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Over lunch today my friends and I had an interesting conversation about things that "make or break" the first date. It's because one of the friends is a perpetual first-dater and rarely gets beyond that.
His pet peeve: His race/ethnic background is not easily identifiable (he says only one stranger got it right in his 30 years of existence) and he considers it a dealbreaker when the date asks him where he's from (he usually answers Hanover, PA, since that's where he was born and his family immigrated over 150 years ago).
He says it's not so much the initial question, but the follow-up when they ask him to clarify as in what country is his family from. He then becomes disgusted and loses all interest in the date.
We tell him he's overreacting, but he says otherwise. He is a work in progress.
Mine is when I just meet someone and when we decide on where to go for dinner, she'll suggest all different types of Asian restaurants because she assumes that's what I normally eat. But that's okay; everyone makes rookie mistakes.
What would be your dealbreaker?
Less than fresh breath. Here's why:
1. If he's great looking, handsome I'm anxious to find out what kind of kisser he is and that's not going to be any fun if he has that problem.
2. You just met him---you just can blurt out that he has this problem.
3. If he has this problem, maybe he won't go the trouble of trying to fix it
Another dealbreaker:
Snarky, condescending, barely concealed aggression or contempt. Can't go anywhere with that. At least not with me.
Your friend needs to learn the art of conversation and getting to know someone's background lol
For me (when I was single), it was always table manners. I know it sounds silly but I have a hard time sitting at a table with someone who can't chew with his mouth closed, hold a fork and knife properly, uses 18 napkins to eat a burger (no burger needs that many), just Neanderthal like...BLEH. Huge turn off for me. And don't show up with funky breath either. If I need to offer a mint then we've got a problem.
Table manners are huge. That, and how they speak to the server. I was completely turned off a guy I was just getting to know because he was so condescending to the server.
Low self-esteem. I hadn't really thought about it, but I realized that the guys I tend to not want to see again are the ones that are down on themselves or their life situations. Hm.
You're not in Washington DC. There is a reason why those questions are frequently asked and why I consider them 'dealbreakers'.
In case you are ever single Mr. Rabbitluvr, in the far future, never move to a major Asian city. They are all like DC. Hong Kong, Singapore, KL, Mumbai, Beijing, Shanghai, so on. They will all ask you that on the first date, or even before the first date.
In case you are ever single Mr. Rabbitluvr, in the far future, never move to a major Asian city. They are all like DC. Hong Kong, Singapore, KL, Mumbai, Beijing, Shanghai, so on. They will all ask you that on the first date, or even before the first date.
No plan in the works for that but thanks anyway for the heads-up.
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