Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
[quote=southshorelady;24526336]The bigger question is why you consider sex to be the end-all be-all to your life. Why do you let sex control any aspect of your life (i.e. whether to marry and what age) to this degree? You seem blindly unaware that you are fervently following fertile young women around like a simple dog in heat.
Sex makes up like 1% of your life, why make its priority number 1? Socrates was relieved when he lost his sex drive because then he could focus on more important things.[/quote]
This reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza goes without sex for several days/weeks and he claimed he gained several IQ points over it...
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,786,605 times
Reputation: 41386
Quote:
Originally Posted by aragx6
I knew it!
This is not me being condescending in any way, but have you considered seeking the help of a therapist? You honestly seem to have a very unhealthy, and, frankly, untrue, idea of what relationships have to look like, and I think talking through that with someone who's seen it before could be really helpful for you.
No. I don't have the money for therapy and I don't even consider my view a problem enough to spend money on. I do have health insurance but I have no desire for therapy.
I only read 80% of the responses on this thread, but my response to the OP is:
(1). you mistakenly assume older men will actually be considered "desirable" to younger women, or even women the same age as he. Only foolish 20 something women chase 50 year old guys driving Ferraris because they are naiive and mesmerized by the outward appearance of wealth or success. . Consider the movie "The 5 Year Engagement" - they had a scene where the older guy dumped the younger girlfriend because all she cared about was the sex and his ability to go all night..He got tired of that real fast. He could not relate to her on a deeper level, period.
Once a man creeps past 40, 45 - pickings DO get slim, especially if a woman wants an equal husband who will help with childrearing and parenting responsibilities.
(2). A smart woman will realize quickly which men are going to be successful and which ones are going to be looking askance after the wedding ring goes on their finger.
A smart woman will LOCK a good man down EARLY and find a way to get him and keep him. Remember Aidan from "Sex and the City"? Carrie didnt realize what a good catch she had until she ran into him years later on teh street, he was happily married with a baby on his back...Her loss was another woman's gain. Look at Mark Zuckerberg and his wife. They actually broke up for a while after Zuckerberg left Harvard and moved to CA. He dated other women..And he wanted to see her again, and she clearly made up rules about when/where he could see her because she knew he was going places, and that here was a man whom she had a quality relationship with, and who would be considered a majorly hot asset to future gold diggin' women everywhere else....and if he wanted to go places, she was going to LOCK HIM DOWN when both of them were at a great age to become parents.
(3). A man who wants a family will not wait until age 40+ to have one. The facts are out there for everyone to see - most guys dont want to be cleaning diapers at 50 or dealing with rebellious teenagers and young adults when they are 65.
(4). Believe it or not, single men who are in the dating pool past 40 are viewed as "weird or creepy" vs. DIVORCED men in the dating pool at the same age. A man who marries at 25 or 28, and attempts to make a go of marriage, grows to have a successful career, maybe even has his own kids from that marriage - but then becomes divorced or widowed at 39 or 44 - will probably have a better shot at getting a date, than a single man in the same boat. Single woman will look at divorced guys and think, "well at least another woman loved him enough to marry him.." - vs. a single man who women look at and think "ok why did this guy never get married and whats his story?
Ditto on that weird old guy at the corner of a club...You dont want to be *THAT* guy...
(5), Lastly - society ,in general, regards married men in a better light than non-married men. Studies have proven that married men in general (a) live longer, (b) live healthier lives, and (c) have healthier mental and emotional outloooks on life. At work, managers promote married men more because they know married men, ESPECIALLY fathers or fathers-TO BE, will work HARDER to maintain their job, or to climb the corporate ladder. Married men, are also viewed as desirable to other women, because women see that wedding ring, and know right off the bat,,"ohh here is another great guy, but he's already taken...waaahh.wahh..".
Think about it - when was the last time you saw an American President be single? Bill Clinton married Hillary very early in his political career. Barack Obama and Michelle after they met in school. GW Bush and Laura, also when both were young. Society loves "family men". A young man sees this, recognizes it for what it is, and by age 30/35, knows the deal and ties the knot --- because marriage will benefit him in many more ways than not.
OP - you need to revisit some of the assumptions in your post..because for many men, its simply not true.
The OP is exactly right, so many of my peers are married before 30, good looking guys. Their stupidity is something I cannot really fathom. Love just makes people stupid and irrational, same as if they drank too much liquor. It's kind of like if I'm drunk I have all kinds of odd ideas I think would be amazing but when I sober up I realize that was stupid. That same thing happens to good looking guys who marry young 8 years down the road then want to cheat or divorce. People never really stop being stupid or learn from others' mistakes, it's why humanity will never really move forward.
