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I am talking about media in general, from fashion magazines to Jerry Springer. All convey problematic messages about human relationships. Frankly, I find Jerry Springer far more offensive, sadistic and exploitative than most mainstream porn. At least people watching porn know it is a fantasy, Jerry Springer encourages real people to spill the real details of their real lives to a howling, hateful audience.
There's irony in what you just said. I'd say that many people assume what's on Jerry Springer is all fake and then assume what worked in a porno to get the woman in bed could conceivably work to get a woman in the "real world" in bed too. There's certainly a good amount of evidence linking pornography to acceptance of the rape myth, after all. If nothing else, a man can take any porno to mean that women will do just about anything, for the right monetary price. Would you at least concede with that point?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
As far as other media not having any effect: if they don't, why are tens of billions of dollars spent every year on advertising?
You can rest assured I for one have not and will not say that any sort of media is without the power to influence. However, the findings on pornography are particularly troubling.
It's definitely negative because it portrays women as objects, solely bodies created for male pleasure.
It also normalizes things such as anal sex and orgies. And, it make fake size double F chests appear normal and gives the impression that grown women have no pubic hair.
Let's take the phrase "too much" into consideration. There are varying levels of exposure and/or addiction, and YES there can be side effects.
Everyone and their brother laughs at the idea of side effects, but one of the things about side effects is that they have a tendency to sneak up on us. Everyone is sure it won't happen to them. Almost no one stops to think hey, I'm behaving strangely, have shifted from where I used to stand on this...
It can be little things at first. While JerZ's first comment to you was meant light-heartedly (and ignoring Filihok's dismissal of the statement out of hand), consider this:
You aren't likely to think something silly such as the idea that women should be screaming as though giving birth to a hippo just because you touch them or have your hands near them. However, if you're a guy with ANY form of insecurity which is sexually related, no matter how subtly -- is it possible that things you watch over and over might influence how you view certain behaviours, certain acts and finally, certain people?
Let's say you watch a certain act and then you try it on a lover. And let's say it sets this woman off like a firehose, spraying in every direction, screaming like a banshee, biting you and speaking in tongues and quite possibly conjuring up dark entities using your pillow cases and some dryer lint.
This is obviously tinged with hyperbole, in case you didn't catch that.
But let's say you try the same thing with another lover later, and her reaction is less than stellar. It's possible the TRUTH is that she's just not into that, or her mood isn't allowing for that; meanwhile, you're wondering what's wrong with her (cold fish?) or with you (failing sexually?).
Let's say your fetish is large breasts. Now you and I both know out on the street there are women who are curvy, women who are thin, women who are skinny-n-stacked, women who are... I could go on and on, the examples are multivarious.
But you -- you like big boobs. So that's what you seek out for your porn activities. And you LIKE them, enjoy them, watch a lot of them... get used to them... and then you see a gal who is not a freak of nature but IS spectacularly blessed in that department, not only with regard to size, but shape, heft, buoyancy, colours of her skin, etc.
So you're thrilled with your new toy, and you seek HER out for your gratifications -- because let's face it, porn IS about gratification. People who watch it generally are doing so in order to either arouse sex with a partner OR to masturbate; they're NOT watching it for the captivating plotline.
After a while it's not just that THIS woman is doing it for you, it's that other women you used to enjoy don't QUITE measure up to her in your eyes. Oh, they're nice, but she's WOW. And then another like her comes onto the scene. Better, you discover an entire genre of like-minded individuals who are participating in this heavily! W00T!!!!!
You get accustomed to bigger, faster, harder, weirder all the time.
Suddenly on the street a buddy remarks on a well-endowed woman across the way and you see her, quirk your mouth to one side and kind of shrug. She's NICE, sure... but if he thinks THAT measly shape is supposed to be appealing, then he just doesn't KNOW....!
It's a small thing, a simple opinion shift, but it's an effect of your exposure to porn.
What if you're one of these guys who has a bit of hard luck with women? Difficulties dating? And you see soooo much porn, especially these sites and concocted scenarios where guys are just driving around and pick up women, talk them back to their place for the most depraved acts. She was just going to the grocery for some chia seeds (dressed like her last name is Cooterific) and now she's back at this guy's place pulling DP, oral and has a guy in each hand as well.
