Do cheaters ever deserved second chances? (man, cheater, young, family)
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Anyhow -- the question asked by the OP is if the cheater ever *deserves* a second chance and of course no cheater ever *deserves* a second chance. The cheater made his/her choice, and the cheater was certainly willing to throw a relationship/marriage away all for some cheap thrills, even risk the health and life of the other.
Cheating is never an accident, and cheaters will lie their rear-ends off and view the other as a gullible complete idiot while he or she is cheating on them. It becomes a game.
I am afraid I have to agree with malamute, a lier will cheat, a cheater will steal. They have stolen your heart, money and time. Time to move on.
i beleive almost all the cheaters lie too. they are never straight up about anything until the sh*t is about to hit the fan & sometimes not even then! so not only are they cheaters on top of that they're liars too. no thanks.
Couples that have been married 15-30 years, 2-3 kids, grand kids, a life built together..... yes there should be 2nd chances and forgiveness. There is a difference between a mistake and someone who lies and cheats as part of who they are.
We are all human and can make mistakes we regret. If the long established couple can work through the problem that should be the goal.
Nothing wrong with forgiving and forgetting when appropriate.
That's where I am. It all depends on the circumstances.
I always say... you marry a person, not a robot. People can make mistakes. I wouldn't stay with a serial cheater or with a person who did not seem sincerely regretful. But, I did take vows that said for better or worse. So if they are contrite and willing to work at regaining my trust then yes, I'd feel obliged to stick it out and try to save the marriage.
Now, I'm not saying I'd be the easiest person to win over. But I would certainly try to forgive and move on.
...getting really drunk and kissing some guy at a bar after we got into a fight, that might be forgivable.
Allowing herself to form a bond with a co-worker and developing feelings for him ... not so much.
But the older I get, the less I feel like there is someone 'special' out there for us. There are several people who we could potentially spend the rest of our lives with, so the key ingredient is trust, and if that is compromised, well...
It would have been interesting to have polled this by gender. I wonder if that would have made a difference.
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But I would certainly try to forgive and move on.
