Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Long story short, there's this guy at my new job who's been coming up to my area everyday for the past few days now to make conversation. He initially mentioned that he first saw me in the lobby and that I didn't speak to him (I saw him but didn't care to.) I am not attracted to him in the least, but I am polite and chit chat with him cordially about life in general. He brags alot about himself and I'm not the least bit impressed. I don't give any compliments, don't flirt, and don't give up too much about myself. He's a little older than I, and he's been trying to find out my age but I haven't told him. Yesterday he came up to talk again and in the middle of the convo, said to me "if I could have a quarter for as many women who throw themselves at me, I would have so many quarters...blah, blah, blah", lol. Needless to say that turned me way off. Anyhoo, I laughed it off with him and said nothing. Today, he came up again and mentioned that he wouldn't mind dating a woman who's no younger than her early to mid 30's because he has a daughter in that age range and basically wouldn't want to feel like a perv.
I have shared with him things I do with my family (outings out of the state...) and was giving him tips on how he could find a decent woman in his age bracket (he said there are none, lol), and telling him of actual social events he could attend to find potentials. Anyhoo, I noticed he's been coming up more and more frequently and today during conversation in sort of an annoyed tone, he just blurts out - "are you spoiled?" Huh? I didn't really know how to answer this because I've never been asked such a weird(?) question in my life and now I regret being nice and talking to him as I sense frustration and that he's going to be a pest. I don't like him and feel like he's trying to get me to show interest?
Ladies, have you ever been asked this question by a guy before?
Gents, why would a guy ask a woman this question?
He sounds like he's annoyed that you haven't fallen for his suaveness (is that even a word? lol). I have a guy in my office like that. Some men seem to think they're a real prize and any sort of attention from a woman automatically makes them think they can make a move. It gives me dry heaves. Oh, and I don't think it's a general characteristic of all men or even most men.
Next time he starts talking just tell him you're very busy and can't talk. If he affirms his interest in you just tell him you're not interested.
Btw, his comment about the age range he wants to date was just...just...
Edit: If he's a co-worker and reports to your same manager, you may want to bring it to your manager's attention if he doesn't back off. He sounds like he's got one foot in the HR doorway.
And all I keep picturing is something like this...balding on his head but plenty of chest hairs sticking out the top of his shirt with just a few buttons undone. eww lol
He sounds like he's annoyed that you haven't fallen for his suaveness (is that even a word? lol). I have a guy in my office like that. Some men seem to think they're a real prize and any sort of attention from a woman automatically makes them think they can make a move. It gives me dry heaves. Oh, and I don't think it's a general characteristic of all men or even most men.
Next time he starts talking just tell him you're very busy and can't talk. If he affirms his interest in you just tell him you're not interested.
Btw, his comment about the age range he wants to date was just...just...
lol, he is a prize only in HIS mind. I usually know right away if I am attracted to a guy or not and he just doesn't cut it for me and even if I were attracted to him, I certainly wouldn't be falling at his feet and showering him with desperate attention because that's simply not the kind of girl I am.
I believe he mentioned the age range because he's guessing that's where I fall (since I haven't told him) and wanted to pretend to sound like a gentleman by also saying he wouldn't want to date someone younger than his daughter. *eye roll*
lol, he is a prize only in HIS mind. I usually know right away if I am attracted to a guy or not and he just doesn't cut it for me and even if I were attracted to him, I certainly wouldn't be falling at his feet and showering him with desperate attention because that's simply not the kind of girl I am.
I believe he mentioned the age range because he's guessing that's where I fall (since I haven't told him) and wanted to pretend to sound like a gentleman by also saying he wouldn't want to date someone younger than his daughter. *eye roll*
Hmmm...suaveness...I like it.
