Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
All of us hear horror stories about relationships gone wrong, and most times its because one or both of the people in the relationship are just idiots and bad people who are selfish and won't give an inch to make the 'team' work. Its pretty obvious that marriage or a serious bf/gf situation is a 'big deal' and it takes a lot of work to keep the bond strong, its not easy. But, isnt it a lot easier if both people in the relationship are GOOD PEOPLE? Good people have the ability to see things from the other persons view, they have the ability to GIVE in the relationship and really care about the other person's happiness yet we see this all the time, selfish and bad behavior is the reason many of these relationships fail.
Its almost as if the pain of actually being a good person is too much for people to handle and they would be willing to toss away their entire relationship by poor behavior.
Is it so hard to be a good person? Wouldnt the quality of your life be SO much better if you just went thru life as a generous good hearted person who actually put other people's happiness on an equal par or even ahead of your own?
What's so difficult, i dont understand, to me i feel that being a classy person to my loved ones is the easiest part of my life, it comes easy to me and yet, it seems to be so hard for many people to pull this off. Its something i definitely dont understand.
It's easier to be a selfish person rather than make an effort to be a good person.
I see selfish people everywhere. I hate seeing selfishness because it hurts people around you, including yourself.
But, when in a relationship, people are willing to try to deal with the qualities that there SO lacks, or dislikes, especially of those qualities they like match there "Ideal".
Sometimes good people make mistakes. Sometimes good people make bad decisions. Sometimes our emotions cloud our judgement.
That being said - I always do my best to try to be a good person. I know I've made mistakes in the past and I will continue to make them in the future - but I'm lucky that I have another good person by my side who is also doing the best that he can.
It is only hard to be this good person when you are operating from mistaken beliefs. I think most of us are or have been the product of a pretty romantically, emotionally and sexually f-ed up culture. The expectations we are lead to are moronic. We want love, romantic love. But we are sold a bill of goods about sin, pure women, men being scum bags "only after sex". All of this breeds a sense of defensiveness that is directly oppositional the kind of giving love you talk about. If I think you are going to take me for a ride, how can I give myself to you? If I think I have to weigh and measure what I get against what I give so that "men" aren't doing whatever awful things that they do to "women" (or vice versa) where does being good to each other come from? In a nutshell it doesn't. Which is what leads us to where we are today.
The happiest day in my married life was when 2 patient souls on then usenet got this through to me. I stopped trying to get and put my effort to giving to my husband, making him feel the wonderful love that we started with. Making him feel cherished. Truly loved. And as with any good man or woman with adequate mental and emotional health to the task, he responded in spades.
While I'm not perfect & I've messed up more then a few times like Dew said even good people mess up at times. I would like to believe I am a much better person then I was 20 years ago which a always had a chip on my shoulder & looking for a fight.
I screw up a lot, but I start out every day with the determination that I'm going to make the right choices. My guiding principle is asking the question of whether my actions will hurt or have the potential to hurt another person. I really think that's the root of all morality. I try to treat other people the way I would want to be treated.
Interestingly, when I was younger and had very low self-esteem, I did not have the courage to act on my convictions - it totally warped my view of the world, and I wasn't functioning all that well. I'd hurt the people I cared about most by assuming that they didn't really want my company or that I was imposing - making THEM feel rejected. It was before my ADD diagnosis, and I think the self-knowledge that came with that gave me the footing to conduct myself in a more mature and sensitive way.
People who don't want to bother to do the work it requires to be a good person are usually lacking in the empathy department, I've found.
Judgment & Behavior- has alot to do with how a person was raised !!
(Inspect the Family before you start your next relationship)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
GOOD Question!
