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Heh, heh - the first picnic I ever went on with my future wife, she wasn't sure what I liked so she basically brought a little of everything. Red and white meat, seafood, veggies, fruit, nuts, cold cuts, probably 15 kinds of crackers to go with the 25 kinds of cheese...
My weakness is cake. I have a piece every day of the year. Bake me a delicious cake on a first date, and after my 3rd slice with milk, what would I say?
Anything you want me to do, just say the word! Your wish is my command!
My weakness is cake. I have a piece every day of the year. Bake me a delicious cake on a first date, and after my 3rd slice with milk, what would I say?
Anything you want me to do, just say the word! Your wish is my command!
I think ALL human beings have their own little ways to manipulate those around us to get what we want. Most of us "flirt" without even knowing it in our daily lives ( and by flirt I do not mean in a sexual manner more in the "charm" sense of the word) to simply oil the wheels of normal day to day living.
I can honestly say I have never used sex to get what I wanted from Hubby ( and boyfriends before him), I suppose because I would feel any results would skewed and not a true reflection of their feelings.
But yes like all of us I do have my own little ways to make things go smoother when it suits me. When you have been with someone for years you know what makes them tick and how to manipulate them for want for another word to make things easier. I am perfectly aware he will do likewise to me ! I don't see anything wrong with harmless little pushes as long as it is not a deception or a lie.
You must retain your honesty and openess with your SO for example but some methods work a lot better than others. I know with Hubby that the carrot is going to get me a lot more than the stick ( the reverse is true with me). These are manipulations but I do not think they are bad or deceitful. Just clever and astute judging of how someone will react to you. Nothing more than common sense really.
I cannot abide women who manipulate men using sex though or men who do the same by pretending to love you when all they want is to get into your panties. That to me is just low. Some women will get pregnant to force a man into marriage for example and I cannot but help thinking how stupud and mindless it is. A man will not love you more because you are pregnant, or become all of a sudden a committed family man. You cannot force Love. Period. If not freely given then it is meaningless at the end of the day.
And sex given to someone under false pretences would to me if I was a man be pretty pathetic too. Imagine only being able to get a woman to want to have sex with you for the wrong reasons. Both types of manipulation to me reek of failures and losers. A man who has to lie to get a woman is basically saying he is nothing without lies, not good enough to stand on his own merits. How incredibly sad is that.
Getting someone in the sack by lying is in essence forcing a woman to have sex against her will in a way. A form of sexual abuse and to me sexual abuse is the resort of the sick, the bully and the pervert.
But yes we humans do use all kinds of little tactics to get our own way. Some of them harmless and others harmful.
All of us want to be liked, loved and desired. To lie to get any of these things is intellectually dishonest and counter-intuitive IMO.
But using little wiles to get your husband /wife to be just a little bit more helpful around the house for example, I really do not see the harm. Basically your learn how to "rub people the right way" through life and I don't mean sexually. That is just part of being a member of any social group. We all need to put our best foot forward , that is perfectly natural as long as you are not actually deceiving others and I suppose deceiving yourself in the same process.
Nobody wants to be tricked or duped into someone's bed or someone's life however. That will have completely the opposite effect I suspect.
I would never ever have dreamed of using sex to get a man to commit to me. Sex isn't something that I take lightly - but more than that - I don't see how having sex with someone would make a guy commit to someone. My college roommate had a ton of one night stands - she kept thinking they would call her the next day. Not one of them did. Sex has nothing to do with commitment. With all 3 of my big relationships - we were already emotionally involved and committed before we had sex.
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You've traveled abroad... Haven't you ever tasted a decent cake?!
