Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindy_Jole
No problem, we can agree to disagree
I don't believe in the "two to tango" idea when it comes to cheating. For marriages ending, yes, but not for cheating.
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I could not agree with you more !
I can understand that someone would no longer love or find his/her spouse attractive, and that they might want to end the marriage.
I will never understand nor accept cheating however. Anyone IMO who cheats is morally bankrupt and a coward.
BEFORE you cheat you speak to your spouse and try to find a solution and failing that you leave. It's called being honest.
There is no excuse for going behind someone's back and I do not accept that anyone deserves to be cheated on for WHATEVER reasons.
There is a solution to wanting somebody else to sleep with and have a relationship with, it's called a divorce.
I don't expect all relationships to be perfect and last forever. That would be just silly and very naive.
What I expect however is for mature adults to behave like grown ups and with a sense of moral responsibility.
If you have made a promise to someone to be faithful and abide by certain rules and find yourself unable to do so anymore you just cut the ties or you better convince your spouse to have an open relationship.
Anything else to me is just repugnant. If you can't keep it in your pants for whatever reasons until you sort out your relationship first then to me there is a pretty serious problem ... We might be animals but unlike most of the fauna we share the planet with we do have an extremely developed sense of empathy, compassion and are perfectly capable of saying no to a roll in the hay.
"It's a mistake" is basically saying you could not help yourself which is preposterous. We chose to cheat. It is not an accident but a wilful act of destruction.
To say you could not help yourself could be compared to men who say they could not help themselves when they raped a woman because she said no. Even at the very last second a man can say no.
I find it demeaning to the human race that we are behaving like baboons in a zoo as a specie and that apologists for it try to find excuses and reasons for what is basically churlish and nasty.
"I did not mean to "has to be one of the worst possible excuses ever. What did you mean ? To put your penis in her purse instead or to shove your boobs in the oven instead but missed ? Were you actually convinced your lips were wrapped around a nice ice-cream rather than another man's family jewels... ?!
We behave like bastards and then try to blame the other person.
I find that despicable. Time to assume responsibility and stop trying to blame others.
Marriages do take two people to work. Cheating is the choice of ONE individual.
All human beings in relationships/marriages will have had highs and lows, it is life. You talk about it, discuss it like decent human beings and when it fails you get a divorce or split up. I cannot see why some people cannot grasp that concept.
It is true that many people will stay after infidelity ( I know some of those myself) but I wonder how many can genuinely say they trust their spouse anymore, how may truly forgive them and how many are still not deeply hurt by the betrayal even years afterwards.
How many women for example stay because they feel vulnerable, especially with children or with no financial opportunities, how many people do not
accept as much as
put up with indefility because thye find themselves scared to be on their own or trapped ? I do wonder how many people genuinely think "no problem" it was only an "accident" , "his penis obviously slipped"...