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Old 10-29-2011, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Bellingham, WA
8,894 posts, read 7,114,541 times
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I've only been with two people, both dumped me, and both times it was due to me (apparently) not showing enough compassion/emotion/whatever. And I don't mind admitting they were probably right. That bad thing is, I'm probably worse about that now!

Incidentally, when the first dumped me I was also contemplating dumping her. The relationship simply was not working in any way, and it wasn't all my fault. The second I saw coming but didn't know how to stop it, and certainly didn't want it to end.
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Old 10-29-2011, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Austin, Texas
2,756 posts, read 3,250,461 times
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It cracks me up how hard it is for some people to admit to being "dumpees" sometime in their past. Women, I've found are especially loathe to admit to being kicked to the curb. They're usually uber-careful to ensure that we know they were dumped only because of a character flaw the man posessed.
Anyway: Me? I have absolutely no problem in admitting to being given the heave-ho several times in my glorious and tempestuous past history with the fairer sex. Some of the reasons were, but not limited to:

Bad table manners; especially eating with my hands. Things that usually require cutlery. You know, like peas.

Rampant infidelity (though I must say: said infidelity was always with a mere gf; I never cheated on either my 1st or 2nd wife.)

Inability to commit to a longterm, meaningful relatoinship. (As witnessed, I reckon, by reason #2 above.)

Punching-out the soon-to-be-dumper's brother at their own house one time because I brought her home late and he started barking at her to do her chores, like he was her Dad or something. He was also showing me gross discourtesy, like a jealous husband or something. I threw him into a glass coffee table.

Forgetting a "one year since we first met" anniversery. Jeez.

Standing her up for a concert she had been looking forward to for months because I passed out after drinking beer and playing hoops all day with my mates.

Not liking, and in fact despising and ridiculing, a movie she loved that she made me take her to see. I believe it was "Tess of the Dubervilles."

OK, OK, I admit it: back then I was no day at the beach.

Last edited by DrummerBoy; 10-29-2011 at 12:10 PM..
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Old 10-29-2011, 12:13 PM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,648,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrummerBoy View Post
It cracks me up how hard it is for some people to admit to being "dumpees" sometime in their past. Women, I've found are especially loathe to admit to being kicked to the curb. They're usually uber-careful to ensure that we know they were dumped only because of a character flaw the man posessed.
Maybe. But also, there is a considerable number of men out there who know a relationship is no good, but instead of breaking up with the woman, act like a complete jerk and eventually she does the dumping. They don't want to do the dirty work because a) they don't want to deal with the emotional fallout of the confrontation (ie, they are uncomfortable with women crying) and b) they'd just as soon get laid for as long as they can.

I can't remember much, myself. I'm 45, and the last time I was dumped, I was in my 20s, so details are hazy. I mean, I'm sure it happened at some point, and there were reasons relationships didn't work out, but usually it was mutual or I was the one who officially ended it. The last fellow I dated before I met my ex-husband was Jewish and I was Catholic at the time, so that was a big problem--for him, not me--but again, I was the official breaker-upper. After my divorce, I didn't really have any relationships until I met my SO. Dates, sure, but no more than two or three before either I declined another or the man didn't ask for another, neither of which I consider "dumping" because there was no established relationship, no "we" to break up into "you and I."
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Old 10-29-2011, 12:53 PM
 
Location: USA
9,655 posts, read 5,088,423 times
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Originally Posted by penguin_kernel View Post
Long time ago I got dumped cause I told my g/f that id rather finish myself off to porn then let her do it
I have split it off with more than one woman over sexual incompatibility. While they thought of theirselves as being adventurous because they would try more than 2 positions I was thinking to my self "This is only going to get worse with time".
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Old 10-29-2011, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,286,553 times
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One time I was dumped for not being active enough. Seemed weird. But I went out and got involved in every activity I could think of ha ha. We just weren't compatible but my ego did not like that I was one who got the boot. It was in college and I think I made myself feel better at the moment by rebound dating. Actually I ended up marrying his faternity brother! That'll teach him.

Word to the wise: Don't mix emotional immaturity with a relationship!
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Old 10-29-2011, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 14,212,808 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
One time I was dumped for not being active enough. Seemed weird. But I went out and got involved in every activity I could think of ha ha. We just weren't compatible but my ego did not like that I was one who got the boot. It was in college and I think I made myself feel better at the moment by rebound dating. Actually I ended up marrying his faternity brother! That'll teach him.

Word to the wise: Don't mix emotional immaturity with a relationship!
Is that a way of saying you got dumped coz you were fat?
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Old 10-29-2011, 01:19 PM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,648,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Is that a way of saying you got dumped coz you were fat?


Mr. AC, I'll have you know that I was one drinkin', partyin', lazy little lady in college and never weighed more than 109 pounds. At 5'4" that is a skinny Minnie. "Not active" does not necessarily mean "fat."

Harumph.
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Old 10-29-2011, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 14,212,808 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post


Mr. AC, I'll have you know that I was one drinkin', partyin', lazy little lady in college and never weighed more than 109 pounds. At 5'4" that is a skinny Minnie. "Not active" does not necessarily mean "fat."

Harumph.
You must have been hot back in the day a la "Ghost" Demi Moore
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Old 10-29-2011, 01:27 PM
 
7,508 posts, read 2,111,822 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrummerBoy View Post
It cracks me up how hard it is for some people to admit to being "dumpees" sometime in their past. Women, I've found are especially loathe to admit to being kicked to the curb. They're usually uber-careful to ensure that we know they were dumped only because of a character flaw the man posessed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post
Maybe. But also, there is a considerable number of men out there who know a relationship is no good, but instead of breaking up with the woman, act like a complete jerk and eventually she does the dumping. They don't want to do the dirty work because a) they don't want to deal with the emotional fallout of the confrontation (ie, they are uncomfortable with women crying) and b) they'd just as soon get laid for as long as they can.
Thank you! This is so true in my case. Instead of telling me the truth, he acted like a jerk and made up a lot of excuses. One of the Five Language of Apology is responsibility, and it is easier for me to accept the break up if he owe up to his responsibility but he did not. He acted like a jerk and that scar my emotions. IMO acting like a jerk is one of the worse way to handle break ups.
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Old 10-29-2011, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,286,553 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Is that a way of saying you got dumped coz you were fat?
I wasn't as "adventurous" as he was.
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