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Is your J J or is he B and id he reading the thread?
Oh no, that's just one J's favorite lines.
Rob, you and I both know you can't get sick from being outside, you have to come in contact with someone who has a virus. So you may want to rethink that as one of the reasons for not letting the kids go to the beach?
Just like you IBTJDA has a right to talk to the kids in private (unfortunately), but sending a in the bathroom to talk, that's so typical TJ world stuff. Just try to be patient with A, let him know that you're there for him if he wants to talk/vent. No telling what toxic things were said, but you can only be a shoulder if he wants one, ya know?
IMHO I would seriously avoid any more verbal confrontations with him. Do what you have to do to make it easier for you and the kids. And keep in mind, while this seems like it's taking forever, you're almost at the end. Hang tough for a little while longer, you've come so far. Don't let a few road bumps push you back.
Rob, you and I both know you can't get sick from being outside, you have to come in contact with someone who has a virus. So you may want to rethink that as one of the reasons for not letting the kids go to the beach?
Just like you IBTJDA has a right to talk to the kids in private (unfortunately), but sending a in the bathroom to talk, that's so typical TJ world stuff. Just try to be patient with A, let him know that you're there for him if he wants to talk/vent. No telling what toxic things were said, but you can only be a shoulder if he wants one, ya know?
IMHO I would seriously avoid any more verbal confrontations with him. Do what you have to do to make it easier for you and the kids. And keep in mind, while this seems like it's taking forever, you're almost at the end. Hang tough for a little while longer, you've come so far. Don't let a few road bumps push you back.
L has a bit of a cold right now...unfortunetly, and I dont know if going out and doing that will make her feel better. yep, he has a right. But he wasn't hiding out in the Bath the whole time. I wasn't listening to the conversation, couldnt...tv was to loud. I was called to the phone, tho...
And they are all inflicted with the crazy butt virus...
He does not need to be taking the kids out of the state this weekend. Remember when you wanted to go visit your family in MD and he would not allow it? Well the same rules stand for him.
With a custody hearing in a few days, you are not wrong to insist that they stay with you.
Robyn, he has no "team" of lawyers. He's just upping the ante as it is apparent that he still thinks he can get you back. I laughed out loud when you said that he asked if you still wanted to get back together. That just shows he still believes there is a chance, and will try anything to rub you the wrong way and hopefully "cave."
The situation with him coming to take the kids is frustrating. I wish you could have somehow gotten a temporary restraining order against him or something because I understand your dilemma. I would still call the police and ask for advice. You have some real reasons why the kids should not go with him; the sleeping situation, A being sick, not to mention all of the other things that go on at that abusive, sick household.
He may think that he's making you pay for things, and he is to some extent. However, if your lawyer is worth his salt he will make him pay for all of this come court time (missing clothes, harrassment, kids coming home sick, etc.).
I guess all I can say is use your best judgment and bide your time until the court date. THAT is when ibtj is going to be in for a rude awakening. Let him and his "team" of lawyers figure that one out.
That whole family needs to be locked up and the key needs to be flushed.
I think his team of lawyers is his actual lawyer, mother, and sister. Crazy. I have called the police before in a similar situation, the one where I let them know I was moving out of the house, and they told me there was nothing they could do unless he did something, then I could call them.
Just like neither of us having true custody, there is nothing I can do, just like they told us that night. Of course they could go to the magistrate. That changed everything.
Now, with me disagreeing to them taking the kids out of state opens up me taking the kids to MD for Thanksgiving.
He has mentioned out Holiday agreement, and saying he felt it is still in place. Still wanting to mediate, and me not mediating will cause a contested divorce, which is just not true.
I did go to mediate, and he did not. He set something up, told me about it the day before, knowing for 2 weeks, expecting me to be there.
Now he wants to look at my sep agreement again with his lawyer, I do believe he has one now, he has no bills, and I am sure that his family is footing that lawyer bill. I have spoken to that lawyers office in the past, and she is exp. I called as a potential client. Not because i was going, and I will leave it at that.
I couldn't even step a foot in the door there. I have voiced my feelings and concern with him about the sleeping issues there, and the set up now is that A, still would be in bottom bunk of Bil sons room, j in his mothers bed, whatever, mil on the couch, and L somewhere on an air mattress. My lawyer has compared this to dormatory sleeping.
Of course, I am blamed, its all my fault, and I am quick to say that it is not. because it isn't.
Support hearing is in a few days, custody Nov 19.
This is a pain. I cannot believe that since last Saturday he has asked me 2x if I want to get back together with him. HELLO?
He does not need to be taking the kids out of the state this weekend. Remember when you wanted to go visit your family in MD and he would not allow it? Well the same rules stand for him.
With a custody hearing in a few days, you are not wrong to insist that they stay with you.
Cant compare it,, although I want to. I am not him. I also, even though custody will be just before thanksgiving, want to take the kids to my sisters, like we agreed.
Support in a few days, custody, Nov 19.
Oh, and he mentioned trying to move the hearings to a later time, I need to let my lawyer know about that. I dont think he can do that...but I dont know.
Constant manipulation, still. He's the same guy that forced you to leave your marriage. He will never change until he is hit full force with the reality of life, and maybe not even then. He's never had to do anything for himself; his mom, sister, and other enablers have always done it for him.
Syn, pic didn't come through on my (updated) computer ~ I'm dying to SEE what ib looks like!
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