You could lock up all of Hollyweird's best comedy writers in a room all hopped up on Seattle's best, and they still couldn't write the comedy of errors that was this weekend visiting my Dad.
My dad isn't a bad guy, he just drives me nuts.....
He is probably one of the lamest guys in the world when it comes to technology. Point being, we get in his car to go out for breakfast, he can't figure out how to work his own stereo in his car, He's trying to switch the CD player to the radio. We're driving along,he's looking down, we're weaving in and out of traffic. He manages to pull over and somehow figures out how to get the radio playing. Well that challenge taxed him to the point of deciding that the music that was on was good enough.
Justin Bieber sugary pop crappola blasted to the point we have to scream at each other, I finally asked him to turn it down a little. While were driving along, he's kind of hogging the lane meanwhile he's hurling insults at all of the "bad" drivers on the road.
At this point I look down to see if his car has passenger side air bags, trying to calculate the damage I may avoid if we happen to get into a wreck.
So we're going along listening to pop hits r us, He proceeds to fire up a cig in his "non-smoking" car. Great, so I'm choking and tasting his cigarette smoke, he then kindly rolls the back window down a couple of inches, well, this creates a nice venturi effect of smoke twirling my head.
We manage to get where we going and while going thru the parking lot, he takes a turn down a lane, that clearly didn't have any way to get out, well of course he drives right to the end, we then had to do an Austin Powers move backing up and pulling forward fifty friggin times, hoping that he doesn't destroy any other vehicles in the process.
We made it through that, then the next fisaco was him almost hitting a curb while making a right turn, of course this is followed up with a good dose cursing and fist waving.
So....... I got so many more, I'm gonna have to start to cherry pick, for fear I may lose the readers at this point.
I went back to the hotel for a while with explicit instrucitions from my Dad to be back at the house around 6:30 for dinner. It gets much better at this point. I walk in the front door greeted with the sound of the tv blasting at 90 decibels.... I call out a couple of times, to no answer, so I head off to use the restroom, well out of the corner of my eye I see my step mom's naked body as she crossed the other hallway. She didn't see me and I quickly darted into the restroom.
So I'm standing in the bathroom on the verge of panicking I decided to use a lifeline and call Mrs. Chow. After the laughter subsided..... she suggest that I open the door and call out again, as if to let her know that I'm there. I lucked out cause I heard her answer me from her bedroom.
Whew, dodged an awkward as ass situation.
I've got a few more, but I'm starting to get a little windy with this long post.
I once read that if you think your an enlightened person, try spending the weekend with your family.
Truer words have never been uttered.......
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