Holy COW, you know it's a setup but WOW, can you believe she's doing that?
It bleeds in... gradually affects your viewpoint NOT because you believe the scene, but because you see what some women are willing to do for money in a business where anything goes... and gradually your respect for WOMEN slips because of this.
It's small at first, but the effects are there.
Let's look at masturbation itself.
With porn the object is the release, the sexual gratification rather than the act of sex itself.
With practiced self-gratification, unless you are specifically using at as an exercise (which certainly can be done) to increase stamina, what you're actually doing is teaching your body to orgasm quickly and with minimal stimulation.
How do you think that's going to help you when the time comes for a real woman in a real relationship?
Just some things to think about.
And I'm not saying to avoid porn; there are certainly things to be learned.
This is one of the more thought provoking posts on C-D..... excellent points, Urban
Interesting you should make the comparison -- because while I expect you're being flippant and dismissive, there are numerous studies pertaining to this very thing, both with regard to men and porn AND women and televised and movie fiction and the masculine figures portrayed there.
All of it has to do in one way or another with subconscious expectations.
Now, let's step back a moment and take a look at the original question: It wasn't whether porn would cause the effects in question, but rather whether too much porn could possibly have negative consequences for a man mentally.
ITEM versus TOO MUCH ITEM, the differences being exposure and participation in the event. I'd wager you're at least passingly familiar with the phrase too much of a good thing? We all know a piece of candy (excluding diabetics) isn't going to do any harm. Two pieces? Pretty much the same thing.
It's no leap of genius to KNOW that too much candy is a bad thing. Either we've done it at some point OR we've seen someone do it, and the OBVIOUS effects (sick stomach, possibly the technicolour belch) aren't difficult to discern.
But the human mind isn't a puddle of vomit (despite that some minds I've encountered have been veritable cesspools). You don't get to see it, smell it, poke it with your finger. It's made up of thought, consideration, notion, imagination, opinion, internecine reaction, closed-mouth consideration, etc.
Maybe you take in a shift in expression over a statement and you know the hearer was affected. But it was just a statement, and while some are more inflammatory than others, how would something so small have such an instantaneous effect?
A porn movie, or at least a scene or two from one (does anybody really watch that stuff from beginning to end?) before one has jerked and sprayed and cleaned up. Short, sweet, to the desired point.
But another... and another...
A sexual fixation, not because of anything unhealthy but because of what begins as a mere preference and then deepens into a clear-cut preference... into not merely preference but practice...
And practice makes perfect, right?
Take women and the "heroes" of movies today. It wouldn't/doesn't affect every woman, certainly; but wouldn't you agree that there has been a trend toward not merely setting the bar higher but projecting a certain level of unattainability?
How many women have you heard cite something "everyone knows" based on a popular theme in movies and/or television? Some positive and some negative?
I know that I have stood for women arriving at or leaving a table (within reason) since my early youth; but after that movie came out with Hugh Jackman and Meg Ryan some years ago (cannot recall the name, nor care, but this particular bit was in all the commercials) I was actually ridiculed for my actions because 1) women weren't accustomed to this and 2) when a man did it in their thinking it could ONLY be because of some movie.
Exposure to these things DOES have an effect on social trends, and social trends have an effect on behaviours and beliefs, for better or for worse. It doesn't happen overnight, but it most assuredly does happen.
I always enjoy reading your posts. You have a lot of experience in essay writing I presume.
It's definitely negative because it portrays women as objects, solely bodies created for male pleasure.
It also normalizes things such as anal sex and orgies. And, it make fake size double F chests appear normal and gives the impression that grown women have no pubic hair.
Thank you; this is simple truth. Even if it's amateur stuff and the women aren't physically outrageous, from what a social worker told me...the female is the one servicing the males, no reciprocation..she is there for them to enact their aggressive fantasies.
Thank you; this is simple truth. Even if it's amateur stuff and the women aren't physically outrageous, from what a social worker told me...the female is the one servicing the males, no reciprocation..she is there for them to enact their aggressive fantasies.
There are fetish sections of porn where the roles are reversed. I've seen several videos where the man is tied up, etc.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdAilment
There are fetish sections of porn where the roles are reversed. I've seen several videos where the man is tied up, etc.
It's called femdom .. Why do I know this
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