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... so she can have "alone time" for about a week. We've had some difficult talks over the past week. She says I don't make her happy. She says I'm like "food with no nutrients." She says we have nothing in common. She says other people represent "life" and I represent "death." She says I give her a bottomless black hole in her soul.
She's obviously not happy with me but I want to make it work. We've been married 8 years. I love her. I know this sounds really screwed up, but should I go on the week long vacation by myself and give her some time?
Is there anyway you can set up a Bank account in a friends name & tranfer your money there?? I think you need to do this asap! Also go on the trip & if u have any female co workers invite one & show her a good time. You should enjoy life, but please make sure you secure your money.
If I were you, before I head out for the week, actually - ASAP - I'd meet with a lawyer and financial advisor to try to figure out the best way to go about a legal separation.
She might want you gone out of the house so she can clean you out.
You don't want to come home to an empty house, no money, and all your stuff packed up or gone.
Sorry to sound so awful... but if she really said those things... man those are very horrible things for a spouse to say.
Does she suffer from anxiety or depression? Is she medicated?
Even if you do want to work it out... you still need to protect yourself. Just in case.
... so she can have "alone time" for about a week. We've had some difficult talks over the past week. She says I don't make her happy. She says I'm like "food with no nutrients." She says we have nothing in common. She says other people represent "life" and I represent "death." She says I give her a bottomless black hole in her soul.
She's obviously not happy with me but I want to make it work. We've been married 8 years. I love her. I know this sounds really screwed up, but should I go on the week long vacation by myself and give her some time?
ok I have just read this post, instead of just the thread title.
Do as others have said in this thread. haggardhouseelf is on the mark, I agree with him/her.
If I were you, before I head out for the week, actually - ASAP - I'd meet with a lawyer and financial advisor to try to figure out the best way to go about a legal separation.
She might want you gone out of the house so she can clean you out.
You don't want to come home to an empty house, no money, and all your stuff packed up or gone.
Sorry to sound so awful... but if she really said those things... man those are very horrible things for a spouse to say.
Does she suffer from anxiety or depression? Is she medicated?
Even if you do want to work it out... you still need to protect yourself. Just in case.
Yes! pLease OP, secure your porfolio ASAP!! Gain control...contact a lawyer & keep him posted. No is the time to get closer to other women that may be attracted & interested, someone you know likes you man. Take a deserving female friend on this vacation. Please clean your accounts OP. please!
Yes! pLease OP, secure your porfolio ASAP!! Gain control...contact a lawyer & keep him posted. No is the time to get closer to other women that may be attracted & interested, someone you know likes you man. Take a deserving female friend on this vacation. Please clean your accounts OP. please!
Wait a minute, you want the OP to cheat on his wife with another woman? While I understand your concern for his financials, the second part of your advice to him is just plain stupid and immoral!
Well, to be fair, it's not his job to make her happy. Happiness comes from within.
But clearly she feels as though he has brought little to their intimacy and she's feeling like she's in a desert and dying of thirst.
Well, many women have this customer mentality - "Make me happy! That's an order!"
Also the whole "You must go on a holiday so I can clear my mind"...she really sounds like a pushy b****. You should stand your ground calmly without being confrontational (I know that's easier said than done).
I think we're missing large chunks of the back story - what do you do or not do that makes her say "you give me a bottomless black hole"? You have nothing in common - to what is she referring exactly? Are you too wrapped up in work, hobbies, family, to give her the attention she feels she needs? Are you a party boy and she's a homebody, or the other way around? She wants kids and you won't budge? What exactly are the problems? Your statements are way too vague to come to an intelligent conclusion about what is really being said.
I agree that you have to find happiness within yourself, but even if I'm ecstatic with me and thinking I'm the best thing since sliced bread it IS totally possible to have one area completely out of sync that drains you dry. All the happiness with me in this world doesn't matter in the case that I am in a relationship that is clearly going nowhere, whether that be the total truth or only in my mind. I think it's a foregone conclusion that she is depressed, at least with the relationship.
I think I would suggest counseling ASAP to her and see what reaction you get. If she's totally opposed, then it sounds like her mind is made up somewhere deep inside her. All that being said - I think she's taking a week to see what it feels like to be all on her own, doing her own thing, making her own way, and clearing whatever "blackness" there is in the relationship to determine that life would be better alone. I'm not saying she's gonna clean you out over that week - but she is potentially going to get her ducks in a row. If she doesn't find her happiness in that week, I'm pretty sure she will determine just what exactly she will need to make her happy.
Bottom line, I think she's kicking you to the curb and is trying to get a week to get her thoughts in line before telling you that she's hit bottom. In that case, I would agree with other posters - get your safety money together, protect your assets as much as possible, and prepare yourself. And go on this vacation alone, for pete's sake....infidelity is a nail in the coffin for sure.
She says I'm like "food with no nutrients." She says we have nothing in common. She says other people represent "life" and I represent "death." She says I give her a bottomless black hole in her soul.
She's obviously not happy with me but I want to make it work.
i'm just dumbfounded by this sequence of statements.
how are you going to "make it work" with someone who says things like this?
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