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My stepmother who is 8 years older than me told me that a minister friend of hers needed a place to live and someone to watch his children while he worked. I had never met this man but told her that him and his children could move into my house as my house is big and it is only my son, his wife, and myself here, so there is plenty of room. So he says him and the children will move in the next day. That night he called and said that he had been praying that God would send him a wife and a mother for his children, and that God had told him that I was the one that God had sent to him. The next morning (the day he was to move in), my stepmother called and told me that he had told her the same thing he had told me the night before and that I shouldn't let him move in. So I told him not to contact me anymore, he said okay.
For 3 days I did not hear from him. Then he texts me to say that he knew she had put me up to it, and that she was jealous of me and not to listen to her. Well, I know that several times she has claimed that someone was inappropriate with her and it turned out that she had misinterpreted something that someone had said or done. Since I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, I sadi okay that him and his children could move in.
Then he insists that he will sleep in my bed (not upstairs like we had originally agreed on), and that we will be married as soon as he gets his divorce. He is 10 years younger than me, and when I pointed that out to him, he said he was ready for a mature woman after having 5 wives that didn't work out, and that he was impressed that I had been married to my husband for 35 years (husband passed away a year ago). He also said that he was the best and that there wasn't a woman in the world that wouldn't die to get in bed with him, but he didn't want any woman he wanted me because I wasn't interested in what was between his legs like other women.
I told him they could live here but not sleep with me. He said okay that they would move in the next day. So he calls me the next morning and pressures me about sleeping in my bed with me. When I told him no, he backed out of moving in.
two weeks later, he calls to say that they desperately need a place to stay and that he is willing to stay upstairs. He was supposed to move in this Friday. Tonight he again asked if he could sleep in my bed and us be intimate. I told him no. So he sends a text telling me that he will not be moving in Friday and goodbye.
Am I wrong? He made me feel llike I was the one doing wrong because he couldn't call the shots. I have still not met him. My only contact with him has been through phone calls and texts. He told me what a bad person I am because I won't let him be intimate with me, but yet I am being intimate with another man, and that he won't subject his children to such a vile woman as me. I told him I had a boyfriend that spends the night with me sometimes, and he told me I had to get rid of the boy friend because he didn't want me cheating, that I was his because God said so. Funny, God never told me that.
I have a question for you?
Why are you allowing this "man" of god to dictate how you feel, act and the decisions you make to lead you to feel guilty?
I have read your post...
And I will state the following..
1. He bad mouthed your step mom after she initially led him to you
2.Without "Knowing" you he has fabricated this theory that "YOU" are meant for him because the good lord told this to him'
3. He has had not one but 5 WIVES one of which he is "going to" divorce
4. He a man of god and still technically married has already "demanded" that he take his place in your bedroom and be intimate with you?
5. He has been chastising you and making you feel like a ***** by stating that YOU are in the wrong for stating that you did not agree for him to share your bed because you a single woman are having relations with another man?
What am I not seeing? Missing?
This man is a nut job..
First of all really? Using god? stating that he a married man was meant to be with you? Really? A miraculous epiphany that he had yet he has been married 5 times?
To calling you a vile woman that he would not want his kids to meet because you are sleeping with your boyfriend?
You have nothing to feel guilty for..but you do need to be thankful that he is no longer in your life..
I have a question for you?
Why are you allowing this "man" of god to dictate how you feel, act and the decisions you make to lead you to feel guilty?
I have read your post...
And I will state the following..
1. He bad mouthed your step mom after she initially led him to you
2.Without "Knowing" you he has fabricated this theory that "YOU" are meant for him because the good lord told this to him'
3. He has had not one but 5 WIVES one of which he is "going to" divorce
4. He a man of god and still technically married has already "demanded" that he take his place in your bedroom and be intimate with you?
5. He has been chastising you and making you feel like a ***** by stating that YOU are in the wrong for stating that you did not agree for him to share your bed because you a single woman are having relations with another man?
What am I not seeing? Missing?
This man is a nut job..
First of all really? Using god? stating that he a married man was meant to be with you? Really? A miraculous epiphany that he had yet he has been married 5 times?
To calling you a vile woman that he would not want his kids to meet because you are sleeping with your boyfriend?
You have nothing to feel guilty for..but you do need to be thankful that he is no longer in your life..
He is a very smooth talker. He made me feel bad because I have been sleeping with a man only a year after my husband's death. But I did not go looking for anyone, and I can't help how I feel about my boy friend.
I don't think you are missing anything. I just think this man is manipulative. I also think he should remove himself from the pulpit. My son thinks he wants to move in and be intimate with me so he can get my house. Since my home is paid for and worth something.
I don't know why you even talked to him after your first conversation with him. No offense but you had better educate yourself real quick on how not to be scammed or victimized. Your situation is the weirdest thing I have ever read in this forum.
Then he insists that he will sleep in my bed (not upstairs like we had originally agreed on), and that we will be married as soon as he gets his divorce. He is 10 years younger than me, and when I pointed that out to him, he said he was ready for a mature woman after having 5 wives that didn't work out, and that he was impressed that I had been married to my husband for 35 years (husband passed away a year ago). He also said that he was the best and that there wasn't a woman in the world that wouldn't die to get in bed with him, but he didn't want any woman he wanted me because I wasn't interested in what was between his legs like other women.
I told him they could live here
Am I clear on the fact that you had never met this person before having this conversation? Is this a true story OP?
Here is my opinion, as an ex-abused wife. I make no claims to be an expert, I am only offering my opinion. You need to get some professional help for yourself, to understand why you even considered letting someone move in that you had never even met. I do think if you went to your local abuse agency, and told them what you have written here, they would be able to offer you a professional opinion. My opinion is this;You also need to totally ignore this man's calls, texts, hey change your number if you can't keep yourself from responding. Response is what he wants, he wants to manipulate you, and you are feeding that sick behavior by responding. This is a very scarey person, I am so sorry to hear that he has 5 children, this is not healthy. If what you say is true, he is manipulating you, and possibly others. I do not mean to sound harsh, I really want you to get help, what you were/are considering to say the least, is in very poor judgement. In my opinion What he is doing is bordering on criminal, if it continues there are stalking laws. But, do not keep giving this person mixed messages, do not talk to him, do not respond to him. Eventually he will go away to find his next potential victim. Remember No, means NO! I know nothing about your personal situation, but I am offering my opinion simply as an observer to your question. Peace
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