Balancing the fine line of being a challenge and being too needy (dating, girl)
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There is no balance. When you aren't needy, you present a challenge. Act interested and warm when you communicate, but keep some distance when you aren't.
A challenge meaning your not on her/his tail every second which is hard because if u have feelings for them then you want to spend time with them but to keep attraction up you also have to remain a mystery.
There is no balance. When you aren't needy, you present a challenge. Act interested and warm when you communicate, but keep some distance when you aren't.
this.
it's an art and you learn best from experience. also, if you keep yourself busy and have healthy self-esteem, it should just come naturally
the balance act. i think i get it. standoffish vs too clingy.
if you are codependent its an impossible act.
sounds like tight wire circus work doesnt it?
for sure, the kiss of death dont worry just be yourself.
u guna be home alone very soon.
A challenge meaning your not on her/his tail every second which is hard because if u have feelings for them then you want to spend time with them but to keep attraction up you also have to remain a mystery.
I don't think you have to "remain a mystery". That sounds like a sort of acting role you're assuming, rather than being who you are. As for being needy, perhaps the technological age we're in is a detriment to the dating scene.
Back in the olden days when I started dating, there weren't cell phones, you had to call someone's home to speak to them. The ability to contact someone wasn't incessant like it can be now.
To be interested in someone doesn't mean you text/call them constantly, you don't see them all the time, you don't move in together after knowing each other a couple of weeks. I think the art of dating is lost because you're not taking your time to get to know a person, it's information overload via text, email, FB, IM, phone calls. I think that takes away the "mystery" by knowing too much too soon. On the flip side, the times in between seeing a person, you can get to know them a bit better if you're having genuine and engaging conversations on IM or email.
To date/get to know someone, no matter how eager you may be and how much you like them, don't rush things, don't push too hard, and be yourself. Always be genuine, because if you're not, you can only keep up that pretense for so long and people will see right through you.
this is the situation im in. Theres a girl at work that works in a different department from me. I made eye contact at a holiday party with her but didnt do anything about it. A week later we were at a work happy hour where she came out and I met her the first time and we ended up making out at the end of the night. I dont really see her during the day because shes in a different area but we have the ability if we want to talk on a IM Messenger for work. We are flirtatious but I dont want to be too needy and be over by her all the time or IM her but at the same time I dont want her to think im ignoring her or for her to lose interest.
Im not sure if I should just go in with the mindset to take things slow and maybe try and go to lunch with her one day, and let her do as much of the starting the conversation as me? Or if I should try and be more proactive.
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