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Because perhaps they met women who knocked their socks off and they wanted to settle down and start a family. Marriage isn't for everyone, obviously, but it's just odd to me that some of you interweb dudes can't fathom that not all guys want to play the field, or that they really enjoy the company of their girlfriends and wives. They're not miserable in relationships.
^^^^^^Very well said.
I often think it can be a chicken-egg thing in that many men are successful because they have a good woman in their life, and in a committed relationship.
Why do so many successful guys marry early? I can sort of understand why average guys get married in their 20s and 30s, but why do so many guys who are or will likely be highly successful (top law school students, med students, Wall Street guys, successful entrepreneurs, etc) marry in their 20s and 30s?
I've not really noticed that. Now days, the successful men are those who avoid marriage.
However, as in the past, I am sure that many became successful by finding a woman to put them through college. Coming out with a big debt can really set a guy back!
I can sort of understand why average guys get married in their 20s and 30s, but why do so many guys who are or will likely be highly successful (top law school students, med students, Wall Street guys, successful entrepreneurs, etc) marry in their 20s and 30s?
I understand if a guy wants to start a family one day, but wouldn't it be better to finish school, start making some serious money (6 figures), enjoy the bachelor life while making 6 figures for a good 10 years, THEN look to settle down around 40 to a woman who is around the age of 30? I'm just wondering because I know so many guys who worked very hard to put themselves in a great financial position, but got married/engaged prior to making excellent money and pretty much missed out on everything that comes with being a highly successful, single guy. I just don't understand why so many guys do this to themselves.
Can someone please explain this insanity?
Perhaps they did not consider the bolded part of your post that important.
I guess I don't quite understand why Op thinks a man not doing what he describes as insanity.
Certainly each person decides what is right for them. There are pros and cons to marrying early vs. marrying later.
If you are talking about med students, some are choosing a path that can be very brutal. Finishing med school, perhaps going to residency program in a city where you know no one, and then perhaps taking a position in a city that you might not truly love. Some people might say that this sort of life might be easier with someone they love at their side to support them during the difficult times. Other people might be happily single...either way you probably won't have the same amount of free time as many of your friends. I think OP also assumes that the money/potential glamour makes up for the potential stressors/downsides. While your friends might be drinking at a fourth of july picnic, you might be on call wondering whether you are going to end up at the hospital and having to leave the fireworks early. This sort of life doesn't always lend itself to dating life.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LegalDiva
EXACTLY
Another thing to consider: do you know that auto insurance companies offer you lower rates if you are married? My husbands auto ins dropped by at least 15% when he updated his policy to reflect his married status...and once we out our cars on 1 policy, we saved even more.
Listen, bicoastal and Dissenterdude: you are free to think whatever you want..but the studies already out there prove my points and as elaborated by Braunwyn, my point is that married men who are married to the RIGHT woman have nothing but the sky to shoot for. A great partner will make goal achievement possible, even easier.
Also, to add another layer of thought to the "married men are typically healthier and live longer" meme, if you slip and fall in the bathtub and sustain a concussion, the chances of survival are much greater if your wife can just open the bathroom door and call 911. It's kinda hard to live alone and not have that emotional security every day.
First my name ain't "Dissenterdude."
Second, I could care less about cheaper insurance. I have USAA and full coverage on my car is less than $100 a month at age 23 soon to be 24, so I'm ahead of most of the field in that department. I'm not gonna get married just so save a few dollars.
Third, any extra wealth married folk have over singles will probably go right towards kids. Like I've said before, no way in h$&@ I am having kids. If I achieve a high salary, I'd love having no one but my d$&@ self to share it with.
Fourth, married men may live longer but a miserable marriage would make life just more miserable. I don't even want to risk it. If that means I don't liven extra 5 or 6 years so be it.
THIS:
but wouldn't it be better to finish school, start making some serious money (6 figures), enjoy the bachelor life while making 6 figures for a good 10 years, THEN look to settle down around 40 to a woman who is around the age of 30?
Equals: Beta Male Thinking.
This is the little glitch in the thinking that will keep the guy from being successful--materially successful, anyway.. That plan doesn't take into account the dwindling pool of desirable potential mates, baby mama drama (hey, it happens--affluence does not equal immunity from a catastrophe like this) The Alpha Male whose life goal is SUCCESS knows that one of the things they need is a desirable wife. Now alphas want the best, so fair maiden must be chosen from a desirable pool (college) at the peak of freshness (youth) while she is relatively untainted and un-jaded from being "out there" The marry young when both are starting out, they bond young and they have each other's backs throughout the marriage. This works out great for the alpha male AND Mrs. Alpha.
I have pretty much described the origins of your typical "power couple".
but wouldn't it be better to finish school, start making some serious money (6 figures), enjoy the bachelor life while making 6 figures for a good 10 years, THEN look to settle down around 40 to a woman who is around the age of 30?
Equals: Beta Male Thinking.
This is the little glitch in the thinking that will keep the guy from being successful--materially successful, anyway.. That plan doesn't take into account the dwindling pool of desirable potential mates, baby mama drama (hey, it happens--affluence does not equal immunity from a catastrophe like this) The Alpha Male whose life goal is SUCCESS knows that one of the things they need is a desirable wife. Now alphas want the best, so fair maiden must be chosen from a desirable pool (college) at the peak of freshness (youth) while she is relatively untainted and un-jaded from being "out there" The marry young when both are starting out, they bond young and they have each other's backs throughout the marriage. This works out great for the alpha male AND Mrs. Alpha.
I have pretty much described the origins of your typical "power couple".
Not to mention, when you're with someone before you become successful (if we equate success with well-off financially), then there may be more certainty that they're with you for who you are, rather than for your money.
but wouldn't it be better to finish school, start making some serious money (6 figures), enjoy the bachelor life while making 6 figures for a good 10 years, THEN look to settle down around 40 to a woman who is around the age of 30?
Equals: Beta Male Thinking.
This is the little glitch in the thinking that will keep the guy from being successful--materially successful, anyway.. That plan doesn't take into account the dwindling pool of desirable potential mates, baby mama drama (hey, it happens--affluence does not equal immunity from a catastrophe like this) The Alpha Male whose life goal is SUCCESS knows that one of the things they need is a desirable wife. Now alphas want the best, so fair maiden must be chosen from a desirable pool (college) at the peak of freshness (youth) while she is relatively untainted and un-jaded from being "out there" The marry young when both are starting out, they bond young and they have each other's backs throughout the marriage. This works out great for the alpha male AND Mrs. Alpha.
I have pretty much described the origins of your typical "power couple".
interesting analysis, but I'm not so sure the alpha-beta male analogy applies. alpha male theory suggest that, as the master of his own destiny, he always has the option of being involved with a desirable woman or chart his own waters on his own. Think James Bond, Tom Cruise, George Clooney.
As as far as the power couple concepts, it would be interesting to get more info on how these relationships work out. just from generalized observation, my guess is that more alphas become betas as a result of being married for various reasons, or the power couple is set for conflict and divorce because of their wired Type A personalities.
Not to mention, when you're with someone before you become successful (if we equate success with well-off financially), then there may be more certainty that they're with you for who you are, rather than for your money.
It's like I tell my daughters: If you have any ambitions of making your mark on the world, try if at all possible to do it in your youth, because this is the season of your life when you are typically unemcumbered from the things that tie "the grownups" down, people in general will be more apt to support you in your pursuit of your dreams because they are more incline to want to invest in your potential. And in your youth, it is all about potential. Later on it will be about performance and production!
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