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And yet, lots of people do it, including women who join churches just to meet guys. I'm told on a number of forums that church is the happening singles scene. Who knew?
Won't go to church because I don't believe. To me church should be primarily about pursuing one's beliefs. Meeting people is only a bonus.
I agree with the people who reject that particular advice about going to church to meet a woman.
I thought he'd decided women disgusted him, and he was more attracted to men. That's his newest thread.
This is my newest thread.
And I never said any of that in the previous thread.
I said I was attempting to instill into myself a belief that I don't desire women so that I could obtain true celibacy of mind and spirit, so that I could pursue "higher interests" than carnal desires. Secondly, I never said that I was more attracted to men. Others suggested that I am gay. I said that it is possible, but that I am more naturally attracted to women.
And I never said any of that in the previous thread.
I said I was attempting to instill into myself a belief that I don't desire women so that I could obtain true celibacy of mind and spirit, so that I could pursue "higher interests" than carnal desires. Secondly, I never said that I was more attracted to men. Others suggested that I am gay. I said that it is possible, but that I am more naturally attracted to women.
Not you. The discussion digressed at one point to something another member had posted, so my comment addressed that. This one here is the only one of your threads I've ever seen. I don't think you're gay, I don't get the impression anyone here does. It was fairly clear from the first page or two that it was social anxiety.
Low self-esteem means you can't deal with rejection. You have to believe in yourself to the point just short of arrogance. And why not? Most people do this unthinkingly without much effort. Put positive experiences in your life and this will come easily. Start cutting all those soul draining things out of your life as much as possible.
I am arrogant. Very arrogant.
But many arrogant people can't deal with rejection, because it would deflate their egos.
It feels better to believe that I'm rejecting all the women than it would feel to know that particular women have rejected me.
But I have a strange sort of arrogance, where I feel like I'm a "great man" superior in the most important / metaphysical ways over other people, but I know that on day-to-day things and on practical things I am inferior to many.
Small steps- You say that you have gotten the odd smile from some woman..That smile is called the non-verbal hello..They trust and like what they see so they give their approval with a smile.....The next step for you is to actually open your mouth and utter the word "hello" or "Hi" - that's it- There does not have to be a big follow up at that moment...or a conversation...Smile and say hi ...then keep going about your business..It's not some big important moment-
Get in the habit of using one word...after a bit of time you will run into the same person and give them a nod or a smile or a hello---relationships are built up gradually- woman for the most part are exactly like you- most are also shy...Eventually a conversation will take place .....like if she is leaving the store you could comment on how much you like the chocolate she just bought...There is no pressure on anyone to deliver any sort of goods.....You make the mistake of thinking that there is some ultimate goal- the goal is to enjoy people--if they happen to be female- they are more enjoyable.
Woman who are smart enjoy and honest man...they don't like desperate weasels - if you are shy it is because you are good...good is a good start.
First thing first. What kind of activities do you like to do? (besides surfing the internet & watching tv), What type of women do you like? Once you figure those things out it'll make things a little easier. Try to find friends that have some of the same interests as you. Since your in a college town then you have a lot of access to women.
Get out of your comfort zone and try to do some new things. Try out some new places, change up your style. You got to get out and change your luck.
I have some less common interests such as dixieland music, vocal classical music, birdwatching, trees. Not a lot of people, especially in a less populated area, that are interested in stuff like that.
You can either get depressed about them or take practical steps to solve them and not let them ruin your life. Have you never heard of dating sites?
Moaning about the pretty young girls you see is kinda stupid - do you think all those retirees are sitting around looking at the pigeons? No, they're looking at the pretty girls, enjoying the view...just like I can look at Charlie Hunnam, know I will NEVER get next to him, but I can still look and enjoy imagining it.
I actually think you're depressed and could probably use medication and/or therapy.
You don't really understand. If you've had relationships, and especially if you're currently in one, it's not so bad to "enjoy the view" so to speak. But when you've got nobody, then "enjoying the view" isn't so fun.
But you're right about taking practical steps to solve one's problems. Absolutely right. I'm just too lazy to do anything about it. It's easy to keep watching TV and surfing the internet.
Fine. Don't come here whining though. What do you expect us to say? "Yeah, you right - your hopeless. Kill yourself"?
I expect you to say whatever comes to your mind. Thanks for your comment.
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