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He may be a closet gay and looking for a show-off GF/Wife. I dont know? Maybe he really isn't all that interested in women and only wants you around as a house wife. Just pointing out the abstract possibilities.
I think any guy that likes anal penetration is probably at least bi-sexual. If he isn't gay, then hes definitely been sexually abused and that may explain his issues with you as well. There is a lot going on that you, much less us, dont know.
I agree with the above posters in listening to your gut. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
I am early in my early 30s dating a man that is in his late 30s who was divorced in 2010. He has triplets from his previous marriage that are in elementary school that are with him every other weekend. We spend every weekend together and we get along with each other really well overall. His kids are wonderful to be around so there is no problem there. The thing that raises questions for me is he does not want to call me between the times (mon-thurs) we see each other which makes it difficult to develop a relationship in which I feel comfortable talking to him about anything. He states I shouldn't complain because he gives me quality time and text messaging is enough. I don't need long conversations to meet my needs just knowing a person cares by checking on me in the middle of the week would be nice. So the first question I have is is it crowding a guy too much by asking for a call? Another question is he is only moderately affectionate. We cuddle on the couch sometimes but we do not hold hands or cuddle at night. We have an active sexual life but he likes anal penetration which is completely new to me. I heard that is a spot for guys but I'm not here to judge what guys like sexually. I am an affectionate person so I would like people that are not that affectionate or experienced simar circumstances to offer input. He has become more affectionate than he was when we started dating in September.
I know he plans on having a long term relationship with me but I'm not sure if it is because he is really into me or if it's because I'm easy to get along with, convenient, and I'm a teacher so Im great with the kids. He made a comment that he was looking to date a teacher because he is worried about his daughters progress in school. I really care about him but something doesn't seem right.
I believe the main question here is, does this man think and feel as you do about things...
and an even bigger question, if, he can't live up to your expectations of what you think a relationship should be, will it work?
It isn't about give and take, you take more, he takes less or visa versa...what it IS about is, personal culture...we're all different...period....he will never think and feel like you do, and visa versa...doesn't make him wrong and your right, however, if you cannot understand that, you need to re-evaluate for both your sakes...
It's what he believes and you are not going to change him. If your looking for validation from other posters here, you'll get it, however, it has to be your choice...if something doesn't seem quit right here, then I believe you've answered your own question....
He does not think and feel as you do, so what do you have in common?
I'm thinking "not Much".
See when your in a relationship, you need to have mental compatiblity...meaning, someone somewhat closer to YOUR culture....someone who pretty much thinks and feels as you do...it will never be 100%, and no two people are ever on the same plain at the same time...but it surely helps to be selective, and really observe the person your dating, to see if he is simply acting and playing a part, (meaning being the person he "thinks" your looking for, then after your married, he completely changes, which is what I had) but you must be observent, and really study the person your dating to see if there truly is mental compatibility.
You can try and figure him out all you want, but you can't and never will, b/c he isn't on your level of intellectual thought, and visa versa, he isn't your culture, so what does it matter, if he's a closet gay or not...what matters is, you two are not compatible.
If you don't listen to those red flags you see going off now, some day, you'll wish you had...this is your choice...it's your life....you don't need to settle, you need to be careful and hugely selective.
That ties in with it because I'm not sure if he likes men or if heterosexual men also enjoy that. It is my first time learning that some men like that and that may be part of the problem. I apologize if it was offensive to you. I'm trying to keep an open mind consider all possibilities. it is an uncomfortable topic and I apologize. I will exclude such comments from further post.
That ties in with it because I'm not sure if he likes men or if heterosexual men also enjoy that. It is my first time learning that some men like that and that may be part of the problem. I apologize if it was offensive to you. I'm trying to keep an open mind consider all possibilities. it is an uncomfortable topic and I apologize. I will exclude such comments from further post.
no no, you didn't offend me at all, the point I was trying to make is, your looking for reasons why he's like that, and why he treats you as he does? Just move on, and stop trying to figure him out....
I'm not saying this to hurt you, but from experience....after a failed marriage, I kept trying to understand for years, why he treated me like he did, why he acted like he did, and never did the answers come, however, when I started a personal evaluation, and tried to figure out, why I chose a man so dysfunctional...well, then the answers started comeing....does that make sense?
That ties in with it because I'm not sure if he likes men or if heterosexual men also enjoy that. It is my first time learning that some men like that and that may be part of the problem. I apologize if it was offensive to you. I'm trying to keep an open mind consider all possibilities. it is an uncomfortable topic and I apologize. I will exclude such comments from further post.
Not offensive. It stood out odd.
Besides, I'm of the opinion that women with very high self-esteem and pride don't do anal sex. I always thought it was humiliating. It's not normal. It's an aberration.
It caters to the following mindset:
"You can do whatever you want, but please come lay with me"
I don't get this guy at all. When my husband and I were just starting to date and still to this day we call eachother at least once a day. Sometimes he will call me when he's stressed for what we call "a honey fix". And that comment about wanting to date a teacher because he's worried about his daughter's progress in school? Really? That should be your answer right there, he's with you cuz you are a teacher.
That ties in with it because I'm not sure if he likes men or if heterosexual men also enjoy that. It is my first time learning that some men like that and that may be part of the problem. I apologize if it was offensive to you. I'm trying to keep an open mind consider all possibilities. it is an uncomfortable topic and I apologize. I will exclude such comments from further post.
I'm a heterosexual male who will never, ever enjoy anal penetration. Ever. Like in the history of my life, ever. Not once, like ever. Ever. Like another poster alluded to, he may have some psychological issues hence the prostrate massage he likes to receive.
I'm a heterosexual male who will never, ever enjoy anal penetration. Ever. Like in the history of my life, ever. Not once, like ever. Ever. Like another poster alluded to, he may have some psychological issues hence the prostrate massage he likes to receive.
You should dump him off that alone.
OMG I read the OP wrong, I thought he was doing the penetrating not the other way around. OP that is just strange, IMO. I have never met a hetero man that wants that done to them. I'm sorry, but if my hubby asked me to do that to him I'd probably run as fast as possible to the nearest divorce attorney.
He likes it done to him. I don't care to try it on myself.
Ok..this is just gross!!
He is gay and is using you for his own selfish gain.
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not the other way around. OP that is just strange, IMO. I have never met a hetero man that wants that done to them. I'm sorry, but if my hubby asked me to do that to him I'd probably run as fast as possible to the nearest divorce attorney.
