Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have an acquaintance whose husband is 11 years older than she is. They met when she was 15 years old and he was her youth group leader. They were married when she turned 18. She is now 26, he is 37.
I've thought from day one that he was a pedophile. I'm an assistant youth leader at my church, and we have children that are 15. I cannot imagine an adult looking at these children and being attracted to them in a romantic way. I also cannot imagine what they could possibly have had in common - the kids I know are into facebook, twitter, Taylor Swift, Twilight, etc. Not stuff regular adults care about.
The couple have two daughters, and I wonder what he will think about them as they grow into teenagers.
What are y'all's thoughts? Is he a pedophile, or is this just an example of a totally inappropriate relationship? Did he violate the trust given to him through the church, to lead these children?
Pedophile: an adult who is sexually attracted to young children.
15 years old is not a young child.
If there was a romantic or sexual relationship going on when the girl was 15, then it was truly inappropriate and would be considered statuatory rape in some cases.
Now that they are adults, 11 years apart is not that big of a deal.
When I was 15/16 I was "flirted with" by a good number of men under 30. In fact, when I was between 13-16, some good friends of my parents were very good to me. The husband, who was 30 at the time, always took a special interest in me, bought me presents when he went on travel, let me listen to extensive music collection, and hung out with me. I pretty much had a crush on him. He totally behaved himself. If he had been 'available' when I became an adult at 18, I would have definitely gone out with him.
I have an acquaintance whose husband is 11 years older than she is. They met when she was 15 years old and he was her youth group leader. They were married when she turned 18. She is now 26, he is 37.
I've thought from day one that he was a pedophile. I'm an assistant youth leader at my church, and we have children that are 15. I cannot imagine an adult looking at these children and being attracted to them in a romantic way. I also cannot imagine what they could possibly have had in common - the kids I know are into facebook, twitter, Taylor Swift, Twilight, etc. Not stuff regular adults care about.
The couple have two daughters, and I wonder what he will think about them as they grow into teenagers.
What are y'all's thoughts? Is he a pedophile, or is this just an example of a totally inappropriate relationship? Did he violate the trust given to him through the church, to lead these children?
I don't know, I guess if they were having sex when she was under age then he would be considered a pedophile, I would probably have to know them to have a opinion.
I have an acquaintance whose husband is 11 years older than she is. They met when she was 15 years old and he was her youth group leader. They were married when she turned 18. She is now 26, he is 37.
I've thought from day one that he was a pedophile. I'm an assistant youth leader at my church, and we have children that are 15. I cannot imagine an adult looking at these children and being attracted to them in a romantic way. I also cannot imagine what they could possibly have had in common - the kids I know are into facebook, twitter, Taylor Swift, Twilight, etc. Not stuff regular adults care about.
The couple have two daughters, and I wonder what he will think about them as they grow into teenagers.
What are y'all's thoughts? Is he a pedophile, or is this just an example of a totally inappropriate relationship? Did he violate the trust given to him through the church, to lead these children?
Hard question. I think you really need to cool it. My daughter had a crush on her youth minister, but I am absolutely certain that nothing happened (My wife reserves the right to read text messages and FB messages. Trust but verify).
I realize that we're thinking about this in the wake of the Penn State scandal, so we are acutely aware of not letting a potential molester slide. But unless you are actually seeing inappropriate behavior or actually have someone tell you, "Mr. Jones was touching me in the wrong place," then you need to stay out of it. It's okay to be watchful. But it's not okay to do anything else. And that includes spreading gossip. Peoples' lives are at stake here.
Hard question. I think you really need to cool it. My daughter had a crush on her youth minister, but I am absolutely certain that nothing happened (My wife reserves the right to read text messages and FB messages. Trust but verify).
I realize that we're thinking about this in the wake of the Penn State scandal, so we are acutely aware of not letting a potential molester slide. But unless you are actually seeing inappropriate behavior or actually have someone tell you, "Mr. Jones was touching me in the wrong place," then you need to stay out of it. It's okay to be watchful. But it's not okay to do anything else. And that includes spreading gossip. Peoples' lives are at stake here.
I need to cool what, exactly? I'm just looking for opinions, and it appears you misread my OP. The person in question is now an adult, and married to the guy who was her youth group leader. They had a relationship (romantic and sexual), starting when she was 15 and he was 26. I consider him a pedophile, and am curious what others' opinions are.
I'm not looking for advice on where to stick my nose or not. These people are married now and are both adults. I'm simply looking to have a conversation. I originally posted this in the politics and other controversies forum, and I think I'd get a better discussion there. Really has nothing to do with relationships.
What made you think "from day one" that he was a pedophile? Was his behavior different than others?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
