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Child support is really a combination of earnings between BOTH parents. Either parent can have the case reviewed once a year in which non-custodial payment can go up or down depending on who now makes what. It's not uncommon for a custodial parent who becomes unemployed or underemployed to go back to court for more support (as percentages would change). It's also not uncommon for a custodial parent to NOT go back to family court in the instance of a new job or nice pay increase because then again, percentages change and more than likely not in their favor as the non-custodial parents' child support obligation would be decreased on the earning percentages of both parties.
You may have different values, but I think it's the loser's way out to take food from your kids' mouths when they may have very little to begin with. Glad to see this guy has more ethics than some. Going to court to try to pay less when your kids are probably living off pennies as it is? A real man makes sure the five kids he brought into the world aren't going hungry, even if that means he goes with nothing himself. He doesn't go back to court to skimp on their CS.
$60,000 to support one man and five kids? They couldn't have been getting much to begin with. That's five different households that have to be supported, the guy's and the four different households his kids live in. And if that means he doesn't get much of anything at the end? Well, that's why you don't make five kids with four women. It takes money to feed those five kids.
For what it's worth, I don't really care who dates who now. If your five kids are going hungry, your top priority needs to be feeding them, and building back a savings so that if one of them gets sick, you can take care of them. The OP can clearly take care of herself. She questioned whether she should support him financially, and to that, I would answer no, unless he's willing to offer something more than just dating (like marriage.) Otherwise, they take care of their own business until they are ready to make that sort of commitment to each other.
You may have different values, but I think it's the loser's way out to take food from your kids' mouths when they may have very little to begin with. Glad to see this guy has more ethics than some. Going to court to try to pay less when your kids are probably living off pennies as it is? A real man makes sure the five kids he brought into the world aren't going hungry, even if that means he goes with nothing himself. He doesn't go back to court to skimp on their CS.
$60,000 to support one man and five kids? They couldn't have been getting much to begin with. That's five different households that have to be supported, the guy's and the four different households his kids live in. And if that means he doesn't get much of anything at the end? Well, that's why you don't make five kids with four women. It takes money to feed those five kids.
For what it's worth, I don't really care who dates who now. If your five kids are going hungry, your top priority needs to be feeding them, and building back a savings so that if one of them gets sick, you can take care of them. The OP can clearly take care of herself. She questioned whether she should support him financially, and to that, I would answer no, unless he's willing to offer something more than just dating (like marriage.) Otherwise, they take care of their own business until they are ready to make that sort of commitment to each other.
the mothers must be working too. he never was supporting 4 households, but just helping. maybe each got $500/mo. time for food stamps.
the mothers must be working too. he never was supporting 4 households, but just helping. maybe each got $500/mo. time for food stamps.
I would be surprised if they were getting that much per month. In any case, I think the "right" thing to do is to take care of the children you've made, not try to make an easier ride for yourself. No matter how it's cut, him petitioning the court to pay less will result in his kids getting less. It's not like the moms are getting a pay raise out of the equation.
And I think that keeping those kids fed and housed to the absolute best extent he can is far more important than any dates with the OP and far more important than him being comfortable while he searches for a better paying job. It's no different than what any other good parent would do for their children, whether they have 5 or 1, whether they're married to their mom or have 4 different exes. A good man doesn't let his kids go hungry and kudos to the OP for not taking the easy way out.
You may have different values, but I think it's the loser's way out to take food from your kids' mouths when they may have very little to begin with. Glad to see this guy has more ethics than some. Going to court to try to pay less when your kids are probably living off pennies as it is? A real man makes sure the five kids he brought into the world aren't going hungry, even if that means he goes with nothing himself. He doesn't go back to court to skimp on their CS.
$60,000 to support one man and five kids? They couldn't have been getting much to begin with. That's five different households that have to be supported, the guy's and the four different households his kids live in. And if that means he doesn't get much of anything at the end? Well, that's why you don't make five kids with four women. It takes money to feed those five kids.
