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How long do you live with regret when you have let a good person get away due to your own immaturity and lack of good judgment? A lifetime?
I was a sophomore in college, when my friend introduced me to a quiet, soft-spoken guy that was majoring in accounting. My mother didn't teach me before attending college what qualities to look for in a suitable mate, I have had to learn along the way. So, when I met Mr. Accounting Major, I was not prepared to make the right choice and rejected him for very shallow reasons.
I quickly realized that I had made a mistake when I observed how well he was doing academically and socially. As expected, he graduated at the top of our class and later became a CPA, working at one of the top accounting firms.
His champion abilities are truly immeasureable, after looking at his linkedin page I discovered that has since completed law school and is now working at a prestigious law firm.
It is not his accomplishments which make me feel regretful, the regret had already settled in within one year of meeting him. It was my inability to see him as desirable based on his good character alone.
It has been about 10 years now and many days of my life I still think about the wrong choice that I made to reject him.
Mistakes are about learning, hopefully. You usually can't roll back the clock, so regrets don't accomplish anything. You can apply the new wisdom going forward, and make better choices. Dwelling on the past is a mistake that may prevent you from moving forward, so I hope this isn't another mistake that will eventually lead to more wisdom!
Most of us have done that... Yes, I occasionally think of these people. The thing is I don't regret not being able to go back in time; I regret being wired the way I am. The honest truth is I'll make the same choice today. What is a bit strange about me is that I could've (and have) made different choices in between. Right now, though, I just have no reasons for settling for what I don't really want, even though, objectively speaking, I probably need somebody more than ever.
I guess this post doesn't make a whole lot of sense because I don't want to go into personal details that would make it more comprehensible. I think my point is that I was more likely to go for something like this when I had more time ahead of me and when I had fewer painful experiences than now when I have less time and more hurt behind.
I am pretty successful at where I am in life... none of the girls really paid any attention to me in high school or college... I make good money and considered to be one of Obama's tax targets (hehehe) and I look back at the girls who I had crushes on and see what they have done in their life... they seem happy... their families don't make as much money as me but they are happy... so I suggest you'd be happy with what you got instead of thinking of a lost opportunity... it might not have worked out for you and him in the past anyways... I am happy but I also wondered what would of happened if I had the nerve to ask this girl out... I am 150% sure that she would of rejected me... but at least I asked instead of wondering years later... your mom can't tell you how to choose your husband, that is one lesson that you should learn on your own...
At least rejecting this nice man taught you to not reject future suitors for "very shallow reasons". Therefore, lesson learned and no need to regret this.
Who knows, you two may have been incompatible in other ways and the relationship might/might not have lasted.
Agreed for his sake. You don't sleep with his resume. And its just as shallow to pick someone on those life things and not feel something for the person.
My goal all through my life has been try everything, give all things a chance and finish it to the bloody end. Results = no regrets.
I started doing that after I would hear adults' life regret stories. I would rather fall down and get back up than wait safely by the side watching life go by.
What was meant to happen, happened. Who knows, if you hadn't rejected him, he could be a skid row bum today. Or working at McDonald's.
True. Like this joke:
The President and Mrs. Clinton are vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love. They exchanged hellos, and the Clintons went on their way.
As they drove on toward destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today."
She smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States."
I really believe in "you live, you learn." We learn more from our regrets than our successes.
I had the converse of this issue happen in my life. In college, I dated a somewhat nerdy but smart guy, and a guy who I felt more attracted to. At first, I was not ready to be exclusive, and I was honest with both of them about seeing the other one. When I finally had to make a choice, I chose the guy I felt more attraction to. The smart guy became all indignant, saying angry things about how I'll regret it, and did I not recognize that he'll be successful in the future, and that the other guy had "no income potential." Well, that attitude of his only sealed the deal...
I ended up leaving the other one a few years later too. BOTH of them ended up being very successful in their careers. But with that knowledge of how they turned out, I still didn't regret dumping either of them.
If you meet a guy and you don't love him, his getting a good job is not suddenly going to make you love him. And if it does, you're the one with the issues.
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