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For one, what would have been wrong with telling him "exactly" why you were cancelling? I think most people would have understood that. Instead you just said that something came up and I have to cancel.
Secondly, you didn't help the situation by basically outlieing the next two days as no no's..I mean if I was him, I would have felt blown off too. In his eyes you are not only blowing him off three hours before the date (which most likely he was really looking forward too) but then tomorrows no good either, and the next day. What do you think this guy is supposed to think? Perhaps if the shoe was on the other foot you would see things a bit different. He probably figured you weren't interested (changed your mind) and was trying to let him down nicely. Besides, it seems like getting together was only going to be convenient for you. What if he had plans on the one day you were available? Just saying. Didn't seem to be much compromise on your part. Why not change the date for a little later that day or night. Do you and your mother cook all day and night...With stage 3 cancer she must be tired and not up for going to long...Just saying.
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I have to say I agree with this. I dont think FULLY explaining your situation is 'giving up too much info' about your life. She may have found that he had a sick parent for a while too, and that could have been something they had in common, and could bond more because of it. As someone who is an only child, and has an 87 yr old mother who has had some serious sicknessness, I can relate to someone caring for their parent. As a matter of fact, that wins points with me. So, to me, canceling on someone with only 3 hours to go before the date deserves a full explantion, not "something came up". And if she had taken the time to explain the situation, and how she felt about not knowing how long she may have with her mom, she may have found that might have touched the guy's heart, and he may have viewed her as a nuturing, family oriented person. Something that some guys look for.
Then, she should have explained how much she looked forward to spending time together, and could they please right now set up another date. Then she should have said what days are good/bad for you, and worked around her schedule also, and picked another date day. I feel if you are the one breaking a first date so close to the date time, you should be the one being a bit more humble about how you act when breaking the news and setting another date. This guy probably felt like he was just getting blown off again. He didnt handle it the right way, no, but neither did she. His reaction may not have been normally how he reacts, but like someone said, he may have had his share of 'something came up' from women, and just had a bad day and responded badly. We shall never know now.
And i just have to say, I cant understand the 'its not his bussiness' posts. Sheez. Im online with you guys telling you right now that my mom fell two weeks ago and fractured her arm. She is 87 yrs old. Now, I just told you that. But, who cares? Why is my telling you that such a huge secret??
If I had not gone on a date with a man yet, then he hardly knows squat about me anyway. All we are doing so far is just talking on phone. I wouldnt be telling him my moms name, date of birth and social security number, and bank account info. I'd merely be saying my elderly mom fell and fractured her arm. To me anyone you are canceling on with 3 hours to go (sorry..might as well be 1 hr to go) deserves a full explanation.
You have GOT to know that they are gonna feel like they are getting the big blow off. I dunno..im just more sensitive to people's feelings in things like that.
I have to say I agree with this. I dont think FULLY explaining your situation is 'giving up too much info' about your life. She may have found that he had a sick parent for a while too, and that could have been something they had in common, and could bond more because of it. As someone who is an only child, and has an 87 yr old mother who has had some serious sicknessness, I can relate to someone caring for their parent. As a matter of fact, that wins points with me. So, to me, canceling on someone with only 3 hours to go before the date deserves a full explantion, not "something came up". And if she had taken the time to explain the situation, and how she felt about not knowing how long she may have with her mom, she may have found that might have touched the guy's heart, and he may have viewed her as a nuturing, family oriented person. Something that some guys look for.
Then, she should have explained how much she looked forward to spending time together, and could they please right now set up another date. Then she should have said what days are good/bad for you, and worked around her schedule also, and picked another date day. I feel if you are the one breaking a first date so close to the date time, you should be the one being a bit more humble about how you act when breaking the news and setting another date. This guy probably felt like he was just getting blown off again. He didnt handle it the right way, no, but neither did she. His reaction may not have been normally how he reacts, but like someone said, he may have had his share of 'something came up' from women, and just had a bad day and responded badly. We shall never know now.
Great second points. I like that about how he might have felt more for her for seeing that caring nurturing side if she had taken the time to give an explanation..Great post.
Who knows. Maybe (and I'm not excusing his behavior) this was like the third, fourth, fifth time that this has happened to him lately. People "will" jump to conclusions when given no information. It is human nature. If she would have said the reason why, he more than likely would have understood. But left to our own crazy thoughts (especially when it comes to dating) we can and will often thing very negative about a persons intentions. Weather we're right or wrong.
This is my favorite forum because it reestablishes my thoughts and opinions on how women think and operate. The more you know the easier things are. I do more reading than posting in the Relationship forum. This is a fun place for a man like me.
This is my favorite forum because it reestablishes my thoughts and opinions on how women think and operate. The more you know the easier things are. I do more reading than posting in the Relationship forum. This is a fun place for a man like me.
It re-establishes because that is what you are looking for and want. You emphasize what you already thought, vs. women who said the poster was wrong in her own right.
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