Have men lost the art of flirting? (vs, difference, boys)
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You are young enough that many well-intentioned early-20s guys who may be looking for a girlfriend are approaching you and are, therefore, sweet and sincere with their flirtation.
But, at my age, it's the "idiots" of that age group who are approaching me, and they are not charming at all--just insulting. They just tell me right off the bat that they're looking for a cougar/FWB relationship. Like I'm supposed to be thrilled by this.
The big age difference just makes the whole idea laughable. I just shoo them away.
I'm sorry you've had these experiences. I couldn't really put my finger on what's at play, though I imagine it must be frustrating. I have nearly walked out of nightclubs earlier this year after getting the "negging" treatment. (WHAT are these idiots THINKING?) As I understand it, the purpose of "negging" is to "knock an attractive woman down a few pegs" which is supposed to make her want you? (Or something?) But I've been knocked around enough in the past 3 decades – telling me I'm sh*t and hurting my feelings isn't gonna get you far. I do know that when these men, be they sweet young guys or butthead PUAs, find out my real age, they are pretty shocked and sometimes even embarrassed that I'm a decade older and married.
If you're in your late 40s or 50s, there's probably little difference between a 20-something and a 30-something, but at my age, the maturity gap between these guys and my husband is huge. But rest assured that these pick-up "artists" () are as cruel to me as they are to you, no matter how many years apart we may be. By the same token, I've befriended a lot of people over the years who're currently in their 40s and up, and my female friends have some totally amazing boyfriends and husbands who are their age or close to it. When I was in my late teens and early 20s and dating men in the now-40 age group, if it's any consolation, they were as immature and they treated me as rudely as the PUAs do now. I've gotta wonder if the issue is that bar pick-ups aren't really great for most people, once they age out of their college years.
Can someone (preferably female) elaborate on this a little further? Let's say that a woman in a coffee shop, bar, etc. knows that a man who even says Hello or 'What are you studying,' etc is trying to see if there is potential/hitting on them. What can a man do to make themselves come off as less creepy, more friendly etc?
I don't speak to women in these situations often, but my 'tactic' if you will is to keep it general and off the topic of dating, etc until the very end. At that time, we can exchange names, cards etc and see if there is potential for a date.
Why do you want advice about this from females? All they will tell you is how it makes them feel.
Wouldn't you want advice from men that actually know how to do it and why it works?
This is true for those women who aren't interested in you. But, when they are interested, they will come bac with questions of there own. Likewise, they show interest in you by doing this.
because peoples opinions vary on this, some say a conversation is a 2-way street, it takes 2 to make it work, but others say the guy has to initiate the conversation and keep it alive, and he is expected to initiate even the 2nd and 3rd, and other conversations down the road that lead up to dating
I don't flirt with intent Mentat, just the opposite really. I have fun and go with the flow. If flirting leads someplace, great. If not I had fun anyways because I enjoy the sparring, the interaction. My position is somewhat different from yours . I am the guy many here hate because women come to me. It isn't meeting someone, its meeting someone that touches some place inside me that I lost. I am your age exact assuming you did not fib. Dont get me wrong because I love sex but I have had sex for decades and lots of it. Boobs are not enough, I need more and that is where I fail. There are many women and I meet them everywhere but none seems to be the one that I seek. Yet. Like most people I'm many things both good and bad. One of them is I'm a fool, despite the things that happened I never stopped believing.
because peoples opinions vary on this, some say a conversation is a 2-way street, it takes 2 to make it work, but others say the guy has to initiate the conversation and keep it alive, and he is expected to initiate even the 2nd and 3rd, and other conversations down the road that lead up to dating
Then find a woman who believes it should be mutual, unless you believe it should be the man doing all the work.
...the purpose of "negging" is to "knock an attractive woman down a few pegs" which is supposed to make her want you? (Or something?)
These men are abusers who are used to being with women who have low self-esteem. They are so insecure themselves that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to hurt another person.
It's interesting that they use this approach. Usually abusers are very good flirts. They use false charm to lure a woman in, and then the abuse escalates as the relationship goes on.
So I guess it's good that these men show show their abusive nature at the very beginning. This makes it easier for women to stay away from them.
from a mans stand point. Most men now days are just lazy ass morons who cant leave their parents basement. They know only of relationships from daytime television and the internet. They have no form of integrity or chivalry at all when it comes to the opposite sex. As a man it is sad to see the decline in what a man truly once was, thirty years ago the right man to most women was a knight in shining armor. To protect and defend her, to provide and protect her, To stand beside her and hold her hand through this great walk we call life. Now sadly most men are sports crazed, video game zombies that enjoy masturbastion with their laptops more than just a sweet kiss from a woman. So as much as i hate to admit it men are no longer what they once were. But goodluck in your search there may be some good ones left somewhere.
LOL!!!! This is a troll it has to be. Some posters just want to watch a thread burn.
Of course men still know how to flirt, we just do it selectively. Its a zoo out there and you're not supposed to feed certain animals (particularly those with skrillex haircuts).
LOL!!!! This is a troll it has to be. Some posters just want to watch a thread burn.
Yup, Notice how he made that one post and left.
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