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My grandparents were married for 54 years. For decades my grandfather had a revolving door of mistresses. He always had an eye for pretty women and wouldn't let the best ones escape (he was extremely good looking when he was younger and up to his 50s). He was a very hard worker, very responsible when it came to the children (even though he was mostly absent) and never mistreated my grandmother. She was in charge at home and he complied. Her word was law.
My grandmother always knew but stayed in her position as a faithful and dedicated wife and mother. She didn't work and was completely dependent on him. She was also very religious and came from an ultraconservative family, so there was no choice but to keep the marriage.
Even as kid I remember sometimes seeing my grandfather in the car with much younger women.
She died just over a year ago from breast cancer. The other day I noticed that my grandfather, always a very arrogant, masculine, full of himself type of guy, now has a picture of her on his desk in the studio. He still doesn't allow anyone to sit in her place at the table.
At her funeral, I couldn't believe when I saw him washed in tears, totally devastated. I mean, this sounds cruel, but now he can have all the women he wants (sure he's old but he has the money). Why be such an hipocrite in the end?
Maybe because he does not have anyone to cheat on?
Well, what I think is that despite of some differences they were 54 years together, so they just got used to each other.
The house now feels empty, there is no one to talk, no one makes noise, and he feels very lonely.
He is sad and I am sure he is thinking about all the good times they had together ( there is a life besides sex, you know?)
That's all he is missing now...
Look up Madonna w.h.o.r.e syndrome as it applies to marriages. Back in the day there were a lot of relationships like this. The wife was worshiped and therefore untouchable s.e.x.u.a.l.y
Here are the results of one search http://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=mc...drome+marriage
Last edited by JanND; 10-23-2012 at 04:12 PM..
Reason: link
My grandparents were married for 54 years. For decades my grandfather had a revolving door of mistresses. He always had an eye for pretty women and wouldn't let the best ones escape (he was extremely good looking when he was younger and up to his 50s). He was a very hard worker, very responsible when it came to the children (even though he was mostly absent) and never mistreated my grandmother. She was in charge at home and he complied. Her word was law.
My grandmother always knew but stayed in her position as a faithful and dedicated wife and mother. She didn't work and was completely dependent on him. She was also very religious and came from an ultraconservative family, so there was no choice but to keep the marriage.
Even as kid I remember sometimes seeing my grandfather in the car with much younger women.
She died just over a year ago from breast cancer. The other day I noticed that my grandfather, always a very arrogant, masculine, full of himself type of guy, now has a picture of her on his desk in the studio. He still doesn't allow anyone to sit in her place at the table.
At her funeral, I couldn't believe when I saw him washed in tears, totally devastated. I mean, this sounds cruel, but now he can have all the women he wants (sure he's old but he has the money). Why be such an hipocrite in the end?
Love and sex are two entirely different things. Apparently, your grandmother was not interested in treating your grandfather in a fashion that would eliminate his philandering; that is unfortunate. However, he was honorable enough to continue to support her and apparently love her despite his many opportunities to move on. He sounds like a pretty decent guy to me.
Apparently, your grandmother was not interested in treating your grandfather in a fashion that would eliminate his philandering; that is unfortunate.
20yrsinbranson
Of course, that's not what the OP asked. But since you went there, yes, let's blame one partner's cheating on the other's (supposed) lack of interest in sex.
Some people cheat, even with spouses who are willing to "do their duty" or "treat their spouses in a way that would eliminate philandering." << That supposition is false, BTW. One person does not control the other's cheating. You can do everything "right" and still have a partner who cheats.
Adultery actually can be very complicated.
Anyway, we all are speculating. Relationships are not always black and white, OP.
He loved her, and he probably felt fairly chitty and regretful about the way he'd treated her over the years.
Grief and guilt.
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