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Old 09-28-2012, 12:51 PM
 
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This wasn't covered in any other thread, and I didn't want it to get lost, (mods can move or merge if needed) BUT...

There has been some speculation that older virgin men will find a sense of relief and a boost in self-esteem/confidence if they go ahead and "get it over with" by using a prostitute.

So, does anyone have direct experience with this or know someone IRL who has? And what was the outcome? Does such an experience launch men into a new world of sexual confidence and success with women now that the monkey is off his back, so to speak?
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:00 PM
 
Location: NY
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I personally do not believe that this is true... but I suppose it depends on why the man has not had sex.

Of course, I am assuming most of the late bloomers are struggling for reasons other than a fear of sex. Since they have not had it, they may start to feel women will judge them for being virgins, which could increase their self consciousness. However, I do suspect in most instances there are other underlying causes to their inexperience, than just the inexperience itself.
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,461 posts, read 22,692,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
I personally do not believe that this is true... but I suppose it depends on why the man has not had sex.

Of course, I am assuming most of the late bloomers are struggling for reasons other than a fear of sex. Since they have not had it, they may start to feel women will judge them for being virgins, which could increase their self consciousness. However, I do suspect in most instances there are other underlying causes to their inexperience, than just the inexperience itself.
I posted something similar in a different thread just today. Having sex with a prostitute isn't suddenly going to make an awkward and shy guy not awkward and shy. Sure, he'll have had sex, but it's not that magical as to suddenly change his personality.
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Old 09-28-2012, 01:20 PM
 
Location: NY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I posted something similar in a different thread just today. Having sex with a prostitute isn't suddenly going to make an awkward and shy guy not awkward and shy. Sure, he'll have had sex, but it's not that magical as to suddenly change his personality.
Exactly!!

About the only scenario I can think of it really helping is for a man who is otherwise socially normal, confident, capable on the dating scene, etc, and for some reason cannot bring himself to closing the deal with a woman.

That said, the real answer in that scenario is professional help of the medical/psychological kind and not the escort kind.

(Ironically, these people are out there. My wife knows a woman who had two marriages fail and end in divorce, because she was afraid of having sex and refused to with both husbands! She must have been otherwise normal and attractive, as she got married twice. I imagine guys could harbor similar hangups.)
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Old 09-28-2012, 02:51 PM
 
1,345 posts, read 3,652,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I posted something similar in a different thread just today. Having sex with a prostitute isn't suddenly going to make an awkward and shy guy not awkward and shy. Sure, he'll have had sex, but it's not that magical as to suddenly change his personality.
I dunno. It won't give them a huge confidence boost, but it may be just the little push they need to get them out there and try harder, or at all.

The virginity thing maybe just one thing on a list that's holding them back, but just crossing that off will have one less thing stewing in the head when they talk to potential mates. Heck, it could just start the ball rolling on them working on other aspects of their life.

Note that I'm not a proponent of prostitution, but legal or not, its going to be around in one form or another.
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Old 09-29-2012, 03:02 AM
 
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I don't think it is good at all for a virgins first sexual experience to be with a prostitute/escort. It isn't like something magically is going to happen. I think the best sex is often with a person that you have gotten to know and are attracted. I would also be worried about STD's with a prostitute. You have to look at the big picture. One day you will probably get married and do you want to be telling your wife that you slept with a prostitute the first time "just to get it over with?" Men often think there is nothing wrong with seeing a prostitute, but women in general don't feel the same way. I wouldn't like it at all if I found out my SO had done this. There is nothing to say that seeing a prostitute will be a positive experience, then you will have not only been to a prostitute, but you may end up still being a virgin or have only negative thoughts of that experience. Use your energy to get out there and put yourself in situations where you can meet women.
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Old 09-29-2012, 03:22 AM
 
Location: City of Angels
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back when i still lived in bangkok a high school friend of mind came to visit and he was a virgin. i tried organizing an orgy for him at a club that specializes in threesomes and above, but everyone called me a jerk when he told them my plans so he got scared and backed out of that. took him to different gogo bars for a couple nights, but he was too scared to barfine any of the girls. i took him to a soapie massage place but we left when he couldn't decide. finally he found a girl he liked at a beer bar in pattaya a few days later. totally fell for her, spent the rest of his trip with her. was very lucky he didnt propose to her, he would have if everyone hadn't constantly been reminding him not to fall in love.

basically i consider what happened to be a failure. i know of other guys who have lost their virginity with bargirls and it worked out just fine, so it's not all bad. but in this case it almost ended in disaster.
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Old 09-29-2012, 03:28 AM
 
Location: Central California
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Five out of the six responses here are from women....so you can pretty much just throw this thread out the window.

Of course it's better for an older guy to have sex with a prostitute than not have sex at all. Most older virgins have sex built up so much in their head, they might actually be scared to do it. They have to just get it over with to realize that it's not that big of a deal.

With this in and of itself lead to an increase in confidence and social skills? No. But it's the first step in the right direction.

LOL to the chick that said he shouldn't do it because his future wife will be pissed. If the guy has half a brain, he'll definitely know not to tell his wife (just like she'll know not to tell him how much unprotected sex she had with random dudes). See, it works both ways, ladies
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Old 09-29-2012, 03:29 AM
 
190 posts, read 256,631 times
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lol


Women say not to visit a prostitute but at the same time women wouldn't touch a 21+ virgin with a beanpole. We can't win. Ask any woman 23 or above and they'll tell you they find older virgins 'creepy'.
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Old 09-29-2012, 03:31 AM
 
Location: Central California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TripleBeamDreams View Post
lol


Women say not to visit a prostitute but at the same time women wouldn't touch a 21+ virgin with a beanpole. We can't win. Ask any woman 23 or above and they'll tell you they find older virgins 'creepy'.
Yeah, don't listen to the bullsh*t the chicks are spewing here. Utter nonsense.
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