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However, if it was some one time deal he did 20 some years ago and never ever did it again, I would rather not know. No sense in making me upset now.
What if it was a one time deal two years ago? Where do you draw that line? Would you be more pissed about the cheating itself or him keeping it a secret?
Nope. I wouldn't want to know unless it was going to be a pattern. Even then, I'd rather he just moved out and didn't add insult to injury by wanting to clear his conscience and tell me all the details.
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In a perfect world, I don't want my s/o to cheat.
But, what level are we talking here?
Kissing?
Sleeping together?
I think the best thing to do is to end the relationship with "this isnt working for me anymore." If she presses why, then tell her an honest truth about how you are drifting away from her. If she persists, then maybe spill the beans, but adding insult to injury on telling her you cheated will most likely only hurt her and make her hate you.
I would want to know if my gf wanted to continue with the relationship. I would most likely end the relationship anyway. A relationship based on lies and cheating isnt a relationship. That would be more considered manipulation in my eyes. I think that someone that cheats will likely get bored and exit the relationship eventually. Cheaters usually cheat cause they have their own issues to confront.
Call me old fashioned, but cheating is cheating, ring, no ring, whatever.
If you spend time chasing other people, you are only using the gf/bf for the idea of a relationship. Set them free so they can find someone who really wants a relationship and monogomy.
That way you can be single and sleep around all you want, untill you find whatever it is that gives you peace, or a person that makes you 'not want to sleep around' on.
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and hit the door, because I ain't having it. 
