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I'm genuinely curious to hear what type of difficulties you and your SO faced. And is there really such a divide or just the assumption that there will be a divide?
The differences are small and subtle, but they're pervasive — and they're always.
His sense of humor is very different. It's far more dry and very stealthy, so I miss some of it. Ergo, he doesn't understand my wit. He comes from a more class-conscious culture, and I don't, and this shows up in small ways. There's a lot of slang and turns of phrases that he uses that I have to ask him about, and vice versa. It takes a long time to get used to.
But, what works for us is that neither of us are generations-old, white-bred Americans. That breeds a sense of camaraderie.
The differences are small and subtle, but they're pervasive — and they're always.
His sense of humor is very different. It's far more dry and very stealthy, so I miss some of it. Ergo, he doesn't understand my wit. He comes from a more class-conscious culture, and I don't, and this shows up in small ways. There's a lot of slang and turns of phrases that he uses that I have to ask him about, and vice versa. It takes a long time to get used to.
But, what works for us is that neither of us are generations-old, white-bred Americans. That breeds a sense of camaraderie.
Oh ok, gotcha. You are talking about people raised in different cultures. I can see that.
Ugh. Please don't take this the wrong way, because I saw what someone wrote about women not being attracted to Asian men. I'm not sure that's really true —
I have two Indian (South Asian) friends - one is married to a pretty hot Chinese woman and the other is married to a pretty hot white. Another Korean friend of mine got married to a Latina. If the stereotype is that White and Asian women are not attracted to Asian men I have seen it broken many times which tells me that the stereotype is an urban myth.
Or perhaps the stereotype was true sometime in the past but no longer...
I have two Indian (South Asian) friends - one is married to a pretty hot Chinese woman and the other is married to a pretty hot white. Another Korean friend of mine got married to a Latina. If the stereotype is that White and Asian women are not attracted to Asian men I have seen it broken many times which tells me that the stereotype is an urban myth.
Or perhaps the stereotype was true sometime in the past but no longer...
I have no doubt you are right. There are statistical basis in the stereotype. Several studies have confirmed the supposition. However, statistics doesn't say anything about a particular person. In my view, the statistical disadvantage can be overcome, as you've observed yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by supernaut112
Hiya back from Clarksville!
BTW, there's a super-secret Flakebook group devoted to discussing Match.com. It's set up by some Austin women, so BE VERY SCARED. Hee!
(And be nice to the ladiez!)
Always, I'm a gentleman Now I'm curious about this super secret FB group...
Always, I'm a gentleman Now I'm curious about this super secret FB group...
As you should be.
I will tell you this: a good gal pal who was on Match.com successfully avoided getting involved with at least major "player" on the site because of this FB group. Turned out he was hitting on women willy-nilly, using the same tired lines. So that was good — for her, not for him! But there's also a lot of positive comments about Match.com men, too. Even if one woman doesn't "click" with a guy, she'll give him a good rec.
I will tell you this: a good gal pal who was on Match.com successfully avoided getting involved with at least major "player" on the site because of this FB group. Turned out he was hitting on women willy-nilly, using the same tired lines. So that was good — for her, not for him! But there's also a lot of positive comments about Match.com men, too. Even if one woman doesn't "click" with a guy, she'll give him a good rec.
So Austin men on match.com are being rated like Ebay feedbacks "Good communication. Fast payment. A++++++. Will see again!"
I have to admit I am getting a little frustrated with Match.Com, even though I am trying to be optimistic. Of all the sites I have been on, Match definitely appears to have women overall that would seem compatible with me, but I am not getting much interest. I am sure I am going through the same frustrations as other men and women who do online dating, so I am not going to dwell on it, but for the first time, it is frustrating me.
I have to admit I am getting a little frustrated with Match.Com, even though I am trying to be optimistic. Of all the sites I have been on, Match definitely appears to have women overall that would seem compatible with me, but I am not getting much interest. I am sure I am going through the same frustrations as other men and women who do online dating, so I am not going to dwell on it, but for the first time, it is frustrating me.
I hear you, it is frustrating. If it gets too frustrating, take a break and have fun doing other things for awhile, then come back to it when you are ready. I seem to be getting much more interest on OKCupid so maybe you can try that. Also don't make online dating your only route, try to participate in social activities to meet new people that way as well. Good luck to you!
I hear you, it is frustrating. If it gets too frustrating, take a break and have fun doing other things for awhile, then come back to it when you are ready. I seem to be getting much more interest on OKCupid so maybe you can try that. Also don't make online dating your only route, try to participate in social activities to meet new people that way as well. Good luck to you!
OkCupid didn't do anything for me, the best success I had was POF, but nothing really worked, so I am going back to Match. I am doing the social activity route now, at least I am meeting new people. But at the end of the day, I have accepted that dating is like this, has it's up's and downs, and right now is the downs. At the end of the day, I think we all know what to do, it just has to happen for us.
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"Good communication. Fast payment. A++++++. Will see again!"
. I am sure I am going through the same frustrations as other men and women who do online dating, so I am not going to dwell on it, but for the first time, it is frustrating me.