I'm wondering if we work in the same office lol...the one in my office is BLANTANT about it and no one wants to work directly with him. Before I got my own office he would come to my cubicle and sit on one of the desks so his back was against the wall and I'd have to turn and face him. He'd sit there all leaning back with his waist sticking out...ugh...it got to the point that I would take out stacks of cases just to cover the desk surface lol..and he would comment on my eyelashes all the time. We were in a staff meeting and he was sitting a good 20-25 feet away (it's a huge conference room). Later that day he told me how he could see my lashes from so far awy. That made me want to
I'm wondering if we work in the same office lol...the one in my office is BLANTANT about it and no one wants to work directly with him. Before I got my own office he would come to my cubicle and sit on one of the desks so his back was against the wall and I'd have to turn and face him. He'd sit there all leaning back with his waist sticking out...ugh...it got to the point that I would take out stacks of cases just to cover the desk surface lol..and he would comment on my eyelashes all the time. We were in a staff meeting and he was sitting a good 20-25 feet away (it's a huge conference room). Later that day he told me how he could see my lashes from so far awy. That made me want to
I'm wondering if we work in the same office lol...the one in my office is BLANTANT about it and no one wants to work directly with him. Before I got my own office he would come to my cubicle and sit on one of the desks so his back was against the wall and I'd have to turn and face him. He'd sit there all leaning back with his waist sticking out...ugh...it got to the point that I would take out stacks of cases just to cover the desk surface lol..and he would comment on my eyelashes all the time. We were in a staff meeting and he was sitting a good 20-25 feet away (it's a huge conference room). Later that day he told me how he could see my lashes from so far awy. That made me want to
and he constantly commented on my hair...
God bless you. It feels like harassment...it is technically harassment...no? Uuggghhhh...I know your pain as this isn't the first time I've had to deal with something like this in the work place. You're a good one and you sound so patient. It amazes me how some of these people just have no boundaries. As I mentioned earlier, I am learning to spot the "jerk" more easily and clearly now and I knew something was amiss when he mentioned a quarter for every woman. I wouldn't be surprised if he were only in it for an ego boost. He already asked me if I was going to the company X-Mas party and I'm looking at him like
Oh Ruth, you have no idea...actually I meant he would sit there with his hips thrusting out..kinda sticking out his lower half. I think one of the managers had a conversation with him because he pretty much keeps his distance from all the women now and fortunately I'm on another floor so I only see him at meetings or if I have to actually go see my boss on that floor.
God bless you. It feels like harassment...it is technically harassment...no? Uuggghhhh...I know your pain as this isn't the first time I've had to deal with something like this in the work place. You're a good one and you sound so patient. It amazes me how some of these people just have no boundaries. As I mentioned earlier, I am learning to spot the "jerk" more easily and clearly now and I knew something was amiss when he mentioned a quarter for every woman. I wouldn't be surprised if he were only in it for an ego boost. He already asked me if I was going to the company X-Mas party and I'm looking at him like
Bragging about anything is a tip-off re: jerk status. And you're right on about the no-boundaries part.
It sounds a little worrisome that he's already fantasizing about the company Xmas party. That, coupled with the fact that he's visiting your office more often, speaks to a bit of a fixation on you. Not a good thing. Could get creepy. I'd suggest cooling off to him consistently, being busy or out of the office running errands when he tends to stop by, and if he doesn't get the hint, draw boundaries via how you respond to him verbally. Guys like this tend to take advantage of women's lack of assertiveness, pushing the envelope more and more. So at some point, you may have to get assertive. I hope he has now power or influence over you or your office. Has anyone else in the office noticed his behavior toward you? It wouldn't hurt to get an ally, in case you might need one at some point.
God bless you. It feels like harassment...it is technically harassment...no? Uuggghhhh...I know your pain as this isn't the first time I've had to deal with something like this in the work place. You're a good one and you sound so patient. It amazes me how some of these people just have no boundaries. As I mentioned earlier, I am learning to spot the "jerk" more easily and clearly now and I knew something was amiss when he mentioned a quarter for every woman. I wouldn't be surprised if he were only in it for an ego boost. He already asked me if I was going to the company X-Mas party and I'm looking at him like
It's harassment when it's repeated and unwanted, especially when you make it clear. We have a very strict HR department so I didn't want to get rude or anything with him. He would bounce around from one woman to another. He never really said things that were extremely inappropriate but he definitely threw out little flirty comments. Whenever we have functions, the other ladies and I band together and steer clear of him lol. I think he was definitely spoken to because he keeps his conversations very, very short now. Everytime he would tap at my cubicle or knock on my office door, I would cringe. then he'd come in and sit down and I'd just keep typing away lol..then I started keeping my door closed lol...good luck with everything. There's nothing worse than being uncomfortable at work.
Either he is a PUA artist and trying to tease you by "negging" or thinks that you act like a princess. Hard to tell.
These are pretty much the only two possibilities.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
