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Which is dumb really...you should never bend to a mate because they have insecurity issues .
I should never compromise for a mate because they have insecurity issues? I don't find being giving, compassionate, or sensitive to others to be difficult. And we all have issues in one form or another that our mates have to contend with. The 'me show' is not something that brings personal fulfillment. Granted, it works for some.
Until a man is married he is single. There is no in between. Despite the fact that we would like to believe that being a boyfriend or even "in a committed relationship" or being "exclusive" changes that. It does not. Until he is married he is single. Therefore, he has all the rights that a single man has and that includes seeing or being with any person he wishes of the opposite sex.
If his behavior makes you uncomfortable then you have two choices. Marry him or find another boyfriend. Your current station does not give you the right to make any commentary whatsoever upon how he lives his life. Sorry but this is the truth. The fact of the matter is that at any moment in time you are mere seconds away from NOT being his girlfriend. All he has to do is say "See ya" and you are simply a memory.
Until a man is married he is single. There is no in between. Despite the fact that we would like to believe that being a boyfriend or even "in a committed relationship" or being "exclusive" changes that. It does not. Until he is married he is single. Therefore, he has all the rights that a single man has and that includes seeing or being with any person he wishes of the opposite sex.
If his behavior makes you uncomfortable then you have two choices. Marry him or find another boyfriend. Your current station does not give you the right to make any commentary whatsoever upon how he lives his life. Sorry but this is the truth. The fact of the matter is that at any moment in time you are mere seconds away from NOT being his girlfriend. All he has to do is say "See ya" and you are simply a memory.
20yrsinBranson
Are you saying you condone this type of behavior in every relationship other than marriage?
Until a man is married he is single. There is no in between. Despite the fact that we would like to believe that being a boyfriend or even "in a committed relationship" or being "exclusive" changes that. It does not. Until he is married he is single. Therefore, he has all the rights that a single man has and that includes seeing or being with any person he wishes of the opposite sex.
If his behavior makes you uncomfortable then you have two choices. Marry him or find another boyfriend. Your current station does not give you the right to make any commentary whatsoever upon how he lives his life. Sorry but this is the truth. The fact of the matter is that at any moment in time you are mere seconds away from NOT being his girlfriend. All he has to do is say "See ya" and you are simply a memory.
20yrsinBranson
That's true to a point - but a relationship that is leading up to the committed one can still be a faithful relationship.
Actually it's better if people don't try to be "married" by the second date because it's better for everyone to be certain of their feelings before making a commitment.
The couple has to decide how they want their relationship and relationships with others to be - if one isn't comfortable with the ex-lovers still in the picture - it's up to both to figure out how important those ex-lovers really are. If the ex-lover is still very important to keep around - then it may be best to end the relationship long before it actually becomes a committed one.
In this case it sounds like one wants to move toward a committment, the other still values a particular ex over the newer girlfriend. Of course it's not adultery or anything - but it still shows he's not ready for any kind of committment.
I was just going to say to the OP that she is not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with this guy. In her imagination she might be, but not in reality. Most guys, unless they have problems, get erections throughout the night, even if they haven't done anything sexual, which is only a matter of time if it has not already happened.
No no no. Theres no need to play any games or "fight fire with fire" or whatever. This guy may be a "good guy" but it's clear he doesn't take the OP's feeling seriously. The OP,hoping to be objective, is trying to rationalize the situation and find excuses for it. I know this because I'm the same way. You're not being some emotional ninny. Trust those bells going off in your head and your intuition. I'm glad you breaking up with this guy.
I am little passive agresive because I don't think its "playing games" if she simply plays by his rules.
My boyfriends boundaries with other women make me uncomfortable, should I chill out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
Until a man is married he is single. There is no in between. Despite the fact that we would like to believe that being a boyfriend or even "in a committed relationship" or being "exclusive" changes that. It does not. Until he is married he is single. Therefore, he has all the rights that a single man has and that includes seeing or being with any person he wishes of the opposite sex.
If his behavior makes you uncomfortable then you have two choices. Marry him or find another boyfriend. Your current station does not give you the right to make any commentary whatsoever upon how he lives his life. Sorry but this is the truth. The fact of the matter is that at any moment in time you are mere seconds away from NOT being his girlfriend. All he has to do is say "See ya" and you are simply a memory.
20yrsinBranson
I agree! If you haven't set some ground rules early in the relationship that you both agree to abide by, why try to set them now. Your relationship is only 8 months old, and is long distance. I suspect your boyfriend is very close to telling you goodbye, and he probably will do that very thing if you nag him. If I were you I would watch to see where he goes with this friendship between himself and his former room mate. He may choose you, and he may not. One thing is clear, you don't own him, he's only a boyfriend.
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My boyfriends boundaries with other women make me uncomfortable, should I chill out?
