My husband just rejected me sexually (ladies, kiss, feelings, relation)

[bored_wife]

I too am having that problem with my husband. We have been married for about 7 years and at first our sex life was amazing. Now, whenever we have sex it's usually wam-bam-thank-you-mam. I have talked to him and told him how unhappy I am with our situation. I have also tried just about everything with him, from doing more variety to dressing sexy, just about everything. One of the biggest problems is that he doesn't like to kiss, and I love it! It's been about 4 years since he gave me a real kiss, and whenever he kisses me lately it is just a peck. I have told him that I love kissing and want a real passionate kiss, but it always leads to a fight. We have been having this problem for years now and I don't know what to think anymore. I feel awful everytime I get rejected, but if I don't initiate he doesn't either. I have seriously thought about divorce, any suggestions?

[cpg35223]

Multiple possibilities:

1) He just rubbed one out.
2) He had diarrhea.
3) He was tired.

[KenFL]

Originally Posted by bored_wife

I too am having that problem with my husband. We have been married for about 7 years and at first our sex life was amazing. Now, whenever we have sex it's usually wam-bam-thank-you-mam. I have talked to him and told him how unhappy I am with our situation. I have also tried just about everything with him, from doing more variety to dressing sexy, just about everything. One of the biggest problems is that he doesn't like to kiss, and I love it! It's been about 4 years since he gave me a real kiss, and whenever he kisses me lately it is just a peck. I have told him that I love kissing and want a real passionate kiss, but it always leads to a fight. We have been having this problem for years now and I don't know what to think anymore. I feel awful everytime I get rejected, but if I don't initiate he doesn't either. I have seriously thought about divorce, any suggestions?

I have to ask, do you by chance have halitosis? If so, sometimes a doctor can help with this condition...

[Ascension2012]

Originally Posted by bored_wife

I too am having that problem with my husband. We have been married for about 7 years and at first our sex life was amazing. Now, whenever we have sex it's usually wam-bam-thank-you-mam. I have talked to him and told him how unhappy I am with our situation. I have also tried just about everything with him, from doing more variety to dressing sexy, just about everything. One of the biggest problems is that he doesn't like to kiss, and I love it! It's been about 4 years since he gave me a real kiss, and whenever he kisses me lately it is just a peck. I have told him that I love kissing and want a real passionate kiss, but it always leads to a fight. We have been having this problem for years now and I don't know what to think anymore. I feel awful everytime I get rejected, but if I don't initiate he doesn't either. I have seriously thought about divorce, any suggestions?

Was your hubby a passionate kisser, before th two of you got married? If not, were you hoping he would morph into one?

[LS Jaun]

[quote=14Bricks;22898367]

Originally Posted by tgbwc

"Whenever l meet a girl that doesn't give head l look at them like a damn Betamax, They still make you?''-

Chris Rock

There's women out there that don't do this? They should be stuck with the guys that don't go down...Perfect match.

[himain]

[quote=LS Jaun;26652550]

Originally Posted by 14Bricks

There's women out there that don't do this? They should be stuck with the guys that don't go down...Perfect match.

Yes I know a couple and I can't believe it. I've also been with guys who don't go down. Not that big of a deal to me because Im not a huge fan of it..

[augiedogie]

I'm sure that there are lots of men that can relate to the feeling of being rejected by the one who you're married to and desire. Its not fun. Unfortunately, there is no cure I've ever heard of, for either sex. You might try to find out if there is something that he is angry about that has turned him off. But if he opens up, don't be surprised if its something you really don't want to hear.

[JerZ]

Was he by any chance sexually molested as a child? His "turning off" just sort of sounds like that. I'm not saying you (OP) have nothing to do with the situation; you could both be equally to blame for the relationship itself going downhill. But as far as the seeming to have no urges thing if it's with another person, I mean. (Sorry, that was an incomplete sentence.)

Also, I can understand not jumping immediately to the conclusion that he's gay...but what's with everybody immediately deciding he's not gay? It happens, folks. Why not keep it as one possibility? It makes no sense to completely rule it out when it's something that can and does happen that someone is gay but gets married, has sex with the person at least occasionally, etc.

[Lilac110]

Old thread limping, pushed on by the below. Just saying. OP was back in February.

Originally Posted by bored_wife

I too am having that problem with my husband. We have been married for about 7 years and at first our sex life was amazing. Now, whenever we have sex it's usually wam-bam-thank-you-mam. I have talked to him and told him how unhappy I am with our situation. I have also tried just about everything with him, from doing more variety to dressing sexy, just about everything. One of the biggest problems is that he doesn't like to kiss, and I love it! It's been about 4 years since he gave me a real kiss, and whenever he kisses me lately it is just a peck. I have told him that I love kissing and want a real passionate kiss, but it always leads to a fight. We have been having this problem for years now and I don't know what to think anymore. I feel awful everytime I get rejected, but if I don't initiate he doesn't either. I have seriously thought about divorce, any suggestions?

Was he a smoocher before? If not, you're stuck, because people tend not to change when it comes to things like that.

I'm assuming you've had a sit-down with him, but if you haven't, it's time. Go somewhere neutral (not the bedroom, and preferably not even your house) and have a quiet, peaceful discussion, heavy on the "I feel that," light on the "you always" and "you never." It's more about telling him how you feel and not about accusing him. You don't feel desired, you don't feel loved, you're not sure he still wants you anymore, is there anything you can do to help correct this situation, etc., etc.

If that doesn't work, you might need counseling. I'm not a big believer in marriage counseling because usually it's one person's idea and the other resists. But maybe he'll be open to it.

You could also try a little reverse psychology. It is unfortunate, but often true, that some men want what they can't have and don't appreciate what comes easily, even when they're married. So you might want to try giving up on it for a while and let him be the one to notice that it has been X number of weeks or months since you had sex.

Really, though, when men don't want sex, it's usually because of a health issue with them, things going on (ie, work, financial problems), problems in the relationship, they don't love you anymore, or there is someone else. You need to find out which one it is.

[imcurious]

Why would you inject botulism into yourself? Ugh.