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I think success and intelligence matters more for men than it does for women. It seems that in my experience, being a woman who is fairly successful and intelligent has hindered me in dating, it definitely hasn't helped.
My pretty, not very smart girlfriends rarely have trouble dating and a lot of the men they date are VERY intelligent...doctors, nurses, professors, business owners etc. I mean, highly acclaimed physicist Brian Cox is married to a blogger/tv presenter. I think this may have something to do with men not wanting to be with someone who is smarter or as smart as they are, kind of like most men don't want to be with a woman who makes significantly more money than they do. I did have a guy tell me he'd love to date me, but he couldn't handle dating a woman who was smarter than he was...I wonder how many other men have felt the same way but didn't tell me?
I've had people decide I was out of their league because I was "too smart" for them. And then there is that other set of men that just can't get over it, and are in awe for lack of a better term. Also not appealing.
So being a smart woman in my book doesn't necessarily help your cause. It starts limiting your options to the men that are smarter or are secure enough not to care.
I've seen some of the Jay Leno clips where makes fun of peoples' ignorance and sometimes I'll say, I can see how someone wouldn't know that. I'm usually pretty lenient and I'm not one of those people who thinks he is particularly smart. But this was pretty bad.
I'm guessing that woman has never had any trouble meeting men. And she's not even THAT pretty.
I have also run across a few members on relationship forums who say pretty shockingly ignorant things and have fairly pedestrian careers, and they are some of the people who always have people hitting on them and have to beat the opposite sex off with a stick. No names will be mentioned of course.
Meanwhile, I have a sister who is a doctor and extremely intelligent and still single. I'm not saying she's ugly, and she's definitely had some boyfriends. But I'm guessing if she looked like that blonde, she'd be hitched by now.
What a f@cked up world this is.
Rant...
What a sweet rant--you care about your sister!
Can't answer this, since it's pretty much addressed to men. But doctors do marry other doctors and lawyers, and other professionals. It's about finding people who have deeper values. Where does she socialize? She may have to aim her socializing more strategically, to get the right demographic. Political functions, community fundraisers, maybe join Rotary (they take women now, I think). That sort of thing.
I've seen some of the Jay Leno clips where makes fun of peoples' ignorance and sometimes I'll say, I can see how someone wouldn't know that. I'm usually pretty lenient and I'm not one of those people who thinks he is particularly smart. But this was pretty bad.
I'm guessing that woman has never had any trouble meeting men. And she's not even THAT pretty.
I have also run across a few members on relationship forums who say pretty shockingly ignorant things and have fairly pedestrian careers, and they are some of the people who always have people hitting on them and have to beat the opposite sex off with a stick. No names will be mentioned of course.
Meanwhile, I have a sister who is a doctor and extremely intelligent and still single. I'm not saying she's ugly, and she's definitely had some boyfriends. But I'm guessing if she looked like that blonde, she'd be hitched by now.
What a f@cked up world this is.
Rant...
Yes, intelligence/success is a factor and can be advantageous. That said, it takes getting to know someone to appreciate their intelligence, success or work ethic. On the other hand, looks is the first thing people notice so a nice looking person has an advantage.
About your sister... some men are turned off by career-driven women and, despite her academic achievements, she may have other negative points that are making it harder to find a positive relationship. I know a lot of single doctors and, to be honest, many of them deserve to be alone b/c they think potential dates will bow down to them just b/c their doctors. I don't think anyone factor, even looks, is going to seal the deal.
Personally, when it comes to men, I don't pay much heed to the typical definition of "successful", i.e. a high-paying, high status profession. However, I enjoy intelligence. So in other words, the two are not one and the same.
As for less than brilliant women; I know some women who are far from geniuses but are sweet, thoughtful, and giving, and there are more than a few men who enjoy being with them for just that reason. I have a tough time criticizing these men for it.
Because there are millions of people who are highly intelligent but who are not conventionally successful. Thus there is not a great corroloation between intelligence and success. Look no further than Donald Trump.
Conversely, there are millions of people who are successful but who are spectacularly stupid. Want me to name a handful?
All of the Kardashians, Kanye West, Tom Cruise (beyond belief inarticulate, HS drop out), Britney Spears, 99% of pro athletes... ad infinitum.
Men that have been attracted to me have always been way to intelligent for myself. I don't know why guys keep thinking that I am very intelligent when I'm not. I tried dating a guy that was too intelligent and it didn't work out. I couldn't understand what he was saying to me half the time.
I don't believe men are too intimidated to dating women who are really intelligent. What usually happens is, the smartest women a man knows aren't the most physically attractive.
So if a man has a choice between an average woman whose extremely smart and the Attractive woman with average intelligence all other things being equal(and lets be honest alot of the time it's not) he'll take Option B every time.
No.
Intelligence and success have nothing to do with dating for most people.
Unless the success is made obvious by the flinging of a lot of conspicuous cash.
And you would be AMAZED at how many women STILL don't care about that.
What a sweet rant--you care about your sister!
Can't answer this, since it's pretty much addressed to men. But doctors do marry other doctors and lawyers, and other professionals. It's about finding people who have deeper values. Where does she socialize? She may have to aim her socializing more strategically, to get the right demographic. Political functions, community fundraisers, maybe join Rotary (they take women now, I think). That sort of thing.
Lol. I'm the last person she'd ask for help.
She's had boyfriends since high school so there may be other factors at play. She was just an example.
I do sympathize with women on that point though. If I had her job, I tend to think I'd be pretty pleased with my options. Though that is not a certainty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieGal
Personally, when it comes to men, I don't pay much heed to the typical definition of "successful", i.e. a high-paying, high status profession. However, I enjoy intelligence. So in other words, the two are not one and the same.
As for less than brilliant women; I know some women who are far from geniuses but are sweet, thoughtful, and giving, and there are more than a few men who enjoy being with them for just that reason. I have a tough time criticizing these men for it.
Well, they probably have some kind of looks.
Sweet, thoughtful, and giving is even lower down the list than intelligence and success.
At least the intelligence/success argument is realistic. Some people would definitely take that over looks. No way can sweet and thoughtful overcome lack of looks. It's not even an argument.
Because there are millions of people who are highly intelligent but who are not conventionally successful. Thus there is not a great corroloation between intelligence and success. Look no further than Donald Trump.
Conversely, there are millions of people who are successful but who are spectacularly stupid. Want me to name a handful?
All of the Kardashians, Kanye West, Tom Cruise (beyond belief inarticulate, HS drop out), Britney Spears, 99% of pro athletes... ad infinitum.
I don't know who you are, but I highly doubt you are smarter than Donald Trump.
The rest of the people on your list all have looks ... in great quantity, so they're not applicable. In fact, you could say they became successful because of their looks.
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