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This person could be hiding from something or someone, maybe running away from another life, or another identity?
On the other hand, we may know everyone on CD better than we know a stranger, and there is little or no chance of them visiting us, but do we tell them where we live?
There is also the question of shame, one can, for a number of reasons, feel ashamed of their residence, and/or situation.
Some of us are just, very, very, private individuals.
I was at a conference today and ended up talking to two women. After we'd been talking shop for a bit, the subject turned to kitchen gadgets. One of the women told us that when she moved to the area, she had to downsize to a smaller place and had to get rid of a lot of stuff, including some kitchen gadgets.
I asked her, innocently I thought, where she had moved to in our area. She and the other woman got a weird look on their faces, like I'd just said something inappropriate. She stammered a little and then she told me. It turns out that I had lived in the same area and I went on to say how much I enjoyed that neighborhood and all the good things about it. I then got pulled away by someone I knew and never saw the two women again.
I asked her because I was trying to find something in common to talk about, not because I was planning to show up there and rob the place. I didn't ask for the exact address...
So, I ask you. Do a lot of people find it weird or inappropriate when asked where they live when in casual conversations?
Maybe if you had just met, they weren't sure if you were a serial killer or not. Sounds pretty reasonable to me.
I was at a conference today and ended up talking to two women. After we'd been talking shop for a bit, the subject turned to kitchen gadgets. One of the women told us that when she moved to the area, she had to downsize to a smaller place and had to get rid of a lot of stuff, including some kitchen gadgets.
I asked her, innocently I thought, where she had moved to in our area. She and the other woman got a weird look on their faces, like I'd just said something inappropriate. She stammered a little and then she told me. It turns out that I had lived in the same area and I went on to say how much I enjoyed that neighborhood and all the good things about it. I then got pulled away by someone I knew and never saw the two women again.
I asked her because I was trying to find something in common to talk about, not because I was planning to show up there and rob the place. I didn't ask for the exact address...
So, I ask you. Do a lot of people find it weird or inappropriate when asked where they live when in casual conversations?
I live in a major metropolitan area, and yes, people in general, are very wary about having acquaintances, and strangers ask them "where they live" given any circumstance.
I was at a conference today and ended up talking to two women. After we'd been talking shop for a bit, the subject turned to kitchen gadgets. One of the women told us that when she moved to the area, she had to downsize to a smaller place and had to get rid of a lot of stuff, including some kitchen gadgets.
I asked her, innocently I thought, where she had moved to in our area. She and the other woman got a weird look on their faces, like I'd just said something inappropriate. She stammered a little and then she told me. It turns out that I had lived in the same area and I went on to say how much I enjoyed that neighborhood and all the good things about it. I then got pulled away by someone I knew and never saw the two women again.
I asked her because I was trying to find something in common to talk about, not because I was planning to show up there and rob the place. I didn't ask for the exact address...
So, I ask you. Do a lot of people find it weird or inappropriate when asked where they live when in casual conversations?
I think the woman overreacted. If she didn't want to share her location with you, all she needed to say was, "I'd rather not say." There was no reason for her to make a big deal of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xiansheng_g
I live in a major metropolitan area, and yes, people in general, are very wary about having acquaintances, and strangers ask them "where they live" given any circumstance.
In my area (just over an hour from downtown Chicago) it is quite common for people who've just met to ask where each other lives. I always answer, "I live in Valpo, in the old section, not far from the courthouse square." It's a general vicinity.
I can understand and respect some people's desire to remain very private, though. That is their business. I still find it odd that someone would get all flustered when asked where they live. Just tell the inquirer, "I'd rather not say."
OP, in my opinion, you did nothing wrong.
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...In my area (just over an hour from downtown Chicago) it is quite common for people who've just met to ask where each other lives. I always answer, "I live in Valpo, in the old section, not far from the courthouse square.".
You're from (kind of sorta) the Midwest, and the folks are very trusting there compared to the denizens where I live: about twenty five years ago, my pals and I were bicycling around town and stopped at one of the local parks for refreshments. As we were shipping our drinks, a young lady approached us, and asked us "where we were from," and "did we know the direction to such-and-such place." Our immediate reaction to her query was to reach for our wallets, followed by a quick scan of the immediate area. My buds, and I thought we were going to be the victims of a robbery, and of course, after we realized that her query was not malicious, we laughed about our collective reactions and asked her "where are you from?" She said Chicago, and we advised her that "it's not a good idea to walk up to strangers and ask questions in this part of the USA." Here reply was, "...but we do that all the time in Chicago."
That question on gives me a weird feeling if its asked by the opposite sex. But even then I just say the neighborhood unless I am really comfortable with the person.
I agree with this, especially when I lived alone. I live in a city that is very spread out. So when someone asks the question, it's normally referring to side of town. I have no problem giving that information out. But then, someone might say "Where on the Southside?" Then, I get uncomfortable if it's someone that I just met. Call me paranoid, but with the amount of crime out there today, better safe than sorry.
I hate when people I don't know well ask me where I live. I don't know why...maybe in part because I am a very private person. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.
I've been around the country on vacations, work trips, roadtrips, etc. and I've had plenty of people ask where I am from and/or live. I tell them generally where I live and maybe a little about the area. It's no big deal because I figure what are they going to do? It's not like I'm specific and tell them the exact address.
If I am in a social setting and I am asked this question, I figure it is a good way for someone who is interested in me, or whom I am interested in, to determine whether we are geographically convenient (so to speak) relative to each other.
The funny part is when I'm asked where I'm from and I over-think it: did they mean originally? Where I grew up? Where I am now? Where I just drove from?
[answers: faraway, nearby, kind of far from here, and work]
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She stammered a little and then she told me. It turns out that I had lived in the same area and I went on to say how much I enjoyed that neighborhood and all the good things about it. I then got pulled away by someone I knew and never saw the two women again.
Depends on where you live
It sounds like you ran into a couple of paranoid freaks. At least you found out sooner, rather than later.
