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Whenever people find anyone who is unsuccessful at attracting women on this forum; there tends to be a lot of answers saying "improve yourself" or "fix yourself" or "get some life experience".
The last one basically means: Do tons of crap that has nothing to do with anything and see if life changes, if it doesn't; keep on going till you're dead.
So let's play with the idea that I were to follow any of the first two;
what the hell do I do then?
I've done what I can about my looks, body odor etc, I'm getting an education, etc
I mean it's not like I can pick up a new personality at the convenient store, is it?
Whenever people find anyone who is unsuccessful at attracting women on this forum; there tends to be a lot of answers saying "improve yourself" or "fix yourself" or "get some life experience".
The last one basically means: Do tons of crap that has nothing to do with anything and see if life changes, if it doesn't; keep on going till you're dead.
So let's play with the idea that I were to follow any of the first two;
what the hell do I do then?
I've done what I can about my looks, body odor etc, I'm getting an education, etc
I mean it's not like I can pick up a new personality at the convenient store, is it?
I'll FIX your car, boat, motorcycle, house or almost everything in it. Axle doesn't need FIXING. It's a GAME to change you. The real GAME is not letting them. You are who you are. Take it or leave it! The risk is worth everything. Let some other douche get deballed!
Whenever people find anyone who is unsuccessful at attracting women on this forum; there tends to be a lot of answers saying "improve yourself" or "fix yourself" or "get some life experience".
The last one basically means: Do tons of crap that has nothing to do with anything and see if life changes, if it doesn't; keep on going till you're dead.
So let's play with the idea that I were to follow any of the first two;
what the hell do I do then?
I've done what I can about my looks, body odor etc, I'm getting an education, etc
I mean it's not like I can pick up a new personality at the convenient store, is it?
Actually? YES, you can "pick up a new personality...." If you don't like something about yourself, YOU can change it. Are you always thinking about what's in it for you? Always thinking, if I do this she'll want to go out with me? STOP. That isn't the right personality for dating.
What is? CARE about others. That's what "find something that interests you" is about - when you find something you care about, and are willing to share that information/knowledge and your passion about the topic, you become interesting. You become someone who has something to share with others, to GIVE. Then you aren't so busy focusing on yourself that your message is no longer "I'm a taker/user - what do I get out of this conversation?" you become someone who draws others TO you.
You might as well leave home the deodorant because the quid-pro-quo attitude is just as offensive as stinky armpits.
Whenever people find anyone who is unsuccessful at attracting women on this forum; there tends to be a lot of answers saying "improve yourself" or "fix yourself" or "get some life experience".
The last one basically means: Do tons of crap that has nothing to do with anything and see if life changes, if it doesn't; keep on going till you're dead.
So let's play with the idea that I were to follow any of the first two;
what the hell do I do then?
I've done what I can about my looks, body odor etc, I'm getting an education, etc
I mean it's not like I can pick up a new personality at the convenient store, is it?
At my work is a really good example. There's a kid there in his twenties. He's maybe 5' 8", he's skinny. He's not attractive feature wise. Slight over bite, glasses. He dresses well, he's clean and neat. and he's always with some new hot chick! A guy like this might mystify a bunch of the other guys but not me. I see his techniques.
A. He's well known as a listener. The women are always talking his ear off.
B. He's slow and deliberate in his movements.
C. If observing him talking to women you see their mouth moving a lot, not so much his.
D. He jokes around with them, but not too much, maybe a litlle jab once in a while, however, they all describe him as hillarious.
E. His body language is fantastic. Sitting at a table with a girl, I've often noticed him casually pointing to his ear while listening to them.
D. He knows when he's being invited! We're party crashers. Sometimes the easiest way to get the hottest chick in the room is by acting like she's not there!
This stuff can be learned. Guys are like bulls in china shops when it comes to these things, however. It's literally against our programming. Somebody tells us any problem, we think they want us to fix it. We think it'll impress them if we do. A automobile problem, maybe, a social problem, no.
We read Maxim and it says be funny. So we try to be Seth Rogen, when they want Rupert Evert.
Pick up lines? Burn them. Far better to learn eye contact. If she's not interested the funniest thing on earth isn't going to sway her. A confident smile at the right moment works better than words.
As far as not wanting to put the effort into this? You want your car fixed by the kid they just hired off the street, or a 20 year expert familiar with your model?
Maybe untill you become comfortable with just you, you can't really be comfortable with someone else.I'ts not really "what you're doing wrong" verses "what she's doing wrong" but instead why do you have such a NEED to not be alone?...
Whenever people find anyone who is unsuccessful at attracting women on this forum; there tends to be a lot of answers saying "improve yourself" or "fix yourself" or "get some life experience".
The last one basically means: Do tons of crap that has nothing to do with anything and see if life changes, if it doesn't; keep on going till you're dead.
