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No one is forcing you to buy dinner for women. That is your choice. Women are happy with a walk in the park, literally, or a coffee date, or a museum date. Just because you paid for something (and why should you pay on the first couple of dates, anyway? Many women prefer to pay their own way at first), doesn't entitle you to a piece of your date's body, whether it's a lip, a boob, or more. The purpose of the date (assuming you're strangers, or near-strangers) is to see if there's any common ground there at all upon which to base a 2nd date. The purpose of the 2nd date is to explore further to see if there's enough common ground for a possible exclusive relationship of some nature. If you want to buy your goodies, you know where to go for that, it's easy enough.
You missed my point. I don't ask strange women out. I have to know them first. I'm not interested in being your "fun" for the night. Save that for some other poor sucker. I have to like you before I would even ask. I won't ask women who date around for fun. It's clearly not my bag and I would rather just stay home by myself than fuel some gals fire who likes to play games and numbers. No thanks.
And...if you don't get the joke, that means you floored it. Follow one sometime. See what happens when he hammers it after it's loaded up from stoplights and heavy traffic.
Some get what I'm saying, some dont. This isn't about SEX! It's about dating.
BTW I used "sex and the city" as an example of what I consider "American Dating" nothing more.
Over here, if a guy asks you out on a date, it's significant. In America, it is not, and quite common for people to date several people all at once, having sex with none of them.
In Aus, we are more casual, someone pointed out we are more likely to know and like each other first, because we tend to hang out in groups not couples.
Take a date with a guy from work - you two may know each other quite well, have worked together for a long time...if he asks you to dinner or coffee, it means he wants to move it past work colleagues...he wants you. IF YOU ACCEPT, IT MEANS YOU WANT HIM TOO.
Otherwise, you stay hanging in a group, or if you do become friends (I have several male friends) you pay for your own coffee.
Dating is only for when someone is seriously interested in a relationship with you. In America, it is much more likely to be "friendly" before it becomes romantic. In Australia, IF YOU ACCEPT, it means that someone's going to get lucky, real soon.
In America, it is socially acceptable to "date" several people at once. In Australia, IT IS NOT. Dating implies exclusivity here. If you aren't interested in exclusivity, you say "no"...or you go as "friends" and pay your own way.
For example, one of my male friends may say "lets go and see X movie". I would say "yes" and pay my own way. This would not be considered a DATE.
If one of my male friends said "I would like to take you out" it is a whole different ball game. I would expect to be taken out, wined, dined, and I would expect to be the only woman he is taking out, further, I would expect to be starting aan exclusive romantic relationship with him. If I didn't want a romantic relationship with him, I would say NO.
Those who insist its not the same in either country...go and check out the other threads. They are FULL of American people saying "what does this mean?".
In Australia, we know what it means.
I've done that for years MsAnn. I've also avoided women who like to date around and aren't serious for anything or anyone. I'm not interested in taking you out to get nothing while some other guy for whatever reason does. To hell with that. She can keep playing that game. Guys like me won't even bother. If I ask you out, you are the only one. If it works out, great...if not oh well, onto the next one. This new "casual dating" thing in the States is for the birds. That's how people who don't know what they want "have a good time". I'm not interested in being some gals good time. I'm only on a date with her in the first place because I thought she was pretty and seemed to share some things what I was looking for. Any fool can get a yes to just go out to have fun. Try it again with one who you actually might stand a chance to have a realtionship with. It's not so easy then.
Girls, please don't go down the path of 'traditional' Australian dating! It's absolutely abysmal here. It's like the women have to be 'one of the boys' here, to be accepted into the male circle of friends first, before they become 'mates' and then 'best mates' - there's just no romance involved at all. This is what we've had to put up with here: Women
GAH! Thanks for the warning! Mateship we call here "the old boys' network".
Keg culture--I wouldn't do well there.
So. If you take flowers to your mom or your woman, you're a "poof". Here's to poofs, then!
I like the idea of hanging out in groups, and getting to know people through the group. But not so much if it involves alcohol. But...that's just me.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldfrapp
Girls, please don't go down the path of 'traditional' Australian dating! It's absolutely abysmal here. It's like the women have to be 'one of the boys' here, to be accepted into the male circle of friends first, before they become 'mates' and then 'best mates' - there's just no romance involved at all. This is what we've had to put up with here: Women
Count your blessings, girls!
I hear mainly negative things about American women on the internet, I wonder what the reality is?
Even back in WWII the G.I's were popular because they 'knew how to treat a lady' unlike those boorish Aussie blokes. I wonder if the opposite is true, if American women are much more romantic?
I have a friend who is in the Army, ironically, who went over to the States for some training and brought home an American sheila.
Girls, please don't go down the path of 'traditional' Australian dating! It's absolutely abysmal here. It's like the women have to be 'one of the boys' here, to be accepted into the male circle of friends first, before they become 'mates' and then 'best mates' - there's just no romance involved at all. This is what we've had to put up with here: Women
Count your blessings, girls!
Aussie guys getting a bad rap.
I've dated guys who have been very romantic.
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