(4). Believe it or not, single men who are in the dating pool past 40 are viewed as "weird or creepy" vs. DIVORCED men in the dating pool at the same age. A man who marries at 25 or 28, and attempts to make a go of marriage, grows to have a successful career, maybe even has his own kids from that marriage - but then becomes divorced or widowed at 39 or 44 - will probably have a better shot at getting a date, than a single man in the same boat. Single woman will look at divorced guys and think, "well at least another woman loved him enough to marry him.." - vs. a single man who women look at and think "ok why did this guy never get married and whats his story?
I don't think single men in their 40's are creeps. 40 is still young. He may have been focussing on his career, like so many women who are single at 40. Divorced guys can have baggage. I'd rather have someone who's been single.
Men, too, will seek to "lock down" a good woman with a good personality who's hot in bed. Guys don't let a good thing slip out of their hands if they can help it. Love is a two-way street. If a guy on a "success" career track finds the right woman in his 20's or 30's, he'd be a fool to let her get away. Sounds like our OP hasn't had much luck in that regard.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,982 posts, read 6,693,696 times
Reputation: 3689
because their life is already started..no need to worry about saving up to get married or save up to buy a house, there life is moving fast because it can afford to
(5), Lastly - society ,in general, regards married men in a better light than non-married men. Studies have proven that married men in general (a) live longer, (b) live healthier lives, and (c) have healthier mental and emotional outloooks on life. At work, managers promote married men more because they know married men, ESPECIALLY fathers or fathers-TO BE, will work HARDER to maintain their job, or to climb the corporate ladder. Married men, are also viewed as desirable to other women, because women see that wedding ring, and know right off the bat,,"ohh here is another great guy, but he's already taken...waaahh.wahh..".
Think about it - when was the last time you saw an American President be single? Bill Clinton married Hillary very early in his political career. Barack Obama and Michelle after they met in school. GW Bush and Laura, also when both were young. Society loves "family men". A young man sees this, recognizes it for what it is, and by age 30/35, knows the deal and ties the knot --- because marriage will benefit him in many more ways than not.
1. All that stuff about married men being healthier solely because they are married is hogwash. Your health has virtually everything to do with your genetics, your diet, your level/frequency of exercise, having access to high quality doctors when needed, how often you're exposed to toxic substances, and making sure you get an annual physical to make sure everything is okay, so clearly, there are other factors involved that have nothing to do with the institution of marriage.
2. So a guy should get married so he can get promoted more often at work? lol That's a terrible reason to marry. Even if you make the argument that he'll make more money, promotions usually come with more responsiblities and more stress and it's not like he gets to use the extra money to buy a new BMW; it likely goes to his family to pay everyday expenses.
3. Why would it matter if married men are viewed as more desireable to other women if a guy is already married? Sure, I guess if a guy is looking to cheat it may help him out, but otherwise, it means nothing.
4. Of course the US President is married. It'd be kind of ridiculous if the President of the US was living the bachelor lifestyle and having all kinds of random chicks running through the White House while leading the best nation in the world. However, if a guy isn't the President or a high profile person with major visibility, he doesn't need to go about life in the same way.
5. Most guys rarely benefit from being married. As I explained before, any promotions, which usually result in increased stress and responsiblities, just result in his family having some more money to spend, not necessarily him. Also, if there is a divorce, 98% of the time the guy ends up the loser, not the winner. I can find you plenty of examples, if necessary.
Last edited by bicoastal10; 05-30-2012 at 04:36 PM..
Because perhaps they met women who knocked their socks off and they wanted to settle down and start a family. Marriage isn't for everyone, obviously, but it's just odd to me that some of you interweb dudes can't fathom that not all guys want to play the field, or that they really enjoy the company of their girlfriends and wives. They're not miserable in relationships.
1. All that stuff about married men being healthier solely because they are married is hogwash. Your health has virtually everything to do with your genetics, your diet, your level/frequency of exercise, having access to high quality doctors when needed, how often you're exposed to toxic substances, and making sure you get an annual physical to make sure everything is okay, so clearly, there are other factors involved that have nothing to do with the institution of marriage.
.
You're right, it doesn't have to do with the institution of marriage, but it does have to do with the fact that plenty of single men do not go to the doctor regularly if at all and don't eat well. Women are generally more on top of health and diet for themselves, so when they are married they make sure that their husbands aren't washing down Doritos with Mountain Dew and ignoring that pain in their stomachs.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
