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From the Wall Street Journal: [URL="http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2012/02/06/online-dating-isnt-the-likely-route-to-mr-or-ms-right-study/"]Online Dating Isn’t the Likely Route to Mr. or Ms. Right: Study - Health Blog - WSJ[/URL]
PDF of uncorrected proof of scientific paper: [URL="http://www.psychologicalscience.org/pdf/PSPI-online_dating-proof.pdf"]Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science[/URL]
Take-home message: Online dating sites are nice for meeting new people, but there is no substitute for face-to-face communication. As one researcher put it, "use the online dating sight to get off-line." In other words, meet off-line as quickly as possible to see if there is that that intangible but necessary spark of chemistry.
Well, people who live in the handful of places where you actually meet people on the streets can sneeze at it all they want to. In most locations in this country there are hardly any other options (once you're out of school).
Pretty interesting. And thank you for posting the actual study.
Ya know, I never had much luck with online dating. I met plenty of perfectly nice, attractive men, but looking good on paper--or in this case, on screen--only goes so far. It doesn't tell you anything about how the other person reacts to things, carries on a conversation, presents himself or herself (right down to hygiene), and all the other things you need to be in the moment to see. Ten minutes of non-verbal cues and body language can tell you as much about a person as a thousand words of type.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
Well, people who live in the handful of places where you actually meet people on the streets can sneeze at it all they want to. In most locations in this country there are hardly any other options (once you're out of school).
That's not the point of the article or the study. They actually said there was nothing wrong with meeting people through online dating sites. The key word is "meeting." The online site is just the place for the introduction. The real dialogue takes place in person.
The other point is that being matched by a computer according to characteristics that the users plug in themselves is no predictor of a successful relationship. Relationships are forged by people, not algorithms.
No, online dating can work just fine as long as you use it as a tool to meet in person and not just talk by a bunch of e-mails and then decide that you're soulmates and will be married in a month
People think because their profiles match they are soulmates, this is what gives online dating a bad name.
Of course you have to meet in person to see if attraction and chemistry exist. Online dating is only for finding and pre-screening people so you can decide to meet in person. Once you do, the online part has served its purpose.
Take-home message: Online dating sites are nice for meeting new people, but there is no substitute for face-to-face communication. As one researcher put it, "use the online dating sight to get off-line." In other words, meet off-line as quickly as possible to see if there is that that intangible but necessary spark of chemistry.
I completely agree! When I was online dating, I'd meet the guy right away to see if there was real chemistry. Most times there was not and I didn't waste time emailing back and forth.
Luckily, with my husband, we met 5 days later and everything clicked. Married 2 years later to the day.
Does anybody believe otherwise...? Eureka! We have hot water! Why didn't somebody pay ME for this "study"! Ridiculous!
Then again, some believe in brides coming in envelopes, so perhaps the “study” WAS needed.
There are a LOT of people out there who spend hours and hours scouring profiles, then writing back and forth for days, sometimes weeks, before meeting up in person. They get their hopes up, they invest their emotions and their time, and then when they meet the person...
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I've been there myself. The guy sounded wonderful, but he was in France when we started communicating. A month later, he came home, the Grand Meeting took place, and although he was extremely intelligent, had a quick wit, and was easy on the eyes, oh...my...gawd was he negative. And his way of conversing was actually kind of whiny. None of that could have been conveyed via email, which gives people the advantage of planning out what to say very carefully so as to make the best impression.
Plus, not for nothing, Sierra, but how many times have young people, with all of their technology and technical aptitude for it, come onto these threads with what seems to us to be a whole lot of social ineptitude and inability to actually relate to people? For those of us who did it the old-fashioned way--phone calls vs. texting, dates instead of hooking up, time and patience for getting to know someone slowly vs. Googling and instant information overload--it seems to be a no-brainer, but that's not how the young ones are wired, no pun intended. Often enough, they think that once the information is shared, actually meeting is a technicality. It doesn't work that way, though.
i once flew to nashville to meet a woman i had emailed and talked to on the phone for months. lots of cute pics. when i met her she was hump backed and had 1 eye. she had cropped the photos.
i didnt say a word-- wined and dined her and left the next day (its ok my uncle lives only 4 hours away so i spent the time with the family).
she never brought up her appearance and i didnt either. i noticed she did lots and lots of affirmations, she was a sales person. u will hear about it alot on CDF when i post these threads about eharmony liars. trust me when angry posters tell me to stop repeating this story, they know how to crop a photo.
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Eureka! We have hot water! Why didn't somebody pay ME for this "study"! Ridiculous!