So let's play with the idea that I were to follow any of the first two;
what the hell do I do then?
I've done what I can about my looks, body odor etc, I'm getting an education, etc
I mean it's not like I can pick up a new personality at the convenient store, is it?
It's all about your attitude honey. Change your attitude and you'll change your lattitude
So many of you young guys who post here have such negative, whiny, sucky attitudes
Get rid of the negative, game playing, macho spouting, crappy attitudes and you'd be amazed how much easier it will be to attract quality women, not dippy airheads with emotional issues.
It's all about your attitude honey. Change your attitude and you'll change your lattitude
So many of you young guys who post here have such negative, whiny, sucky attitudes
Get rid of the negative, game playing, macho spouting, crappy attitudes and you'd be amazed how much easier it will be to attract quality women, not dippy airheads with emotional issues.
This is true. I'm amazed by how many of you young men complain about women. Maybe the lack of getting a woman. You spend too much time in this virtual world.
I can't get a woman
I can't get laid
I can't get a woman to speak to me
GEEESH!
Some of you say, I want a woman. Then, you turn around and say, I hate people. wth.
So you've covered good hygiene (which EVERYONE should practice) and looks. What else do you have to offer?
What makes you stand out from other guys? Do you have interests that you can discuss with the opposite gender other than sports or fitness? Standing there looking pretty isn't going to win you a date.
Go volunteer at the animal shelter, get involved in charity work, take up a hobby that doesn't involve sports...find something that will make you stand out when you speak up.
Most guys are well versed in sports or gaming...what makes YOU interesting to women? That's what you have to figure out.
Find something that makes you fun to be around and/or interesting. All my other dates before meeting my husband were bland...movies, bowling, out to dinner...very generic and not worth going back for more.
When I met my husband there was definitely a physical attraction but what held my interest was the fact that he was a well rounded person. As dorky/geeky as it might sound, he had a big interest in rockets and on one of our dates, we built a rocket and then found an open field and launched it. I never thought I'd have any fun with this, but we had a great time. He took me crabbing for the first time as well. Not something I would have ever done myself so it was different and again, a great date.
What can you share with someone else that makes you fun/interesting/worth going back for more?
At my work is a really good example. There's a kid there in his twenties. He's maybe 5' 8", he's skinny. He's not attractive feature wise. Slight over bite, glasses. He dresses well, he's clean and neat. and he's always with some new hot chick! A guy like this might mystify a bunch of the other guys but not me. I see his techniques.
A. He's well known as a listener. The women are always talking his ear off.
B. He's slow and deliberate in his movements.
C. If observing him talking to women you see their mouth moving a lot, not so much his.
D. He jokes around with them, but not too much, maybe a litlle jab once in a while, however, they all describe him as hillarious.
E. His body language is fantastic. Sitting at a table with a girl, I've often noticed him casually pointing to his ear while listening to them.
D. He knows when he's being invited! We're party crashers. Sometimes the easiest way to get the hottest chick in the room is by acting like she's not there!
This stuff can be learned. Guys are like bulls in china shops when it comes to these things, however. It's literally against our programming. Somebody tells us any problem, we think they want us to fix it. We think it'll impress them if we do. A automobile problem, maybe, a social problem, no.
We read Maxim and it says be funny. So we try to be Seth Rogen, when they want Rupert Evert.
Pick up lines? Burn them. Far better to learn eye contact. If she's not interested the funniest thing on earth isn't going to sway her. A confident smile at the right moment works better than words.
As far as not wanting to put the effort into this? You want your car fixed by the kid they just hired off the street, or a 20 year expert familiar with your model?
Careful there.... you MIGHT be bragging then! Oh Nos!!!!
So you've covered good hygiene (which EVERYONE should practice) and looks. What else do you have to offer?
What makes you stand out from other guys? Do you have interests that you can discuss with the opposite gender other than sports or fitness? Standing there looking pretty isn't going to win you a date.
Go volunteer at the animal shelter, get involved in charity work, take up a hobby that doesn't involve sports...find something that will make you stand out when you speak up.
Most guys are well versed in sports or gaming...what makes YOU interesting to women? That's what you have to figure out.
Find something that makes you fun to be around and/or interesting. All my other dates before meeting my husband were bland...movies, bowling, out to dinner...very generic and not worth going back for more.
When I met my husband there was definitely a physical attraction but what held my interest was the fact that he was a well rounded person. As dorky/geeky as it might sound, he had a big interest in rockets and on one of our dates, we built a rocket and then found an open field and launched it. I never thought I'd have any fun with this, but we had a great time. He took me crabbing for the first time as well. Not something I would have ever done myself so it was different and again, a great date.
What can you share with someone else that makes you fun/interesting/worth going back for more?
Now that is a man you don't NEED to FIX! That is a blast!
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