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Unread 12-11-2011, 05:37 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,274 posts, read 12,967,364 times
Reputation: 21504
My son`s middle name is my ex`s first name.
I remarried, and he does not have an issue with it, although I don`t go around using it everyday either. Even if I did, its what it is, ya` know?
He would either have to get over it, or move on because I`m sure in the hell not gonna change his name, because he has a problem with it.
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Unread 12-11-2011, 06:20 PM
 
1,586 posts, read 1,065,499 times
Reputation: 2445
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Way too overly sensitive, and not ready for a relationship with a single parent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post
You are being MUCH too sensitive.

He had a life before you. If you are so insecure that you make an issue of his daughter's name, he'll have a life after you, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
Yeah, that's waaaay too much overboard. It is the girl's name and that's overstepping any boundaries to not allow him to call his daughter a name.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleecya View Post
No, you are being overly sensitive. Everyone that has an ex that has spent a great deal of time with them or produced a child ( that child will always be a constant reminder of the union that they once had, based on how the child favors a bit of both parents in demeanor or looks) will talk about them from time to time. I have a question do you feel insecure with your relationship because that is want it sounds like, based on your reaction to him calling his daughter by her full name. Usually, there is a hidden issue that is the underlining cause when we are hurt by something that a SO does/ says. The issue could be some sense of inadequacy with how he feels about you or your self esteem or your comparison with yourself to his ex. The more you press him with your need for reassurance that you hold a special place in his heart, it will drive him away. He is going to see it as if you are constantly picking a fight, instead of seeing what is causing your discomfort, most guys wont see that you need reassurance about your relationship. Men think simply, I am with you, I give you my time and if I did not want to be with you I wouldn't be, (they think) why doesn't she see that
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trackwatch View Post
He must cut all contact with this daughter because every time he sees her it reminds him of his ex and the relationship they had together.

Either that or you get over it.
Had to stop quoting or i'd have used up all of CDs bandwidth.... I agree with the above posts wholeheartedly
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Unread 12-11-2011, 06:30 PM
 
Location: a fantasy world
3,997 posts, read 4,127,508 times
Reputation: 3450
Chances are, the woman who gave birth to his daughter also had a role in naming the child. Not just him. I assume she's named after her mother?

I can't get over how childish this is...
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Unread 12-16-2011, 05:31 PM
 
455 posts, read 255,112 times
Reputation: 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
If the child's middle name is part of her name that she goes by (as our OP reported) he can't just stop calling his daughter what he's always called her

How about respect for THE CHILD that was there well before this little girlfriend?

He is not "bringing up" anything or failing to "let go of the past" - he is just calling his child her name.
Oh ok, thanks for clearing that up!
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Unread 12-17-2011, 06:25 AM
 
7,892 posts, read 5,351,955 times
Reputation: 8056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delta-SSiPP View Post
I don't think she is, as a man i wouldn't do that, just bring up a woman from my past unless something was asked about that person! I don't think she's being insecure either, it's called respect people, and far as the childs middle name it is what it is but to bring this woman up is not cool, how can you move forward with someone and a person can't let go of the past!
This is the man's daughter. It is her given name. This Girl needs to get a grip. If the man calling his lil girl her full name is an issue, there is no way she is ready for an adult relationship w/ a single, divorced parent. There are so many more issues to come in any divorce, child-rearing relationship for many years. This is beyond PETTY. Her behavior is childish. I hope he finds a better relationship, for his and his daughter's sake.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Peoples Republic of Cali
9,194 posts, read 4,188,537 times
Reputation: 4972
Yeah, what they say
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Unread 12-17-2011, 03:50 PM
 
631 posts, read 407,735 times
Reputation: 811
Too sensitive? Yes, yes and yes. The child will always be in your SO's life and so will her mom, at some level. If you can't deal with that you may want to look for a SO without children. I would be happy that he is in his daughter's life.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 04:12 PM
 
4,040 posts, read 869,384 times
Reputation: 936
Quote:
Originally Posted by ppsyout View Post
My bf has a daughter let's say named Ally, her middle name is Terry which is also his ex's first name.( he gave her the middle name, a fond way to show his love to the ex i guess).

He calls the daughter Ally Terry all the time which got me really uncomfortable, it feels like a reminder of the love they had before.( Because my bf always try to picture his ex as a perfect woman and mention her name from time to time).

I talk to bf about this and he thinks I pick up fights for nothing. Am I being overly sensitive? Should I not be bothered by this?
You're being too sensitive about the daughter's name, But you might have a legit beef about the part bolded.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 04:35 PM
 
Location: The Present
1,981 posts, read 1,737,336 times
Reputation: 1815
Quote:
Originally Posted by ppsyout View Post
My bf has a daughter let's say named Ally, her middle name is Terry which is also his ex's first name.( he gave her the middle name, a fond way to show his love to the ex i guess).

He calls the daughter Ally Terry all the time which got me really uncomfortable, it feels like a reminder of the love they had before.( Because my bf always try to picture his ex as a perfect woman and mention her name from time to time).

I talk to bf about this and he thinks I pick up fights for nothing. Am I being overly sensitive? Should I not be bothered by this?
I didn't bother reading any of the replies because I know there's a quick way to solve this problem.

Don't date anyone with kids.
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Unread 12-17-2011, 04:36 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,398,226 times
Reputation: 6058
Too sensitive ?

I thought pathetic was more fitting.
I think you should break up now and save you and him a lot of drama.
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