When married people live together like roommates (Christian, wife, boyfriend)

[Woof Woof Woof!]

I was talking to my girlfriend the other day who I have not seen in ages. We went to high school together. She got married when she was early 20s and they had two kids, which are the light of her life.

We had a few glasses of wine and she started crying to me and confessed that she feels like her and her man live together like roommates.

I wasn't sure what to say because I know them both and don't want to hear about the problems, so I sort of changed the subject.

But now I'm wondering what does that mean, roommates? I really thought they were happy together.

[TKramar]

I don't know what she means. My room mate and I live in the same place, but she has a boyfriend that she sleeps with. We don't really interact, we each have our own lives that don't really include the other. We buy our own food, we cook for ourselves (well, she cooks, I just heat up stuff).

[BabyBoomers2]

This is the way my wife's sister and her husband conduct their marriage.......after up-teen years of marriage! She plainly doesn't like being around him much and is gone every weekend she can be (at her grandchildren's parents home). They sleep in different rooms. She never says anything about him when we talk to her on the phone, unless we ask about him. She continues to wear her wedding set. She will not separate from him again; done this before and allowed him to move back in. She will not divorce him due to her "non-divorce" Christian beliefs......which, personally, I think is a "crock of ****!" She is 65 yrs old and folks that age do have a hard time finding someone compatiable these days.
We knew another older couple that also acted somewhat like roommates, who were also married for years. She was fairly obese in weight and he loved smoking, so they slept in different rooms. However, she has lost some weight now and he has stopped his smoking (Dr. orders to stay alive), so we don't know if the "separate rooms" is still going on in their marriage.
If people are married but living like roommates.......well, to each their own, but then again, personally, I would NEVER EVER do it and I think it is rather stupid! But, again......to each their own!!

[Woof Woof Woof!]

Sounds like a great way to live like a dead person.

[njguy]

From what I gather as I've never been married is that Marriage on the most part these days is no more than being "Glorified Roommates" built on a unstable or quicksand foundation using each other.

[TheJagMan]

The best part is, people consider this to be a successful marriage! Basically they're in need in consouling...

[funymann]

Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!

I was talking to my girlfriend the other day who I have not seen in ages. We went to high school together. She got married when she was early 20s and they had two kids, which are the light of her life.

We had a few glasses of wine and she started crying to me and confessed that she feels like her and her man live together like roommates.

I wasn't sure what to say because I know them both and don't want to hear about the problems, so I sort of changed the subject.

But now I'm wondering what does that mean, roommates? I really thought they were happy together.

Having been married for over 12 years I know all about the roomate thing. You are not connected with the other person.
You are living in a home but are not a couple. Some even sleep in seperate bedrooms. Have their own life but live under the same roof. Eventually they seperate out of the house. This is the first step before a divorce.

[2mares]

But now I'm wondering what does that mean, roommates? I really thought they were happy together.

It means exactly what it sounds like. My stbx and I had that going on before we seperated. Seperate rooms, seperate accounts, did not eat together, hardly spoke to each other. I dont know where anyone would consider that success.

[Coolhand68]

Living like roommates is when you just go through the motions of sharing space together. You divide the chores and maybe even expenses, you have seperate friends, and spend more time in seperate rooms of the house as opposed to together. They stay together out of convenience for the sake of children, finances or perhaps to save face with extended family or the church.

[MaggieZ]

I lived like that, roommates or brother and sister, in my last relationship...for about two years before we finally said "what is going on here" and then we let eachother go, it was never a good relationship anyway. We ended with nothing in common and would have ended up enemies, had we kept living together.