I told her I love her (marriage, guy, husband, young)
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I think she loves you but just wants to be sure, especially this early on. I was in her shoes once and this was how early in the relationship it was said to me. We were way younger so he didn't take it well that I didn't say it back right away. I was crazy about him, but wanted to be 150% sure it wasn't just lust.
I think she loves you but just wants to be sure, especially this early on. I was in her shoes once and this was how early in the relationship it was said to me. We were way younger so he didn't take it well that I didn't say it back right away. I was crazy about him, but wanted to be 150% sure it wasn't just lust.
So when did you ever reach 150% surety? I take it that you are now happily married ever after? Or was just more time not the answer in that relationship?
So when did you ever reach 150% surety? I take it that you are now happily married ever after? Or was just more time not the answer in that relationship?
I did say I was really young at the time, didn't I? I made a mistake. I really did love him, but he was the one that wasn't sure and should have never said it to me. Looking back, he was probably in a hurry to take my virginity . the point I was trying to make was, I really did love him and maybe cdubs girl is in the same boat I was.
I don't know what I'm trying to even say at this point. I just lack experience with these situations and I don't know how I am supposed to feel. Any thoughts?
In a couple of my relationships, my boyfriend told me first, and I didn't reply in kind as I thought it was too soon, and I wanted to be sure of my own feelings. I think happens a lot - I wouldn't worry about it, it sounds all good to me.
I am going to go against the conventional wisdom of how great that she was honest with you. Sounds like she is not interested in having more than a no strings relationship with you. If you are interested in having more with this lady (marriage), it does not look likely. Have you heard of Runaway Bride types?
I find it telling that she needs more than a certainty (140%) before she even can say she loves you. Sorry but it does not look good.
Oh, so by your logic, everyone falls in love at exactly the same time. No, it doesn't work that way. People should say what they feel, when THEY are ready. That is the best way, and it sounds like that is exactly what she is doing.
Many people do not know what love is - to them. I didn't and I always used to feel a fraud saying I love you. BUT, I demonstrated it in different ways and I think that is the thing. What you need, - to know that you are loved, is going to be different from what someone else needs, - to know that they are loved. Eventually, I came to know myself better and I could then genuinely say I love you and know that I meant it.
When will we realise that it is often actions not words that demonstrate how tender and loving we are.
However, having said that, NLP apparently says (or used to say) that there are 3 types of people Visual types, Auditory types, and touchy-feely types and each type of person needs and expresses their personality (and love) in different ways. It may just be that you need to hear "I love you" and she needs to be held, hugged, and cuddled. Both are valid ways of expressing and receiving love and both could be what you each need. Of course, each of us is a mix of these three types, dont forget.
Once you recognise all this, you will not be so bothered by not receiving 'love' in the same way as you give it. Hang in there, it sounds like it is working.
Oh, so by your logic, everyone falls in love at exactly the same time. No, it doesn't work that way. People should say what they feel, when THEY are ready. That is the best way, and it sounds like that is exactly what she is doing.
No, not at all, CM. When a persons comes up with a BS metric (140%) it raise a flag about their motives/thinking process. Put this with the previous incident relayed by Cdubs and a pattern emerges.
Just like I can tell from your posts a great deal about your thinking processes. I am sure you would not be flattered.
I believe in the end when I look back on it a good many of my regrets will be the things I left unsaid that time then pased by. I may be a fool but I say celebrate your love, scream it from the highest rooftop if you are moved to do so, let what happens happen.
That's what I had said when I told her and she didn't say it back. I figured something could always happen to either one of us tomorrow and I'd feel terrible if I never got to tell her. I at least wanted to let her know how I feel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86
I think she loves you but just wants to be sure, especially this early on. I was in her shoes once and this was how early in the relationship it was said to me. We were way younger so he didn't take it well that I didn't say it back right away. I was crazy about him, but wanted to be 150% sure it wasn't just lust.
I think so too, I just think she's been in this scenario more times than I have in her life and she wants to be sure. I think she does love me back but it's ok with me if she wants to wait to tell me. I know she's not going anywhere and neither am I.
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She has been kind of hinting at that night and I think she wants me to say it again but I haven't yet. I think she wants to know that I really meant it. I did mean it, but again its still a little awkward to me to tell her again knowing she won't say it back. Maybe I'll do like a poster has previously stated and just wait for a special moment to tell her again. She may have the thought that I regret saying it or said it "in the moment" but I did really mean it, I'll just have to wait for the right time to tell her again.
I just lack experience with these situations and I don't know how I am supposed to feel. Any thoughts?
in your case, it's not about how you feel. it is about how you identify what those feelings are, and how you express them to other people so they understand and relate.
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. the point I was trying to make was, I really did love him and maybe cdubs girl is in the same boat I was.
Oh, so by your logic, everyone falls in love at exactly the same time. 
