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I'm a reasonably attractive man but even so in my whole life I've probably only been approached by women on 2 occasions where they were very upfront about coming on to me. On both occasions I felt very uncomfortable, mostly because I had to say I wasn't interested and it was quite embarrassing. At least I didn't feel threatened though.
Overrall I think men have the far better deal. It may be true that women are approached by men all the time in the day and at clubs but most of the time it is by men they find unnatractive. I'd MUCH rather be in the position where in any given "approach situation" it is with someone I find attractive. Sure we have the rejection to deal with but at least we get to pick the interactions we have.
Well if that's the case then woman can do the approaching.
Harassment is never ok, or being overly aggressive, rude or pushy, but i get the sense that some of you feel that this is so unwanted and unnatural. How the he11 is a single guy supposed to have a dating life if he were to never approach women in public? Its the most normal and natural thing in the world. Not only that, most women find it flattering even if they put up a front to make it seem otherwise.
How the he11 is a single guy supposed to have a dating life if he were to never approach women in public? Its the most normal and natural thing in the world. Not only that, most women find it flattering even if they put up a front to make it seem otherwise.
Uh, maybe through sports leagues, meetup groups, volunteering, school, work, friends, list goes on. Vast majority meet SO's through these things, it's organic and more efficient.
It is also the street harassment capital of the world too. Most women are harassed from dusk till dawn from all types. You need to have a guard up.
I can't imagine living somewhere where you're approached in the streets constantly.
Has anyone ever had success from passing someone on the street and it developing into a relationship? I don't know of anyone who started a relationship that way. Passing a stranger on the sidewalk gives you a couple of seconds to look at the person and all that's registering is how they look physically in that moment, and you don't know a single thing about them. And women should be receptive to a strange man who has given them a cursory glance and wants something more from them?
Location, location, location, and that doesn't just apply to home purchases. A woman you regularly see in the mornings at the local coffee shop is likely going to be more receptive to your interest that a stranger you're passing in the street, who is going somewhere with a purpose, not just loitering on the sidewalk hoping a man will notice her and ask her out.
Well, blame the tone on the OP. I repeated exactly what he said, and just replaced a word or two to make it accurate.
Who said she should?
You sound angry.
Well, see, this is the kind of dismissive tone that drives women batty. You're going to play the "women are emotional/irrational" card to shut me down? I'm not angry, but so what if I was? I disagree with you, that's all. Doesn't mean you're right and I'm wrong or vice versa.
I live in the NYC/NJ are which I say is "the capitol" of standoffish women. A lot of these women are so emotionally damaged from past relationships that they have a hard time smiling in front of any man. They will smile/kiss up to a boss, but completely change when they are in the store or walking on the streets. Not all women here are like that but a larger percentage are.
Uh, I feel compelled to tell you that if you need strangers to smile at you on the street, you are living i the wrong city. It has nothing to do with being "damaged" any more than your need to be smiled at makes you damaged, it's just a cultural norm.
Uh, maybe through sports leagues, meetup groups, volunteering, school, work, friends, list goes on. Vast majority meet SO's through these things, it's organic and more efficient.
Thats not organic. Thats limiting yourself to an incredibly small amount of possible mates. Might as well start going out on blind dates, so maybe by chance you find someone you could settle for. Joining the toaster club in hope you meet the one is for suckers and wimps. Im sorry, but its not the 1950, where you had to be formaly iuntroduced to your future wife. I want the ability to choose my mate, someone that I find incredibly attractive and someone i have great chemistry with. If a guy knows how to approach, almost all women warm up really fast.
Thats not organic. Thats limiting yourself to an incredibly small amount of possible mates. Might as well start going out on blind dates, so maybe by chance you find someone you could settle for. Im sorry, but its not the 1950, where you had to be formaly iuntroduced to your future wife. I want the ability to choose my mate, someone that I find incredibly attractive and someone i have great chemistry with. If a guy knows how to approach, almost all women warm up really fast.
But you're not going to be able to discern chemistry passing a stranger on the sidewalk. All those suggestions that Broncos Quarterback listed are great ways to get to know people beyond the outward appearance, because good chemistry doesn't come from physical attraction alone.
Do you think many women maintain a somewhat cold, standoffish, even slightly bitchy persona/barrier towards men in general because they are just sick and tired of being hit on by guys who are overly forward, often in a sleazy and lewd manner?
Maybe this is the case more with attractive women?
I suppose the losers are the genuinely nice guys (not the self-proclaimed 'nice guys') but also these women who might miss a chance...of course, I give women credit, even the cold ones could probably warm to a genuine guy, but I think a lot of women just tend to dismiss most guys unless they fit their strict criteria, simply because they get too much attention, often not very flattering.
Would you agree that's a big problem with modern dating?
Another insightful post.
Yep. That is one turning point in adulthood for many women: It's what makes them realize that bars and clubs are best enjoyed with large groups of other women--get back from the pack--or mixed groups, like male and female coworkers.
Once I got to be about 25 or 26, I learned to trust my gut with sizing men up and perfect the art of the "cut" for the ones who were rude, lewd, or overly-aggressive, the look that says, "Yeah, right. You must be compensating for something. No thanks." I also changed my venues and went to small Goth/industrial clubs where there wasn't a horndog vibe.
However, I never had any trouble with good guys. When someone is sincere and genuine, and doesn't act like a dolt, like he's full of himself, or inappropriately, I'd talk to him.
Really, what you're speaking of is a fine-tuning of the radar for jerks. There is nothing wrong with that. Women don't owe anyone tolerance for buffoonery.
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