd rather read a million threads from TVSG than see more of the drivel you post. Welcome to my ignore list, you're the first
You are essentially complaining that you have no friends. there must be a reason why people shy away from you.
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