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I dont know what to say...I am so perplexed by my husband stand on his mom's mean words.
We have a Sp. need child whom my mom-in-law suggested that It would be great if someone else raises him.
She mentioned this the first time to me and I just thought she was joking and I started laughing at her joke and I just said I know its lot of work to raise a sp. need child. She did not say anything and was quiet at that time.
But then she again mentioned it when my child was throwing tantrum and was unable to console. I was shocked with her remark at that time. I just told her that he is my son and I will take care of him but if you feel he nothing for you then dont be around him. And just left the room.
Now her mean remarks have been going on from long time. If she has nothing else, she would start comparing my son with her other son's normal child. She would come and tell me-'oh, by the way do u see so and so, she is already potty trained, Oh and look at your son, when do u think he will be potty trained?
Then she is after my other younger child who is just 10 months old..so far seems to be normal. She just keeps telling me Oh I think she is not doing so and so, maybe she would turn like his brother.
Everyday her negative comments are either about my sp. need son or my daughter (according to her, she might be too a sp. need child)
I am tired of her comments and honestly its very hurtful
She is a nagging mother-in-law, whose comments I used to ignore when it was about me. But now, I cannot tolerate her comments on my kids.
The best part of this is that whenever I mention about her comments to my hubby, he just tells me that its ok. According to him, thats how she is and I should just ignore her comments.
Infact If I put my foot down and tell him to talk to her. He just remains quiet. Instead he explains me all the nice things about my mother-in-law.
What am I supposed to do? I dont have the option of not seeing her as she lives with us
Yikes! I was going to say quit visiting her, but then saw you said she lives with you. You have my sympathy.
You have to put your children first and lay down the law to you MIL. When she starts saying nasty things, tell her to keep quiet or she may leave the room.
You might also point out that if she wasn't such a burden to your family, you would have more time to deal with your childrens problems. And then suggest she go live with the other son.
You might also point out that if she wasn't such a burden to your family, you would have more time to deal with your childrens problems. And then suggest she go live with the other son.
If your son wasn't special needs, she'd still be comparing him with other peoples babies. That's just what grandparents do. I used to call my mom and tell her when one of my kids learned something new, and she'd say, "What's the big deal? You did that when you were six months old!" My MIL is actually easier to deal with than my mom because MIL knows I won't talk to her if she ticks me off. MIL tells me what a great job I do with the kids and taking care of her son. My mom is the mean one.
I think the reason your husband is telling you what's nice about his mom is that he's trying to make the best of a tough situation. He's caught in the middle and no matter what he says, one of you will feel like he's let you down. He needs to stand up for his son, though...tell his mom that her hurtful comments will affect your son.
sending you hugs, she sounds like an insensitive beeeotch. say to her in a firm voice next time she says something unacceptable to stop. tell her not to talk badly about your son, period. maybe she thinks she can because no one tells her not to. if your husband won't say something to her you can.
It sounds like your mother-in-law has special needs and may require someone else to care for her .. a nice home somewhere where she can get the professional care she requires. I'd bring this up with hubby asap.
It sounds like your mother-in-law has special needs and may require someone else to care for her .. a nice home somewhere where she can get the professional care she requires. I'd bring this up with hubby asap.
this is exactly what i would start to do!!! make her understand how at some point in our lives we will all have special needs and perhaps her time is now!
I don't know she sounds like an evil woman especially trying to imply your second child has some special needs (which I'm sure she knows must be of grave concern to you)!I'd tell my husband to back me up and tell her to leave or he can leave with her!!
Are you providing her with a place of residence in your own home?
Sounds like it.
Explain to her you have no obligation to provide her with a place to live and there are rules of the house for her to follow if she wants to remain living there.
And the first rule is "you do not put down or compare my child with any other children. You should be trying to help, teach, and encourage the child. HE IS YOUR GRANDSON."
You might have to be a little harsh to get the point across.
I realize that family is family and I am very family oriented and no one should want confrontations that is hurtfull and we all want to help and support each other.
But if I was in your position with her attitude and comments it would be either except us ALL as we are or get out.
I can also understand the husbands reluctance to intervene because it is his mother.
But his first obligation is to his wife and kids. He needs to realize his Mom is causing friction in the family and advise her to nip it in the bud.
If his Mom has emotional or physical problems that might be a contributing factor then he should see she gets help.
I love my Mom as much as any son can. But if she lived with me and caused the problems you are having I would have to take some kind of action to change the situation.
Your husband needs to quit ignoring it and take care of it and lay down some barriers that isn't acceptable to cross. He needs to let go of his Mothers apron strings and support the woman he married and the children he gave life to. He needs to let her know he will always be there and love her. But he also needs to make it plain he will not accept or tolerate her negative comments about his kids or his wife.
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