Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
isn't it interesting and revealing though....how so many people in this thread have conveniently added their own circumstances to a very simple topic....a man over 40 who has never married. ...
[snip for length]
doesn't anyone judge a person as an individual anymore.
Who is adding circumstances? A bunch of us said "it depends." My answer is that it depends on HIS circumstances and HIS history. You can't get much more individual than that. Logic would dictate that a woman would have to give a man at least some time and consideration to find out that much about him. It's not like men come with this information stamped on their foreheads.
Don't confuse criteria with circumstances. My criterion is that while I would not rule a man out solely for never having been married, I would not want to date a man in his 40s who has never been in love or had a major, multi-year relationship. A man who has been in love and committed will be more likely to have more things in common with me than a man who has not, because I've been in love and I've had multi-year relationships. I don't fret about being compared with anyone else. I am who I am and he either wants me or he doesn’t, and I would not expect any man to adjust his criteria to give me a chance, either. Some men don't want to date a divorced woman. Oh, well! Mine is fine with it. He wouldn't have been fine with it if I had kids though, and I can understand that. At any rate, at my age, I have absolutely zero desire to teach a man anything, least of all what makes for a successful serious relationship. He can go learn on someone else. Say, if you’re willing to sort through all of that, he can call you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
but wait, I cant believe youre talking about this type of guy not having much experience. I could have sworn most female cd posters have claimed that they wouldnt want an experienced man, and how they prefer the less experienced ones. So which is it? whatever fits your argument at the moment, as usual?
Oh, look! Someone who complains of herd mentality and women lumping all individuals of a certain demographic together when he isn’t able to tell one woman on here from the next, himself. Well, how about that?
Newsflash: Some of us prefer men of a certain age to have had certain life experiences like love and solid long-term relationships. Never mind 40. If a man gets to his mid-30s and has nothing more to show for his interactions with women than a great and vast number of holes where his penis has been, he’s trash. However it might pain you to hear this, you know I’m spot on. It’s called wisdom.
Newsflash: Some of us prefer men of a certain age to have had certain life experiences like love and solid long-term relationships. Never mind 40. If a man gets to his mid-30s and has nothing more to show for his interactions with women than a great and vast number of holes where his penis has been, he’s trash. However it might pain you to hear this, you know I’m spot on. It’s called wisdom.
So the general consensus is- if a man (or anyone for that matter) hasn't been married or had kids he's never been in love/a LTR or had life experience?
So the general consensus is- if a man (or anyone for that matter) hasn't been married or had kids he's never been in love/a LTR or had life experience?
Did you read what I wrote? READ the part you quoted. I said love or LTR. I did not say marriage.
Where you are drawing that connection, I'll never know. That's all in your head, not mine, especially given the part where I said mine wouldn't have wanted to date me IF I HAD KIDS and I understand that.
I think its easy to realize, Lilac that she is drawing the marriage part from the title of the thread? You know, the topic youre supposed to be addressing. SOme of the female opinions in this thread really scare me. Talk about shallow and judgmental, yikes.
What kind of man dates exclusively for the long-term without being in love? That's not emotional prudence. That's emotional stinginess, laziness, complacency, or fear of being alone and therefore the mark of a user.
Once you get to be in your late 20s onward, if you're not in love in about 6 months' time, crap or get off the pot. So to put it in terms you seem to understand, get real.
It just means you haven't decided if this is the one. It can take longer than 6 months. However, there's something magical about 6 months that makes it end.
Maybe you take personal offense because this has happened to you - you know, the "he's just not into you" syndrome.
Then you should take comfort when I say that you'll never have to worry about us considering you, Asc.
God, i cant declutter my love life quick enough, before more beautiful women flock to me. Im currently dating a 23 yo brazillian hottie, a 24 yo beauty and a 31 yo intelligent girl. 37 and never married seems to work for me.
It just means you haven't decided if this is the one. It can take longer than 6 months. However, there's something magical about 6 months that makes it end.
Maybe you take personal offense because this has happened to you - you know, the "he's just not into you" syndrome.
Nope! I tend to know where a relationship is headed after three months, and move on if I don't see the potential for it to progress to love. That's a statement of self-awareness more than anything: If I don't see myself heading toward love by then, I leave. One of the great things about being older and having experience with love and good, long-term relationships is that you know the signs early on. One more reason to avoid men who hit 40 without having that experience to draw from.
It has been years since I've had to worry about it though.
And FTR, I've never dated a man for more than 3 or 4 months without him falling in love with me. That sounds so conceited, but it's the truth. All of my LTRs and my marriage had that squared away early on, some as early as a month or so. Maybe it takes you longer to get with the program, but the men in my life have always known a good thing when they've found it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
