At what point should you talk about your past to your partner? (dating, boyfriend)
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I'm a college student in my sophomore and due to being too focus on my courses, studying for exams, attending important family gatherings, etc I didn't have time for a gf before.
Anyways, about 6 months ago I finally started dating and now I'm in an almost 3 month relationship. At some point the topic about our past came out and she started mentioning about being in certain previous relationship and how she got cheated on once. I thought she would ask for mine my past in return but didn't but I would have been honest about it. In my case, I don't have a past at all.
So far the relationship seems to be proceeding. We've gone from making-out to some heavy petting. But should I be the one bringing back the topic again or only mention it if she asks me directly? Also is this really that important?
It is as important as you make it really. If you have no past as in not sexually active it is a moot point on your side because you have nothing to "share" per se where she might if she has been sexually active.
I'm not saying she does have or has had any sort of STD or anything like that, I am only saying that there is nothing to mention really if you have never been sexually active. If you had your heart stomped on before, sure mention it if you want like she told you an ex boyfriend cheated on her otherwise whatever you are comfortable with.
It is as important as you make it really. If you have no past as in not sexually active it is a moot point on your side because you have nothing to "share" per se where she might if she has been sexually active.
Yeah I have nothing to share other than she is the only woman I ever asked out, kissed and had some physical contact.
Don't worry about it. You're not obligated to share unless she asks. She's mostly just telling you to vent and warn you not to cheat on her, anyway.
Thank you for the helpful tip. Seeing how my aunt was devastated by my uncle's ongoing affair, I grew up to despise cheaters so no I will not cheat on her.
I wonder what's the average time frame it takes for a relationship to get fully physical (meaning everything included, not just partially)? I know it would have probably gone further had I been the type of guy making more moves but I back off the last time and didn't proceed more.
Thank you for the helpful tip. Seeing how my aunt was devastated by my uncle's ongoing affair, I grew up to despise cheaters so no I will not cheat on her.
I wonder what's the average time frame it takes for a relationship to get fully physical (meaning everything included, not just partially)? I know it would have probably gone further had I been the type of guy making more moves but I back off the last time and didn't proceed more.
Tell her you won't cheat on her then (and don't). There is no average time frame, just make a move and see what happens.
Thank you for the helpful tip. Seeing how my aunt was devastated by my uncle's ongoing affair, I grew up to despise cheaters so no I will not cheat on her.
I wonder what's the average time frame it takes for a relationship to get fully physical (meaning everything included, not just partially)? I know it would have probably gone further had I been the type of guy making more moves but I back off the last time and didn't proceed more.
No specific time frame, no how to proceed manual to refer to, each relationship is different, let it flow, let it be natural not forced and please don't have sex "just to get it over with". It really is a big deal and a big step (in my opinion) and do have protection even if she is on some sort of birth control, unwanted/unplanned pregnancy changes your life in an instant.
I will and at the same time wish I knew who was that cheating bastard so I can call him out on what he is and tell him that's not how to treat a woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
There is no average time frame, just make a move and see what happens.
Yeah it'll come naturally at some point. I just wasn't ready that day. It feels the same as when I was learning how to ride a bike; uneased at first then just hesitating and finally suddenly going for it.
you're too damn young for either a past or a "partner".
She's your girlfriend, one of many I am sure.
Have you heard that old saying "live for today"? It's true. The past is the past and that's where it belongs.
At my age everyone has a past and to be honest, I couldn't care less and don't wanna know.
It's none of my business anyway.
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