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Here in Denver, it just seems to be that white men approach me. Whether it turns into a date or not. But growing up here in CO, that's what I have been used to. But if the man comes up to me initially, then he must be open to other races himself or he wouldn't even bother talking to me.
I'm not sure if I'm not meeting some type of stereotypical behavior for them or what?
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117
Ahh, that makes more sense
Still most white guys I know nowadays are open to dating a nice black girl who is of similar culture. Most white guys I know are only turned off by black women who act in that stereotypical ghetto culture. OP is clearly intelligent and well spoken so I don't understand why that would be an issue
That's like saying women must earn less than men because they're not as competent
Ok. Let me clarify.
Most men chase women. It is a biological impetus. Obviously there are exceptions but for the most part, that's how guys act. Men are hunters and women the prey
When a woman chases a guy, most times it turns them off. She appears easy and they end up not respecting her. They might sleep with her but they won't commit.
In my life, the few times I have broken this rule i.e. when the guy was too gorgeous and I just had to make things happen, it didn't work. I have seen it in other girl's lives. I find that men behave better when they are the ones chasing you.
I see some nice looking guys at the gym (when I go, that is! he he) But I think they are married or have girlfriends. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to pick up a guy at the gym, when all he wants to do is work out, then go home to his wife or gf!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117
Gym is a nice place to met good looking/in shape men...although lots of men are scared to approach there so you need to make it very obvious or just approach yourself
I see lots of good looking women at my gym but I assume they all have boyfriends
Well, it sounds like she has opportunities through work to test the waters in different cities, so maybe she can continue with that. In the meantime, she can check out new options in Denver.
OP, I think the guy you described in your OP was not comfortable on some level from the start, because he presented you with some negatives: diabetes, shots 4 x daily, "blah blah blah". So that sounds like it could have been a signal that he wasn't into dating from the start. So from that perspective, it's no surprise that he disappeared. It just wasn't a good choice from the start. For either of you. This is a shot in the dark, but maybe you want something to work out so badly, anything, that you're dating people who just aren't a good fit, and may not be that interested from the get-go. Then you beat yourself up because it didn't work out, when it just wasn't meant to be in the first place. Stop beating yourself up. You're a good catch. Hold your head high. Try some new venues.
edit: check for a ring on the guys at the gym. There are always opp'ties to just be casually friendly, like when passing in the hall, waiting at the drinking fountain, in-between sets. Are the guys talkative themselves, it is a friendly environment? Some gyms are more open to mixing and socializing, others are more about getting the work done.
When a woman chases a guy, most times it turns them off. She appears easy and they end up not respecting her. They might sleep with her but they won't commit.
Sorry but that's pure nonsense. The only girl I ever went out on a few dates with in my life approached me at my last job and I would gladly commit to her right now if I encountered her again (I messed it up cause I was a young dumb kid).
The way you act determines how a guy will perceive you. You can be plenty aggressive and be deemed girlfriend material if you act the right way (classy and what not)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal
I'm not sure if I'm not meeting some type of stereotypical behavior for them or what?
You're classy, well spoken and sweet/nice. That's all you need to be
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal
I see some nice looking guys at the gym (when I go, that is! he he) But I think they are married or have girlfriends. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to pick up a guy at the gym, when all he wants to do is work out, then go home to his wife or gf!!
Yep, I'm the same way but don't think that way
I have plenty of friends at the gym who are very good looking and single great guys
is this still the case in 2012?? We still have to be "prey" and guys the "hunters"?? I wish we could just be ourselves!! If I like you, you like me, then let's go out, see where it goes, etc. If it goes no where, fine, but if it does great!
I don't want to have to be worried about whether I'm being too nice, or too "easy" just by talking to a guy and engaging in conversation!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies
Ok. Let me clarify.
Most men chase women. It is a biological impetus. Obviously there are exceptions but for the most part, that's how guys act. Men are hunters and women the prey
When a woman chases a guy, most times it turns them off. She appears easy and they end up not respecting her. They might sleep with her but they won't commit.
In my life, the few times I have broken this rule i.e. when the guy was too gorgeous and I just had to make things happen, it didn't work. I have seen it in other girl's lives. I find that men behave better when they are the ones chasing you.
is this still the case in 2012?? We still have to be "prey" and guys the "hunters"?? I wish we could just be ourselves!! If I like you, you like me, then let's go out, see where it goes, etc. If it goes no where, fine, but if it does great!
I don't want to have to be worried about whether I'm being too nice, or too "easy" just by talking to a guy and engaging in conversation!
I can't speak for every guy out there but I'm 100% in line with you
Sorry but that's pure nonsense. The only girl I ever went out on a few dates with in my life approached me at my last job and I would gladly commit to her right now if I encountered her again (I messed it up cause I was a young dumb kid).
The way you act determines how a guy will perceive you. You can be plenty aggressive and be deemed girlfriend material if you act the right way (classy and what not)
You've only dated one girl in your life and you are now an authority on how most men behave?
Ok.
is this still the case in 2012?? We still have to be "prey" and guys the "hunters"?? I wish we could just be ourselves!! If I like you, you like me, then let's go out, see where it goes, etc. If it goes no where, fine, but if it does great!
Be you. Whether guys like when women approach and start a convo or not depends on the guy, but the shy guys really like it when women approach them. (We don't need to debate this issue here.) Anyway, you can just be friendly and bubbly, if that's your thing, and let the guys pick up on it if they want, or not. That's normal where I come from (Bay Area).
You've only dated one girl in your life and you are now an authority on how most men behave?
Ok.
I have a LOT of male friends though, I have never heard of a guy who disregarded a girl because she approached first. Every guy I've ever known loved it when he was approached by a girl
I imagine my male friends have no reason to lie to me about these kind of things
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