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I was at a conference today and ended up talking to two women. After we'd been talking shop for a bit, the subject turned to kitchen gadgets. One of the women told us that when she moved to the area, she had to downsize to a smaller place and had to get rid of a lot of stuff, including some kitchen gadgets.
I asked her, innocently I thought, where she had moved to in our area. She and the other woman got a weird look on their faces, like I'd just said something inappropriate. She stammered a little and then she told me. It turns out that I had lived in the same area and I went on to say how much I enjoyed that neighborhood and all the good things about it. I then got pulled away by someone I knew and never saw the two women again.
I asked her because I was trying to find something in common to talk about, not because I was planning to show up there and rob the place. I didn't ask for the exact address...
So, I ask you. Do a lot of people find it weird or inappropriate when asked where they live when in casual conversations?
No, I don`t find it weird. It just seems to be innocent chit chatting, unless of course, they wanna know the street address, whos home during the day, do you have nosey neighbors, do you have alarms. Yeah. That would set off a red flag, but otherwise, no.
Don`t give me a reason.
I don't think there is anything wrong with a general direction. You didn't ask her for an exact address.
However she mentioned that she moved from a bigger place, ( maybe more expensive, posh neighborhood?) and maybe she was "ashamed" to tell, that now she lives in some cheaper area. Or maybe she just wanted to keep it private, not only from you but also from the other woman...
Who knows?
I would not dwell on that.
There is nothing wrong asking where one live provided that you are not asking for the exact address. Was it the way you asked that triggered their reaction?
Do a lot of people find it weird or inappropriate when asked where they live when in casual conversations?
I'd hope there aren't that many weirdos... This reminds me of a woman I met through mutual friends. At first it looked like we had quite a bit in common and the conversation flowed. She was also a smoker, didn't have kids, so I figured she'd make at least a good acquaintance, if not a friend. After meeting her with them a few times and also meeting only her out once, I invited her over. She said she "didn't feel comfortable" coming! WTF?!
I'd hope there aren't that many weirdos... This reminds me of a woman I met through mutual friends. At first it looked like we had quite a bit in common and the conversation flowed. She was also a smoker, didn't have kids, so I figured she'd make at least a good acquaintance, if not a friend. After meeting her with them a few times and also meeting only her out once, I invited her over. She said she "didn't feel comfortable" coming! WTF?!
WTH? That is weird.
I should add that I've invited perfect strangers into my house (new neighbors and such and one lady I picked up off the street after a tornado came through the area) so I may not be the best judge here...lol
OP, maybe she felt like you were asking for a specific address? I've never had any problem saying what general area I lived in if someone had asked.
Just what I said... If it makes any difference, she'd moved here a few years earlier from some square state. You would even think these places may be friendlier...
Was it the way you asked that triggered their reaction?
Maybe! I am shy and so can be a little anxious when talking to people. Maybe it's that. But the conversation had been flowing well prior to that moment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
I'd hope there aren't that many weirdos... This reminds me of a woman I met through mutual friends. At first it looked like we had quite a bit in common and the conversation flowed. She was also a smoker, didn't have kids, so I figured she'd make at least a good acquaintance, if not a friend. After meeting her with them a few times and also meeting only her out once, I invited her over. She said she "didn't feel comfortable" coming! WTF?!
Kinda the same thing happened to me. The setting was a conference in a foreign country. I was standing in the lunch line talking with a colleague, who then had to leave. The woman in front of me starts talking to me, I assume, because she saw that I was an American and so was she. So we get our food and she invites me to sit with her and continue the convo. Ok fine. Since we had such a nice chat and had a few things in common, I said to her that we should get together for dinner. Strange look on her face, followed by awkward silence before she stammers about having plans and needing to work. I thought her reaction was a bit strong but I figured she's the type who needs to decompress alone after meeting people all day. I can relate.
So we finish eating and exchange goodbyes. I start heading for the restrooms and she is walking about ten yards in front of me. She turns to me and says "Do not follow me". I was like . Talk about getting the wrong idea! I have been to lots of events before, including in foreign countries. It is quite common for people who had just met at the events to make plans to take city tours, have dinner, etc. I have done that as well.
Well you are Coco-The-NUT so the person was probably weary of disclosing any sort of information that will place you within close proximity of her comfort zone Nah, seriously, i wouldnt even care about her response and would have quickly responded with a on second thought, you dont have to respond to that question...
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She stammered a little and then she told me. It turns out that I had lived in the same area and I went on to say how much I enjoyed that neighborhood and all the good things about it. I then got pulled away by someone I knew and never saw the two women again.
. Talk about getting the wrong idea! I have been to lots of events before, including in foreign countries. It is quite common for people who had just met at the events to make plans to take city tours, have dinner, etc. I have done that as well.
Nah, seriously, i wouldnt even care about her response and would have quickly responded with a on second thought, you dont have to respond to that question...
