Running a check on your SO or ex (woman, love, husbands)
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So today I was motivated to run a check on one of those sites that state that you can run a check on a person regarding their life ect. My sister motivated me to pay 1.95 to pay for this service to see what her husbands ex had been charged with since this woman has caused issues for our family.
So there I WAS paying 1.95 and agreed to pay 1.95 for 5 days, not too bad of a deal right? Well not too bad at all, Since I found that my sisters suspicions were true and now they can add her husbands ex to a restraining order they have been trying to do..
After I gained this info for her I decided to run a check on a guy I dated briefly over a year ago for 4 months, I have written about him on this forum before.
This was a guy who seemed "normal" yet when he was looking for another job since he was an over night manager for a fabrication job and was looking for another job since he did not make enough according to him and when I directed him towards another job he stated "No, I can't I got in trouble 3 years ago for stopping a fight for a guy who hit a girl when I was a bounder/bartender when I worked there"
I will not pass the background.,
I had broken up with him due to being paranoid, possessive and so forth, '
When his name came up, all info true to date? He had 4 counts of a DUI, The so called bar brawl? Turned out to be him being convicted of DOMESTIC Violence.. He had warrants from 2 other counties..
One never can never be to sure. Moral of the story? If and when you have a gut? Follow it.
I am so glad I broke it off before I became another victim!
So today I was motivated to run a check on one of those sites that state that you can run a check on a person regarding their life ect. My sister motivated me to pay 1.95 to pay for this service to see what her husbands ex had been charged with since this woman has caused issues for our family.
So there I WAS paying 1.95 and agreed to pay 1.95 for 5 days, not too bad of a deal right? Well not too bad at all, Since I found that my sisters suspicions were true and now they can add her husbands ex to a restraining order they have been trying to do..
After I gained this info for her I decided to run a check on a guy I dated briefly over a year ago for 4 months, I have written about him on this forum before.
This was a guy who seemed "normal" yet when he was looking for another job since he was an over night manager for a fabrication job and was looking for another job since he did not make enough according to him and when I directed him towards another job he stated "No, I can't I got in trouble 3 years ago for stopping a fight for a guy who hit a girl when I was a bounder/bartender when I worked there"
I will not pass the background.,
I had broken up with him due to being paranoid, possessive and so forth, '
When his name came up, all info true to date? He had 4 counts of a DUI, The so called bar brawl? Turned out to be him being convicted of DOMESTIC Violence.. He had warrants from 2 other counties..
One never can never be to sure. Moral of the story? If and when you have a gut? Follow it.
I am so glad I broke it off before I became another victim!
It is time for you to get past this and stop obsessing over him. It is crazy to run a background check on a man you will never see again and only dated briefly.
It is time for you to get past this and stop obsessing over him. It is crazy to run a background check on a man you will never see again and only dated briefly.
No it is not. It could help her to make sense of things that could have left her with so much confusion at the close of the relationship. If it gave her peace of mind, it was worth it. She did nothing wrong or out of the ordinary in my opinion. The information could clarify a lot and help her to make better decisions in the future--such as trusting one's gut.
I have no reason to check on the ex. I know for sure they were all in the clear. However, going forward I absolutely will. I have no time for bull. Life is too precious.
No it is not. It could help her to make sense of things that could have left her with so much confusion at the close of the relationship. If it gave her peace of mind, it was worth it. She did nothing wrong or out of the ordinary in my opinion. The information could clarify a lot and help her to make better decisions in the future--such as trusting one's gut.
I don't necessarily agree but I don't necessarily disagree either, trusting one's own feelings helps a lot in relationships but to do this for someone who was a brief encouter is a wee bit much for me. It also does not mean that they will actually help make better decisions. Unfortunately the gut feeling may be used a few times but tossed to the trash bin when it is no longer convenient because some guy is really sweet or good looking, or is a friend of the family, or whatever other reason may come up.
Terrible humans don't wear a sign that says "I'm an abuser", "I'm a serial killer", "I'm a drug addict", I'm a cheater" and most of them look just like every other human and fit quite well into mainstream society. My personal opinion only matters to me though and I've never done a background check on anyone I dated, I just asked them out instead of waiting for them to ask me. Not all the time but sometimes.
No it is not. It could help her to make sense of things that could have left her with so much confusion at the close of the relationship. If it gave her peace of mind, it was worth it. She did nothing wrong or out of the ordinary in my opinion. The information could clarify a lot and help her to make better decisions in the future--such as trusting one's gut.
I disagree. I think it is very weird to run a background check on a man one dated for a mere 4 months (that isn't even enough time to call it a relationship) well over a year ago. It is time to move on. Things are supposed to end at the 3-4 month point, it is the time frame in which we start to show our true colors. To still dwell on it a year later is very strange. It shows she was far too invested in a man she hardly knew.
I disagree. I think it is very weird to run a background check on a man one dated for a mere 4 months (that isn't even enough time to call it a relationship) well over a year ago. It is time to move on. Things are supposed to end at the 3-4 month point, it is the time frame in which we start to show our true colors. To still swell on it a year later is very strange. It shows she was far too invested in a man she hardly knew.
Oops lol, my bad. I read her post incorrectly. I thought she said she dated him for a year 4 months ago. Oops. Well in that case I have to agree with you.
I disagree. I think it is very weird to run a background check on a man one dated for a mere 4 months (that isn't even enough time to call it a relationship) well over a year ago. It is time to move on. Things are supposed to end at the 3-4 month point, it is the time frame in which we start to show our true colors. To still dwell on it a year later is very strange. It shows she was far too invested in a man she hardly knew.
Meh. It was a minimal cost for finding out some very relevant information, even if it was over an old relationship. There are plenty of people from my past (not exes though) I would love to run background checks on, just to see if my suspicions were correct.
For relationships in general, I don't think a background check is necessary. Maybe in very specific situations, but generally, if you're paying attention, you're going to find out what someone is like, as you kind of point out, after a few months. If a man seemed like he was withholding information, was paranoid or avoiding topics, in my eyes, the relationship would be over. I might do a background check then, but my decision would probably already be made.
The main objection I have to a background check is simply that it gives you a false sense of security. So they weren't ever convicted of anything - doesn't mean SQUAT. It doesn't mean that you've got no chance of being a victim. If you're motivated to do one out of a sense of uneasiness, then that should be all you need to know things aren't working.
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