For what it's worth, I don't really care who dates who now. If your five kids are going hungry, your top priority needs to be feeding them, and building back a savings so that if one of them gets sick, you can take care of them. The OP can clearly take care of herself. She questioned whether she should support him financially, and to that, I would answer no, unless he's willing to offer something more than just dating (like marriage.) Otherwise, they take care of their own business until they are ready to make that sort of commitment to each other.
Not a question of different values, it's a question of you putting this all on him. Those kids have mothers as well which is why courts look at the earnings of both parties and not just one. Each state is different with reference to child support orders and Illinois, is rarely a state that would order a support in which the non-custodial parent cannot keep a roof over their head as you do not have an address. That becomes more detrimental to the child than paying less in support as the non-custodial parent is still required to provide a safe environment for said child(ren) and living on the street does not provide that.
Secondly, what makes you think those 5 kids are going hungry? They could be fat and full for all either of us know. If their mothers are on assistance, odds are they are not seeing all of that child support money to begin with as the state would take a portion of that because they are in the system and receiving public assistance.
What makes you think marriage is an end result for them or anyone for that matter, all she stated is they were in a serious relationship and marriage might not have even been something either of them wanted. Just going by her original post, it appears as though when he made 60k, he had the dough to spend on her over a two year period. She may or may not have indulged him back but probably not. She helped him out 2 months; not a lot for someone you care about esp. if they've been doling out for over two years. It's just not. The guy according to her, didn't want to just sit and receive unemployment so he took a lesser paying job, he takes care of his kids, regardless of the how many he has. He seems to be a responsible father and hard worker and she's basically throwing him under the bus because of a diminished lifestyle.
The most disturbing part is that 5 kids with 4 women is apparently okay. It's not okay, even if he can support them with no problem. The OP is no angel either. She's obviously after the money because it's not a coincedence that since he lost his job, she's thinking about bolting. She obviously wasn't put off by the multiple kids with multiple women part.
To the guy's credit, he obviously has supported his kids and intends to do so. He's working a $9/hr job at IHOP so his kids are taken care of. I'm 100% against his baby momma drama, but I do acknowledge that he has been and is continuing to do the right thing by taking care of his kids.
He was making $60,000 a year at a factory when we started dating 2 years ago. He has 5 kids by 4 women. He was never broke and always made time for me and our relationship has been good so far. The company he worked for closed 4 months ago. He wanted to get back to work right away and has been putting in several applications. He finally got a job as a cook at Ihop. He is making $9.00 an hour now. His savings in gone because he has been paying his bills and child support. He doesn't get paid for two weeks. The job does not pay enough for him to pay all his bills and I have helped out by giving him $400 over the past 2 months to help with his bills. He is depressed because he is not making enough money and I'm tired of helping him with money. I love him but this is a hard situation. Would you break up over money?
I'm a little suspect of the OP, but I'll play along. I have no idea how a person can date someone with 5 kids from 4 different women. Beyond that bizarre decision, of course money is an issue if a person has five kids. Money is always an issue. It's one thing to help a partner in times of crisis. It's another thing to take on 6 individuals. As someone else noted, 60/yr is squat with 5 kids. At $9/hr he's not going to be supporting them. He'll be lucky if he can support himself. So, while he's not able to pay child support, b-days, the holidays, special events will surface and he'll need money. If he has visitation, and I figure he would, then the kids will be over his house. Who will be paying that rent? Who will be providing the food, toiletries, etc? Those are serious issues to consider.
People wonder how someone could date a man with five kids with four different women and a likely answer to me is someone who probably has three kids with two different daddies.
Looking at it from her perspective, I guess that I would be frustrated too if the man that I was involved with had previously made enough to support him and his responsibilities, but now he doesn't even make enough to make ends meet. I think it is a shame that she wants to bail when he has hit a rough patch but we should be honest to admit there are many relationships being strained with the current economic and employment crises. There are even long time married couples who are near divorce because one spouse lost their job and their confidence and the other spouse feels over burdened.
I have helped out by giving him $400 over the past 2 months to help with his bills. He is depressed because he is not making enough money and I'm tired of helping him with money. I love him but this is a hard situation. Would you break up over money?
"I'm tired of helping him with money"
If you read what you yourself wrote I think you will find the answer to your question.
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Hang on to this one! 
