Why did he suddenly fall off the face of the earth? (men, attracted)
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I can't be that sympathetic with you. In your previous posts you've mentioned that you basically have taken the online dating route. As someone who holds an "advanced" degree, you should know what type of cats frequent those sites (as well as the disproportional number of men using them). Point and click, point and click, wash rinse repeat. There's no risk when it comes to sitting behind your computer screen. If those are the results that you've gotten within the past year or so then it is your fault ultimately. There are plenty of ways to meet new people, house parties, festivals etc don't be lazy.
There's a reason for this three dating rule. It's not something that's set in stone, it's relative to your experience, although this board... is probably not the best place to explain it.
I refuse to believe that all men on dating websites are dogs (or cats as you said) or just the ONS kind. I know many people who have met their significant other this way. I do agree that there are a lot of people looking for hook ups and a computer just makes it easier for them to hide their true colors/intentions.
Not all the men I've dated in the past year have been from online dating. I don't rely just on this for meeting people. I am not lazy, I have a social life and I am out and about every weekend doing things that interest me.
As I said before, this has been MY experience. I am not a prude by any means, but I will not sleep with a man because he has "taken me out three times." I will sleep with a man when I want to and feel confortable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun
I would rather be single than to have a woman or man make me do anything.
If a mature man "really" wants you for the long haul he won't mind waiting. If you have good open lines of communication and know where each other is coming from this would be a non-issue anyway.
I agree with you. One person shouldn't make another do something. People should be themselves and do what makes them happy.
Bold part.... That's what I think as well. I am not asking them to wait for a specific amount of time either. What bothers me the most is that I am very honest and open when the talk about sex comes in. I don't play games. I believe intimacy is not something you plan, it just happens. I need more than three dates to feel confortable being naked in front of someone else, and as you said, a "mature" man won't mind waiting. I guess I haven't being meeting the mature kind . But, I still have hope. I will meet the right one for me when the time's right
women love love love to cat and mouse. men (american) feel that once they made the honest and sincere effort and it does not bear fruit, she is just playing with his emotions and needs to drop her.
french guys understand this and that is what makes them so much more attractive than americans.
women love love love to cat and mouse. men (american) feel that once they made the honest and sincere effort and it does not bear fruit, she is just playing with his emotions and needs to drop her.
women love love love to cat and mouse. men (american) feel that once they made the honest and sincere effort and it does not bear fruit, she is just playing with his emotions and needs to drop her. french guys understand this and that is what makes them so much more attractive than americans.
French guys are more attractive than what? Americans? hahaha...Let me put it this way, you couldnt beat those hairy armpit women off me and my friends with a stick; while we were in Paris and other parts of France. Please add imho to that post because it is FALSE!!!!
Why are some posters saying that the OP "flaked"? She didn't flake and I don't think it's right to accuse her of that. They had their date and she couldn't go to his place afterwards because she had a class the next day. If anything, the guy is the flake for suddenly not wanting a relationship because she wouldn't put out? What is wrong with people these days? Is sex mandatory within the first 3 dates in order for a relationship to proceed? I'm no prude and I'm all for "go with the moment" but lately it just seems like if there's no action, the guys just take off.
Agree. And with so many threads here, god help her if she made the mistake of sleeping with him too soon. That would have been her fault too.
Agree. And with so many threads here, god help her if she made the mistake of sleeping with him too soon. That would have been her fault too.
^^^This. I have seen several threads lately where there was sex within a few dates and the guys went MIA right after that. You can imagine how those threads went...
women love love love to cat and mouse. men (american) feel that once they made the honest and sincere effort and it does not bear fruit, she is just playing with his emotions and needs to drop her.
french guys understand this and that is what makes them so much more attractive than americans.
I would rather be single than to have a woman or man make me do anything.
If a mature man "really" wants you for the long haul he won't mind waiting. If you have good open lines of communication and know where each other is coming from this would be a non-issue anyway.
^^Exactly. Ok, maybe saying "made" was harsh lol but you got my point. Neither of us was looking for just jumping in bed and not establishing a serious relationship and he wasn't looking for a girl who would just "do it". We fooled around...I didn't leave him hanging (no pun)
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 women love love love to cat and mouse. men (american) feel that once they made the honest and sincere effort and it does not bear fruit, she is just playing with his emotions and needs to drop her. french guys understand this and that is what makes them so much more attractive than americans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
HUH?!?!?
HUH???? is right....
Let me get this straight...the OP doesn't go back to this guy's place AFTER the second date, but still tries to contact him after. Meanwhile, HE is blowing her off. And she is "playing with his emotions????" What?
It's been my experience that people *in general* who are quick to connect with a person are also just as quick to disconnect. The connection for the quick-to-connect people isn't based on anything real; it's based fantasy the first person builds up in their head about the second person. When the OTHER person does something to destroy that fantasy, the first person disconnects almost immediately.
When you didn't hop-to, you destroyed whatever fantasy he had created about you and he disconnected. It's not your fault. It's his problem, not yours. No one is ever going to live up to his perfect standards.
If you were somehow to placate him this time, you would be forever placating him, trying to live up to whatever his weird standards are.
I know it hurts when someone pulls away suddenly (I've been through something similar myself recently), but relationships aren't supposed to be this hard in the beginning. If they're already this hard, they're never going to work.
OMG Sunshine! You just made me feel about a million times better about the last 2 "relationships" that I've had!!! Both started out phenomenally...and both ended (on their part) for something ridiculous!!! This makes more sense than anything else that I have heard...and hopefully I can watch out for this in the future. Any advice on what to do IF you do seem to connect so quickly?
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, and as you said, a "mature" man won't mind waiting. I guess I haven't being meeting the mature kind 
. But, I still have hope. I will meet the right one for me when the time's right
