Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i think that's a great idea (pointing to your eyes when you catch them staring at your shirt). might definitely work.
also, it may have to do with living in mo. can get boring there maybe?
Tell the boss you don't like it, if he doesn't straighten up go to HR, if that doesn't work file a law suit, you might want to start looking for a new job.
When I worked for The Firm, an international professional services organization, I can remember everyone being required to go to an annual training session on sexual harrassment in the workplace.... what it was, and what to do if you experienced it, etc. I can also remember it was The Firm's INSURANCE CARRIER that required this training... they must have been concerned about potential lawsuits from this sort of thing that could turn into an insurance claim.
Anyhow. DO NOT take the low road by commenting on anyone's crotch or anything like that. You do that, and you're pretty much saying that kind of behavior is OK by you. And if you later complained about anything, you can bet the crotch-staring and crotch-comments would be brought up by the guys as a defense by claiming you were having just as much fun with those comments as they were.
The tough part here is you're the new one in the office, right? The textbook correct answer is to report the matter to appropriate personnel in your organization. Actually, from what I remember of those training sessions, I think they said to first take the matter up with the offender... tell them you find it offensive and so forth, and if it cannot be resolved satisfactorily with them directly, then elevate the matter within the firm.
First, you need to determine whether the guys' mere looking at your chest constitutes harrassment. If all they're doing is failing to look you in the face when they're talking to you, I think you're going to have a hard time claiming their looking is harrassment. Harrassment, by nature, is more than just looking, I think. If they comment on the size of your breasts or anything like that... different story. But if they're just looking at your chest, I think I'd just tell them flat-out to look you in the face when you're speaking. If they then say something about your boobs in response... that could be harrassment. But if they just comply with the request and start looking you in the face after that, well... that's not harrassment.
Unfortunately, you could be dealing with a big cultural difference within the company, too. As you know, each company kind of has its own culture as far as what is acceptable and what is not. It sounds like the culture in your firm may be kind of chauvanistic if the guys are that open about it.
Again, if the big problem is they're looking at your boobs when talking to you, I'd just tell them, "would you please look me in the face when I'm speaking with you?" I would feel comfortable saying that to any man at any level within the organization who was looking at your chest when speaking with you.
If they're just leering at your chest as you do your work, though... and not commenting and not really doing anything to harrass you... just looking... well, I really don't think you can rock the boat much for that.
Edit: And there is a funny video out there with Terry Tate going to sensitivity training with Geneva Stoller of Sanchez, Steamer & Co. I won't post the link because at least one poster in this forum follows my posts and reports anything that is even remotely distasteful and would certainly report that link and then I'd get another infraction for being a bad boy. But it sounds like your firm could use some of Ms. Stoller's sensitivity training.
If other women are used to it, and it happens all the time, why have they not said anything?
It is possible that the other women do not find it that big of a deal -
I would agree that it is inappropriate behavior - Simply saying "I don't appreciate what you are doing..." - to put them on notice, is a good idea. Then, if the behavior continues, kick it up a notch.
It is possible that the other women do not find it that big of a deal -
I would agree that it is inappropriate behavior - Simply saying "I don't appreciate what you are doing..." - to put them on notice, is a good idea. Then, if the behavior continues, kick it up a notch.
Good advice here, if it doesn't stop after that, I would do what AksarbeN said.
Shuke, I got that video and it is hilarious, I won't post a link either cuz I too have somebody following me around on the forum!!!
Bah. someone DM me the link then, now I want to know lol.
I can understand where the OP is coming from... most people will pass over this by saying .. " well have you tried talking to them about it, that you don't appreciate their behavior?" ...and it's not that simple. I don't feel comfortable confronting the people that are mentally undressing me around the office. I would start working your way up the food chain, straight through HR's doors if you have to, but not without another possible job lined up.
Think on the bright side, if you make enough money over suing them for firing you for threatening sexual harrasment ~ you might never have to work again from what a major law firm company would most likely be willing to settle for.
Follow Shuke's advice. Don't engage in any playful responses. Tell the guy straight out that you don't think his comment about the meeting was funny and that you hope to be able to work together as professionals in the future.
While looking at your chest without any comments or touching would probably not be considered sexual harassment, the comment from the guy is classic Title VII sexual harassment. Read up on your HR policies regarding how to report such behavior. In order for the company to be held liable, supervisors have to know about it.
Start documenting everything that happens. If you report sexual harassment and the company's behavior toward you changes, that, too, may be actionable under Title VII. If your situation becomes unbearable, consult an employment discrimination lawyer before quitting or making any other major decisions about the job.
Hopefully the guy was just trying to mess with the new person and will back off when you make it clear you're not going to engage in that. Good luck with it all.
Check out your personnel manual and follow it to the letter. Document, document, document...times, dates, witnesses. Document on a calendar that belongs to you and that doesn't have personal info that you would not want to have turn up in court. Expect the best, but plan for the worse. And know that there is such a thing as winning the battle, but losing the war. I am not saying to ignore it, just to know your rights and how your reaction/response can affect your long-term employment at the company.
When a rude male is staring at my chest, I usually slap my hand to the chest and ask the rude male if I have a stain, something hanging out, a hole, a missed button. Most of the time the eyes don't stray again for the rest of the conversation. However, if the rude male continues to stare, I get direct and ask why are they looking at my chest, or ask, "is something wrong?"
Whatever you do, don't do the crotch thing. When I was much younger I was mildly harrassed and I foolishly resorted to a similar technique which escalated the situation on the part of the male. It ended when I reported him. I had to admit to the part I played in the situation which was silly and immature, not to mention, I was embarrassed to admit that I commented on the size of someone's ahem to a room full of suits. Sigh, thank goodness I'm a bit wiser, albeit left with a yicky memory. Best of luck in your situation.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.