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Fat Freddy -- Today I've laughed out loud at several of your responses on this forum . One of the others had to do with religion, also in the Relationship section. Thanks for making my laugh lines deeper!
It's good to see the deep meaningful relationships some of you have and also so sad to see how shallow some of you are as well. Getting off on your wife's toned body otherwise you would loose interest...married for five years and bored seeing your wife naked. So I guess if any of you got fat and flabby you would understand how your wife wouldn't want to have sex with you anymore and would be fine with that or god forbid you might have a serious illness or an accident that caused you to become disfigured...why should your wife be interested in you anymore..after all...you wouldn't be hot. Hopefully these things won't happen to your wives because if they did it sounds like the door would open and close faster than a speeding bullet with you leaving since she wouldn't be hot or worth showing off anymore and you would definetly be disgusted by her looks and get really bored. Ho hum.
I think the "what if your spouse gets disfigured....." thread is somewhere else, but this is the "when does it start to get old" thread. My wife and are "soulmates" but at the same time, we both are VERY into looking good and keeping ourselves in good physical fitness, even moreso now that we have kids because we want to be around to see our grandkids. But to get back on topic - its not about being shallow, its about being honest with each other and always calling each other out when things start to decline. I like her fit, she likes me fit and together we motivate and keep each other looking good.
Ah yes...there's that depth I was speaking of. Your L.A. is showing especially with the VERY! Somehow ignored the part about what if things fell, got larger or did not look VERY good anymore? That happens as people age...are you ready or will it get old as you get old? Keeping physically fit is the most important thing we can do for each other and our children but that is not what the OP was talking about. Being bored within 3 months of marriage is the issue, not how physically attractive she is or how fit. He already said she was attractive...he's just turned off by her being naked after a short time of being married, but thank's for sharing!
You just got used to the way she looks. Instead of new and exciting, its the same old same.
But there is a deeper seeded problem here as others have stated.
I would go see a shrink if you really love her and want it to work out. Because if left un checked, you'll just grow further and further apart.
And don't you dare tell her she don't turn you on. But try to get her to change something to see if it helps. Like hair length and color. If she shaves, have her not shave a few weeks so its "different" or visa-versa. Not shaved, have her shave.
Or maybe its caused by smell. Maybe her perfume is turning you off. Of her shampoo/soap/lotion or something. Smell is the root of attraction. The Most basic animal instinct of sex is driven by smell and pheromones.
Your 2 chemical make ups could be not compatible also. The perfumes, and good smelly stuff could have been covering up true odors.
Do you like the way she smells if she didn't shower for 3 days and ran 5 miles then hopped into bed? If the answer is no, your chemistry is not compatible.
I think the "what if your spouse gets disfigured....." thread is somewhere else, but this is the "when does it start to get old" thread. My wife and are "soulmates" but at the same time, we both are VERY into looking good and keeping ourselves in good physical fitness, even moreso now that we have kids because we want to be around to see our grandkids. But to get back on topic - its not about being shallow, its about being honest with each other and always calling each other out when things start to decline. I like her fit, she likes me fit and together we motivate and keep each other looking good.
I agree with you 100%. I don't understand the mentality that it is somehow shallow to take care of yourself and prioritize good health and good looks! How is taking care of your body and being responsible with your lifelong health anything but an important part of life? It's important to my husband and I and we belive a couple that works out together, stays together! It is definitely an important part of my marriage, and we are setting a good example for our daughter.
There are women at my gym in their 60's, with the health, vitality and bodies of women half their age! That is living life to the fullest in my opinion. They have the energy to keep up with their grand children and do not use the excuse of old age to slow them down. Their is nothing shallow about that- old age is inevitable, but becoming overweight and unhealthy is not.
I believe "letting things go" and "aging" and other excuses people use are all reasons why sex may dwindle or there may be less attraction as the years go by in marriages.
I don't understand the mentality that it is somehow shallow to take care of yourself and prioritize good health and good looks!
Because many people view that as vain, narcissistic, and selfish. Because looks are eventually fleeting and good health is not only obtained by hours at the gym. Because for some money spent on fancy spa treatments and uber-hip foods in the name of health is better spent at Kiva - Loans that change lives or someplace else helping others, or saved and invested for a rainy day. Because time and energey spent on such things is less time available to spend with others in life who bring us joy. Because the earnestness and seriousness (often accompanied by an implicit superiority complex) with which many health adherents pursue their lives is off-putting to many. Because to some, eating with abandon and enjoying some (many? all?) of life's vices is a part of enjoying much of what life has to offer.
I don't understand the mentality that it is somehow shallow to take care of yourself and prioritize good health and good looks!
I'll never understand this either. Maybe this is something that those who have let themselves become obese, out of shape or in poor health say to help themselves feel better about the state of their current health. Maybe this is something that those who are considered unattractive or have difficulty in finding anyone who would want to be with them say to make themselves feel better about being alone. Maybe its something that old people say because they have lived most of their lives and their kids have all moved out and their spouses have died and now since they have to live alone with their cats they have attained the wisdom to understand how important companionship is (ANY companionship).
If wanting to be in good health ourselves and our family is considered shallow then I guess the wife and I are just that. I enjoy working out just like some others may enjoy macrome or crochet - the only difference is I get a huge health benefit from working out. I enjoy working out like others enjoy putting together scrap books of their grandchildren - the only difference is, I get a health benefit.
i havnt got married yet but i always imagined that i would want to be sexually active my whole life. I understand you eventually get out of your honeymoon stage and not worry about how much sex your getting but something is very wrong if you see your loved one naked and not even get slightly interested. are you gay??
Thanks for getting back to the original question ryane06. I was beginning to forget who started this thread
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. One of the others had to do with religion, also in the Relationship section. Thanks for making my laugh lines deeper!
