Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you're in a marriage, the exclusion makes sense. Friends of the opposite sex do represent a threat to a marriage, which people get into, using assuming a permanent bonding of two people. However, if its just a "relationship", no one has made a permanent commitment to anyone. To me, its just dating. You're not even going "steady", so I don't see anyone running someone elses life.
Looks like your partner just wants all your attention and start running your life for her/his convenience.
It doesn't strike me as appropriate to hang out in a one on one situation with the opposite sex when you're married/committed. I have plenty of male friends, but I spend time with them in group settings, or with my husband, or with their SO's, etc. For a male friend and I to get together for dinner without my husband would be uncomfortable for me.
Opposite sex "friends" always has the potential to turn into something more given the right conditions
Wrong. My two closest friends for the past 24 years have both been male. No sex whatsoever.
My husband's BF for 21 years is female, I like her as well.
I'm not insecure, I'm not controlling and am not 15 years old anymore. This topic raises its head here constantly and the obtuse and insecure always weigh in: "There's NO WAY a man and a woman can just be friends."
I've been looking on the Relationship forums for a while and i keep seeing this.
People that aren't allowed to see or get grief for seeing their opposite sex freinds from their new partners.
Why? If your in a relationship shouldn't it be based on trust? If you don't trust them to see their freinds don't have a relationship with them.
If your in a relationship and your partner doesn't want you to see your freinds then they don't trust you so end it.
It's a relationship, you haven't suddenly become 7yrs old and need to let your Mum choose your freinds.
What are your thoughts and why do people put up with it?
If they are an ex or a legitimate threat, then they have a right to be concerned.
If it's just because she's a female and you aren't married yet, then I'd say that's a gray area.
My buddy's wife used to let him hang out with tons of female friends except the ones she specifically blacklisted. But that was BEFORE they got married. He doesn't do it so much anymore, even with the ones that are no threat.
Generally I think friends who are exes or friends that you have previously had sex with...it is perfectly reasonable for your partner to tell you to pull the plug on those type of relationships, and expect to get their way.
But legitimate platonic friends? Nah, especially if they were platonic friends prior to the relationship beginning. That said, I think of a person is going out on "date like" situations with a "friend" of the opposite sex while leaving their partner at home...that is a problem, however, that's likely a symptom of other problems, as opposed to the problem in and of itself.
If the relationship is honest, and you have established a rock-solid foundation, nothing can threaten that. Each partner in a relationship are the only two who can threaten it - think about it.
I guess I don't understand. Been through that whole process with past relationships and the denying of opposite-sex friends just created more distrust. If either partner is aware of a potential flirt that could go beyond, it is that partner's responsibility to distance him/herself so that it won't go there.
Friends of either sex who love and value you, would never get in the middle anyway if they respect you. Don't be friends with unstable (emotionally maybe) people in general, and this is far less likely to happen.
Hiding these friends or not having opposite sex friends is so childish and I guess it makes people feel secure; real security is knowing the person you are with values what you have established enough to behave respectfully to that relationship.
I wouldn't settle for less in a relationship, meaning if I had doubts about anything, I would end the relationship because the level of trust is already not there, you know?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This shouldn't be an issue
