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First of all, you should never have to accept someone groping you or kissing you. That's sexual assault.
That aside, there is something "wrong" with you and I don't mean it badly but the feelings, or lack thereof, that you experience indicate some sort of disorder. Glad you're interested in checking it out to better understand yourself.
Curious, what do you do to "amplify" your feelings? It sounds like you put yourself in social situations with friends that you don't want to be in. That isn't who you are. I would also stay away from socializing in bars because if you're confused about why other people act and say certain things, that is only going to be made worse by alcohol consumption on their part or yours.
I know what the feeling is, I just act out what I think would appropriately fit the situation and the emotion. It's hard to explain. The only way I can describe it is to compare it to physical pain (something I am very familiar with). When I snapped my arm in half, I was in absolute agony. I howled until my throat was sore and was absolutely terrified of what my body was going through. I didn't have to think that, "well this hurts so I should scream", I screamed. However, when I'm out and about and a friend does something nice for me, I have to take a second and cogitate the appropriate response to that kindness. I know that this benefits me and it was due to unnecessary effort on their part so I try to reciprocate their effort in kind. Innately, I am appreciative but the emotion isn't strong enough for me to really express anything without actively thinking about it.
Dexter is actually a very cool guy, serial killer compulsion aside. He doesn't have feelings like others (hence the term "sociopath"), but is able to function because he has learned to mimic acceptable behavior, even if he doesn't feel it. He does know right from wrong even though he doesn't have normal feelings and is not able to control his compulsion to kill. He's had to learn how to channel that compulsion in a way that will minimize innocent people from being hurt by him and also minimize his chances of getting caught. So he lives by a 'code' that was taught to him.
Watch the first few episodes of Dexter when he talks about how he doesn't relate to what others feel and he doesn't get the point of romance and relationships like that. Now put aside the killing thing in Dexter and reread what the OP said in his posts and think about how Dexter describes his dealings with others, friends, women, etc.
What the OP describes in his posts easily fits the exposition and dialog as seen in those first few Dexter episodes, which is why it immediately came to my mind.
I don't know. Dexter seems to have a thing for his son. Maybe it's supposed to be due to paternal instincts, but it would be surprising if a sociopath cared about anybody.
I've actually read the first couple of the Dexter books that the show is based on, and TV Dexter has been made more warm and fuzzy than Book Dexter to be palatable to the TV audience. A true sociopath would know how to cope, but wouldn't suddenly develop feelings.
I specifically said I was confused and baffled by it, not repulsed. I have also rolled with a woman at the bar once to see if it was something I would like. That is also the first time I've ever heard of "asexual."
stackvar, you are definitely outside the norm. You are also very young. You've been given a ton of input to mull over and all the rest is up to you. You may always be a bit of an outsider where the masses are concerned and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, in order to muddle through the proscribed three score years and ten, you have to learn how to mingle with the masses and observe the social norms which guide their lives.
As I said earlier, your tearing up the woman's telephone number in front of your friends was totally unnecessary and was something that a drama queen would do for effect. You have to find a way to blend in with people ... Good luck.
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